CINCINNATI CC

Christmas drinks

2011-11-28T11:48:00.000Z

Thurs 22 Dec in a pub nr Waterloo. More details to follow.

Glory in the gloom as record-breaking season ends with a final first - victory at Finchley

2011-09-20T16:30:00.004+01:00

It was night-time - almost - when it happened.
A well-pitched up delivery from Frank, a desperate lunge by the batsman in the gathering gloom and down went the stumps.
And up went the cheers.
For this was no ordinary end-of-season wicket.
This was a veritable M & S of a wicket, a little bit of history, a first-ever moment, our maiden win over the mighty Finchley.
After 10 years (virtually) of trying and never really coming close, we'd finally, finally, done it.
In the delirium, the Skip was carried off the pitch into the pavilion where he bumped his head (another first).
Drinks were bought, backs were slapped and hands were shaken.
But my, what a close run thing.
Barely had the cheering stopped but the rains came pelting down.
If we'd been on the ground five more minutes, it would have been 'match abandoned'.
And as ever with a Cincers match, there was nothing plain-sailing about it.
Six hours earlier, the Skip had won the toss and decided to bat, only to realise that nearly half the side still hadn't arrived.
So we had to bat instead.
A scratch order began with Test Match and the Skip making steady if, er, slow progress until the Captain was bowled by Nish, Finchley's left-arm seamer.
Out came Dee and the pair edged forward (literally occasionally).
All the while, there were glances back towards the pavilion to see if Abid, who was ferrying Ali, Shebash and Mohammad, had turned up.
They hadn't.
Thankfully, Tim was getting into his stride while Dee suddenly starting clubbing the Finchley bowling to mid-wicket on a regular basis.
When he fell, for a valuable 20, it brought Tim M to the crease.
It should have been the key partnership of the match for Cincers with our two best men at the crease.
Sadly, Test Match, having looked set, played over a slower ball and was bowled for 42.
Thankfully, Abid had finally arrived at the ground with batters Ali and Shebash.
Pinch-hitter Ali soon got motoring but was clearly flummoxed by Finchley posting two men at longish mid-off and on for his lofted drives.
He was promptly bowled, for 11, trying an outrageous flick off his pads to backward square.
Shebash, so often this season our opener, looked out of sorts at six.
He was run out by a brilliant direct hit for seven but tragically, would have been safe if only he'd put his bat down.
With not much over 120 up and about 10 overs to go, Cincers were in danger of under-achieving.
At the crease was Abid and new-comer Chris who had yet to show his mettle with the bat.
He soon put that right.
Some mighty bottom-hand pulls had Finchley fielders scurrying to long-on and mid-wicket to save fours.
Chris soon had 20 and looked good for more until a disastrous bit of running left him stranded.
Non-striker Abid charged down the wicket, yelling 'one there' but with the ball heading towards extra-cover's hands, Chris stood his ground until it was too late.
Probably unaware that he could have stayed put and left Abid stranded, he finally trudged off but not without an accusatory glare back at his batting partner.
Enter Frank who rapidly set out to sort out the innings and Abid's fitness levels at the same time.
One all-run four had Abid leaning over his bat gasping for breath, with the Skip now umpiring wondering whether he'd have to shout 'oxygen' or 'stretcher bearers'.
In between the gulps of breath, though, we were getting somewhere - 176 for 7 off 35 was at least a defendable score.
It immediately got better.
With the very first ball of our reply, Mohammad bowled Finchley skip Dylan with a quick ball pitched right up.
Soon after, the other opener, Graham, hit Abid to Moyners at cover where he held a fine catch.
Now the contest really began.
Stevie B, Finchley's star performer of the day (he bowled sharply earlier on), was in.
Together with partner Dan, he began to punish the stray deliveries.
The shakey start (Finchley only had about 20 on the board when the second wicket fell) began to recede.
The run-rate of five an over was proving no problem.
It was Test Match who broke the deadlock, skittling Dan for 20.
Soon after, Richard H, with his flighted offies, was wreaking havoc - not without some assistance from Finchley's middle-order.
Richard rapidly had three wickets in the bag - another profitable afternoon for his tweakers.
The odd catch went down, though, and still there was Stevie B, powering past his 50 and looking ominous.
The Skip and Frank started squabbling over field places.
The tension slowly mounted.
But it was Frank who turned the game back in Cincers' favour.
Often his team-mate at Finchley, the Aussie swing-bowler decided Stevie would try to glide him down to third man.
And so he did.
But he succeeded only in guiding the ball into the gloves of keeper Dee who held a smart catch.
The door was open. The run-rate was climbing.
Chris took a fine catch at mid-wicket.
Finchley were teetering on the edge.
The only danger was the weather.
We'd already had one interruption and it was starting to look like rain again.
The light was going.
It got so gloomy that the Skip had to take quickie Mohammad, back on for his second spell, out of the attack.
With just under five overs to go, Finchley needed 30 to win with one wicket standing when Frank wound himself up for one more effort.
It was a miracle he could see the stumps to aim at them it was that dark.
An edge would have gone unseen to the boundary for four.
But he didn't find the edge of the bat.
He found the middle of off stump and the celebrations began!
A fantastic end to an fantastic season.
Victories for the first time ever over Finchley and OWs, together with a clean sweep on the French tour left us with a winning season by a margin of four games - our best-ever performance.
Many, many thanks to all who turned out under Cincers' colours during the 2011 season.
And see you at the winter nets!

Cincers shatter tour records in stunning victory to close French tour on a high

2011-09-06T18:56:00.005+01:00

They told us we didn't have a chance.
After our opening tour victory against Riviera, we were warned.
'Entrecasteaux are strong. They're a very good team. You'll struggle,' warned one Rivieran.
And so it seemed for much of a rain-affected afternoon.
But Entrecasteaux reckoned without two things - an extraordinary late-order innings by Selfish and a superb all-round team effort in the field by Cincers.
The result? An extraordinary victory by three runs with over eight overs to spare.
Under the shadow of the 17th-century chateau of Entrecasteaux, the Skip won the toss and stuck us in.
'Hmm. Is that the right thing to do?' muttered a few Cincers...a versatile reaction oft used when we bowl first.
After Saturday's triumph, the Skip decided to reverse (sort of) the order.
He opened with a very willing JP who, despite carrying a serious injury, was playing his second game in two days.
Despite that, Cincers got off to a quick start - courtesy of some pretty wild Entrecasteaux bowling.
At one point, JP and the Skip entertained the idea of touching gloves mid-wicket even though neither of them had actually touched the ball by then.
Sadly, the pace soon slackened.
JP walked after gloving one behind.
Peter A, gamely coming in at three despite not lifting a bat in anger for years, defended well, got a quick single but then popped up a catch just in front of the wicket.
A total of 27 for 2 off 10 (35 over game) was not healthy.
Mind, the weather was turning threatening so it looked like any total was going to be academic.
Frank strode to the wicket and told the Skip to get on with it..which he did, hitting a boundary to mid-wicket but getting out next ball.
Mark B, Selfish's older brother, arrived at the crease.
(On the way home from Riviera the day before, the Skip asked the Bevan Brothers' dad just who was the better bat. The answer must remain a secret..until the AGM).
Tragically, Frank miscued a drive to give a sharp caught-and-bowled chance while Richard de Q also went early.
It got worse. Stephen H, one of the batting heroes of Saturday, aimed an ambitious drive down the wrong line and had his timbers shivered.
Then came the rains. Heavy ones.
The Skip and his opposite number sighed and accepted that was that.
They even shook hands on it.
But just as on Saturday, the clouds parted and the sun came out.
Pity Cincers' batting fortunes didn't likewise improve.
Shortly after the restart, Jack went cheaply.
So too did Test Match even though Richard de Q had driven back to his villa and got his bat for him.
Cincers were tottering at roughly 80 for eight.
But enter Selfish, batting down the order at 10 (his lowest-ever batting position for Cincers).
What followed won him the Man of the Match award, a thrillingly destructive piece of batting which stunned Entrecasteaux and cheered Cincers.
Ball after ball was despatched to the boundary, including a huge six to square leg.
At the other end, Mark was also firing.
Cincers team members stopped admitting defeat and watched the fireworks sparked by the two brothers.
Was this a case of long-dormant sibling rivalry reborn?
Who cares!
The action continued even after Mark was bowled for 39 and Simon was joined by Stephen W in a cameo '0 not out'.
Cincers closed on 142 for 9 off 35. Not a huge total but at least something to bowl at.
The fightback began almost immediately.
Richard de Q produced a late in-swinger to skittle the opposing skipper while he also snaffled the other opener thanks to a sharp catch at mid-off by Frank.
At 14 for two, Entrecasteaux were no longer firm favourites.
But a stand of 76 for the third wicket changed all that.
Cincers' heads began to droop.
Until...Stephen H, fielding at deep square leg, pulled off a quite superb catch round his ankles to give Test Match a vital wicket.
The door was open.
A sharp stumping by Jack (who kept superbly throughout the day) and a brilliant outfield catch by Richard de Q suddenly had Entrecasteaux on 103 for 5.
They still had plenty of overs, with roughly 14 to go and only 40 needed.
But Cincers' tails were up.
Frank came on to seal up one end and add to the pressure.
Wickets still came but at 134 for seven with 10 overs to go and just seven needed, it still looked all lost.
Cincers, though, fielded like lions, egged on by Frank in his finest Aussie Serjeant-Major mode which involved bellowing at less agile fielders and pretty much usurping the Skip's executive powers.
But the pressure told.
All of a sudden, Entrecasteaux were 136 for 9 - seven short of victory.
To the crease strode brave 10-year-old Tom, son of one of their openers.
Despite the circumstances, the lad got some emergency coaching from Frank on how to hold a bat as Simon prepared to bowl.
It went down the legside.
'I can't bowl that slowly,' sighed Selfish in frustration.
Next ball, the batsmen, Tom and Entrecasteaux president Lennie, sneaked a single.
With Frank coming in from the other end, it was 139 for nine with just four needed for victory.
Lennie turned down a single to square leg.
But then he went for one.
JP, sore hip or not, seized the ball behind point and whipped it in to Jack.
The bails came off, the deafening appeals went up and up went the umpire's finger at square leg.
Cincers had sneaked a thrilling victory by just three runs with 8.3 overs to spare - a brilliant end to our finest tour yet.
Never before have we won both games on our travels, putting aside the fact that both Provencal teams were tough sides.
Many thanks to all who took part in the 2011 tour, with especial thanks to Mr Bevan Snr for umpiring both games and to first-time tourers Richard de Q and Peter A.

The 2012 Tour Committee (Mr Prenesti and Mr Hall presiding) is now in session.
** Many thanks to all at Entrecasteaux for fine sportsmanship and hospitality, including a very fine cricket lunch.

Zut alors! Cincers run riot in Provence as Selfish and Test Match drive the clouds away

2011-09-04T10:04:00.008+01:00

We started under leaden skies and umbrellas.
We finished with blue skies, sun and a scorching victory on day one of the Provencal tour.
Test Match Tim and Selfish Simon, with Stephen H in support, ran Riviera CC ragged as Cincers overhauled the home side's impressive 189 off 30 overs with six balls to spare.
But it could all have been so different.
For a start, the Skipper's satnav, not at its best all tour, went haywire as the Cincers convoy headed east from our base camp of Entrecasteaux.
Result? We arrived in dribs and drabs an hour late at Riviera's beautiful ground at St Vallier-de-Thiey just north of Grasse.
Bizarrely, the weather saved the fixture.
At midday, it was dark skies and torrential rain - the first in Provence for weeks.
'If you'd arrived on time, we might have called the whole thing off,' said the opposition skip.
But just after we elected to take an early lunch, the clouds parted and the game was on.
We lost the toss....of course and Riviera decided to bat.
Immediately, the Skipper's authority was undermined (not for the first time during the weekend...)
Asked to open the bowling, Frank 'politely' declined and deferred to Stephen H.
The poker-playing seamer swiftly made his mark.
He sent one of Riviera's openers off to hospital with a sharp delivery that struck the batsman's glove and looked innocuous but wasn't.
The poor man broke his thumb.
By that stage, Richard de Q had also made his mark - bowling the other Riviera opener for a duck.
The next guy in, Dogra, strolled out and smashed his first ball for four to mid off.
Riviera's half-century rapidly came up before Test Match cleaned up Dogra by bowling him all ends up.
Wickets came here and there, with Tim bowling well in what turned out to be a three-wicket spell.
The 'Trundler', aka Stephen W, also chipped in with a two-wicket spell.
His second ball was a classic. Short, easy and smashed straight to mid-off where Stephen H took the catch in between yawns.
Riviera were stalling at 115 for 7.
In the field, JP, despite his painful hip, threw himself around like a backward-point reborn and saved us vital runs with his dives.
So what did the Skip do? He brought himself on with his looping leggies.
That injected fresh life into Riviera's innings.
Their skipper in particular tucked in.
Even Selfish for once failed to live up to his miserly reputation.
As a bowler, that is. He got carted for a six as had the Skip.
Peter A, making his debut, bowled a superb first ball.
Pity it was just a practice one!
But manfully, he got through his first over for, er, a few years.
Eventually, a sharp run out (forgotten by whom - please advise)ended the Riviera skip's fine knock.
But 189 off 30 overs (reduced from 35 because of the weather) was a tough ask.
Or was it?
What followed was as fine an opening partnership as Cincers has even put on.
Selfish and Test Match veritably rattled along at around eight an over.
True, there was nothing 'menu fixe' about Riviera's bowling.
Their openers served up wides galore.
But the Cincers' first-choice opening duo were merciless.
Selfish first 10 scoring shots read: 4, 4, 1, 4, 4, 4, 4, 1, 4, 4.
Although he began more slowly, Test March was soon into his stride.
In fact, he played as fine an innings as he has for Cincinnati.
One on-drive (saluted by Selfish no less) and one pull-shot for four stood out.
Worth saying, by the way, that despite their looseness, Riviera's bowling was sharp with few (if any) weak links.
That's what made the century partnership, when it came up, so special.
Selfish departed after a rapid 44 with a mishit to mid-off.
He could have gone earlier but his yelp of 'oh god' as soon as he connected put the Riviera mid-on off his stride and the fielder ditched it.
Enter Stephen H.
The languid Lancastrian likes to make light of his talents.
Thankfully, the Skip doesn't.
He insisted on putting him at number three and he didn't disappoint, despite being sledged as a 'bunny' by the opposition.
There was nothing cuddly and big-eared about his towering lofted six over mid-on.
A mix-up meant Stephen was run out for 34, bringing Jack to the wicket.
Appropriately, Test Match's brother stayed the course with Tim to see us over the line with an over to spare.
Tim finished on 64 not out, with Jack on 14 not out.
A fantastic performance all round and a great win.
Thanks to Riviera for their fine hospitality and sportsmanship.
* Our picture shows the victorious Cincinnati side and Mr Bevan Snr who kindly umpired for us.

Walloped Weasels cry 'we want to go home' as Selfish and Test Match seal victory

2011-08-23T22:15:00.004+01:00

It had been coming for a while but it was Test Match Tim who sparked a howl of pure anguish from Weasels.
A wild play-and-miss outside off was followed by a rasping boundary to mid-wicket.
As Tim held the pose, it was all too much for Weasels' opening bowler Greg.
'Cricket. What a cruel, cruel game,' he cried in pain.
There was more at the end of his over.
'I want to go home. Skip, please take me off,' the seamer sighed.
It was that sort of day for our Sunday opponents at Greenwich Park.
Fielding just nine men (one fewer than Cincers), Weasels won the toss and put themselves in and were going well until a freak dismissal.
New left-armer Chris Payne, in apparently his first bowling spell ever, slipped and sent down a juicy long-hop outside off.
The eyes of Weasels' batter William lit up and he hammered it square for four....only to see Tim M snaffle the catch at point. Thirty-three for one.
Juat six runs later, skipper Bish smashed one back straight and watched in astonishment as Chris took a stunning caught-and-bowled.
With his burly build and muscular approach to the wicket, the Skip spotted it immediately.
Chris is Tim Bresnan's left-handed cousin. Great debut.
Cincers had opened up with Charlie Barker and Richard de Q.
Tight-bowling from both, especially Charlie, kept Weasels in check before Chris took the first wickets.
At the other end, Test Match's accurate swinging deliveries meant the opposition was going at a snail's pace.
Enter the spin twins - offie Richard H and the Skip's lofted leggies now converted into involuntary googlies.
Plus generous leg-stump full tosses which helped Weasels up the pace and mount a bid for respectability.
However, Richard's offies were working their usual magic with a smart stumping from the keeper ....Tom Lowe. 82 for 3.
('Are you going to mention my razor-sharp reactions and superb glovemanship on the blog, Skip?' Tom asked modestly after the match.)
Oh, all right then.
Two clean-bowleds from Richard H meant Weasels had slumped to 85 for 5.
The offie could have had more, dropping a sharp chance off his bowling.
As did the Skip. He put down a c & b for the second week running.
But he picked up two caught behinds thanks to Tom, the first an authentic edge to a full-pitched ball which baffled the batsman and the bowler by shaping in rather than the intended turn away.
The second was ripped straight from the Cincers Book of Shame, a double-bouncing embarrassment which somehow the batsman managed to edge into Tom's grateful gloves.
The bowler decided on a mumbled apology rather than a full-throated appeal.
The Skip, who has sent down far fewer deliveries this year than last, would have stayed on for his full seven overs was it not for a cautionary word from Selfish.
Seeing the new tailender speak with an Aussie accent and smash his first delivery from the Skip for a straight four, Selfish muttered 'could be a honey monster'.
The Captain shivered. Memories of the muscle-bound Australian youth who smashed him round the West of Ireland a few years ago flashed up.
The Skip made a strategic retreat and Selfish and Tim mopped up the last two wickets, the last one being the so-called new Honey Monster for a less than murderous 13.
Still, you got yourself a bowl, didn't you, Simon?
Weasels finished on 115 all out off 32.3.
By now, the overcast Sunday had transformed itself into a gorgeous late summer's day.
Perfect batting weather even if the Greenwich Park was the usual bounceless pudding.
But what the heck - we were fortified by a delivery of scrumptious home-made brownies by Test Match's better half Amy at tea-time.
What could stop us?
Accordingly, Cincers' openers Selfish and Test Match set off a gallop, with Simon in particular punishing the bad balls.
Weasels' frustations began to show as the pair rattled along at about five an hour with only the occasional scare.
Eventually, Honey Monster Mark II trapped Selfish in front when he was two short of yet another half-century.
Umpiring, the Skip didn't move a muscle for seconds..before triggering him.
He left the stage slowly, his partnership with Test Match sundered one run short of the century.
James arrived and made clear what all his cries of 'get on with it' from the boundary edge were all about.
He scythed his first ball for four to mid-wicket. Another followed soon.
There was still life in the game, though.
Test Match was skittled for 43 by Weasels' skipper Bish who bowled as though he had made a mistake by bringing himself on so late (the curse of many a bowling Skipper....).
Moyners trotted out with the formica shelving (he calls it a bat but we know better).
He quickly trotted back - 0ut for a duck after giving himself room for a trademark cover drive that didn't quite come off.
Now he's talking about coming to winter nets. Yes, you read it here first. Tim M at nets. Better get a photographer.
The scene was set for Tom to show off with barely 10 needed to win.
Portentously, he called James down for a mid-wicket conference which went like this: 'Let's get them in singles.'
Decoded, that meant 'give me the strike and you won't see it again 'cos I'll get them in two shots.'
Sadly for Tom, the Skip, still umpiring, had a quiet word in James's ear.
He duly kept the strike and got the winning runs with a sweep behind square for four.
Game over.
Thanks to Charlie for fielding for Weasels to help them make up the numbers.
And thanks to Weasels for a game played in great spirit with the odd bit of self-sledging by them.
Match tally so far this season: Won 5, lost 4, one tie. Gulp.
Next stop the tour in Provence!

Richard H leads the way as Cincers' end victory famine at Old Wimbledonians

2011-08-08T21:07:00.013+01:00

A batting masterclass from Selfish Simon, a battling undefeated 39 from BK's Pete and a late blitzkrieg from Tim Cork took Cincers to a memorable victory Over Old Wimbledonians yesterday.
But the triumph, our first ever over OWs, was all built on a fine spell of off-spin bowling from Richard H and a superb all-round effort in the field.
As is now the custom in Cincers' game, it went down to the wire.
But it began with a fatal wobble by OWs
Having won the toss and chosen to stick us in, their Skip had a sudden change of heart.
He was worried we were too weak and the game would be all over in a trice.
Was he conned by our Skip?
It's possible. Many people have been.
The trickery continued.
To lull OWs into a false sense of total dominance, what better than for the Skip to bring himself on with his 'leggies'!
One classic flighted full-toss on leg was wafted effortlessly for four and OWs were up and running.
The trap set, Selfish's famously miserly media-pacers were deployed to replace the Skip.
At the other, Charlie Barker, now rapidly becoming a Cincers regular, started tightly too.
The first breakthrough: technically, batsman run out off non-striker's buttock.
A sharp deflection, a chaotic run and Selfish off his own bowling threw down the stumps at the keeper's end.
(Keeper, by the way, was Corkie - Pete having arrived a mite to late to don the gloves).
Selfish soon struck again - an LBW.
For the rest of his spell, he was a miser - 1 for 13 off 7.
Even so, OWs were striking the ball well when Richard H began with his two-stride run-up off-breaks.
The oppo's eyes lit up. His first over went for 12.
But they don't call Richard the Graeme Swann of Cincers for nothing.
(They don't actually call him that at all yet but we need to get this label up and running).
After being smashed for one mighty boundary, the batsman was bowled through the gate by a sharp turner. 36 for 3 and looking good.
Inevitably, OWs rallied after that.
But then Charlie struck, thanks to a fine catch from a half-asleep Tom L at gully.
He was dozing as Saturday night was his official 30th birthday party.
He was still dozing when he came into bat later.
Back to their innings.
A dry-as-dust and slow wicket was suiting Richard.
Suddenly he got two in two. The hat trick ball didn't materialise but there was run-out off his bowling, thanks to Pete posting himself at mid-wicket and sharply moving to square leg.
The bails were sharply removed by Corkie.
For some reason, the scorebook doesn't show it but he also executed a smart stumping to give Richard another wicket.
All the while, Pete toiled away at the other end, his medium swingers tying OWs down but with little reward until James snaffled a catch at mid-on.
At 119 for 9, with roughly six of their alloted 40 to go, OWs were in dire straits.
They rallied once more to 137 for 9.
Having tried out newcomer Tom Pugh (roughly the same height as Tom L, similar build but not snoring while he fielded) for a couple of overs, the Skip brought back Selfish.
He also took a real gamble. He brought himself back on.
The team held its breath. Was this wise?
It was, thankfully, Only one run came off his two overs, one dropped caught and bowled and then redemption by bamboozling the tailender in the flight. The poor man played on.
Excellent fielding by Cincers had helped keep OWs to 143 off 35.
We clapped Richard off the field for his 4 for 30 off 7.
In theory, the target wasn't taxing.
But this was a combined OWs Sunday thirds and seconds.
As for us, we had a couple of new players to bed in.
It was not going to be easy.
Selfish opened up with Dee who's exaggerated 'leaves' outside off (also known as play-and-misses) were soon infuriating the oppo.
Simon ploughed on in the same old way, watchfully playing late and putting away the bad ball away with aplomb.
We moved along steadily, at roughly 3.5 an over - the overall asking rate.
Regardless, Dee started fretting.
Umpiring, the Skip had to remind him that with Selfish at the crease, there was time.
We'd got to about 30 without loss when fate struck.
Having only just stopped mithering about the run-rate, Dee developed a mystery elbow injury and promptly left the field.
That brought in James who clearly has potential to be a heavy-scoring batter but may be needs a winter of nets and coach Frank's tender mercies.
He was bowled for two whereupon Dee (complete with elbow) returned.
It was a brief stay. He was skittled for 11.
Enter Tom L.
And then exit Tom. Immediately.
Sashaying down the wicket first ball to a legspinner (a proper one), he was so far out of his crease he needed a zones one-to-six travelcard to get back.
Forty-two for 3 rapidly became 42 for 4 when new signing Chris Payne, a mate of Richard and James's, was bowled for a duck.
So began the crucial stand. Pete B, better known for his biffing of Cincers' bowling for old enemy BK, strode out.
OWs were confident.
We still needed the best part of 100 and they probably thought we were done for.
The bowling was tight.
But Selfish and Pete were up to the challenge.
Dot balls a-plenty there were but then also the vital boundary here and there.
Drinks came and went but still the partnership continued.
Selfish duly notched yet another 50.
Unfortuately, our scorebook doesn't record exactly when Simon fell - to one that kept very low - but when he went, a shiver went through the watching Cincers.
We still needed four, or just over four, an over and by this time, OWs had brought some serious bowling on.
The Skip, mindful of his suicidal victory-denying run in the previous game, was pacing up and down as he was next but one in.
Thankfully, he was oblivious to the fact that Tom L, doing a long spell of umpiring as punishment for his golden duck, had just told Pete we had no batting left.
(Despite signalling repeatedly to be replaced as umpire - he wanted to use the loo - the Skip refused, saying he needed some time in the middle after that loony shot).
Happily, Corkie didn't hear Tom's 'no batting left' remark either.
He is a 20/20 specialist opening batter. Not one of life's single-takers.
So just as OWs began to smell fear, Corkie nailed them.
Starting with a four, he whacked three boundaries in all to help Pete take us over the line.
As the scoreboard picture shows, Pete finished with an invaluable 39 not out and Corkie with 15 n/o.
A memorable first victory over fine opponents.
To top it off, we gave Tom L a bottle of champers for his birthday.
He didn't open it.
After his first-ball duck, there had to be some limit to the celebrations!
Many thanks to all who turned out.
* Next game - Sunday, August 21 v Weasels at Greenwich Park.

Skipper's doomed dash costs Cincers' victory as pulsating game ends in a tie

2011-08-02T20:17:00.011+01:00

Sunstroke. A rush of blood to the head. A misheard call of 'there's one there!'
The Skip was left clutching at excuses on Sunday after a bonkers sprint down the wicket cost us victory.
With seven balls to go (yes, seven) and just one needed to win against new opponents SLICC, he charged down from the non-striker's end like a man possessed.
Terrified, the man on strike - new signing Charlie Barker - was frozen to the crease, baffled as to why a ball hit straight to a close-in mid-off was a run.
It never was.
The bails came off, followed by Cincers' wheels.
The Skip momentarily blamed Charlie for forgetting to switch his phaser to 'stun' and immobilising him at the non-striker's end.
But after several calls to the Samaritans, the captain owned up.
Unforgivable!
His hare-brained charge had broken Cincers' hearts.
Sadly, there were other breakages - starting with Chris Storr's finger.
The digit was severely damaged when he bravely went for a hard-hit catch on the cover boundary.
Very bad luck.
Churlish to point out the drop then went over the boundary for four so we won't.
Chris's injury, confirmed at the conveniently-located St George's Hospital A & E (we were playing near Tooting/South Wimbledon), meant Cincers were down to 10 in the batting department.
That became nine when Mohammad left before he had a chance to strap the pads on.
Our opponents - Southwark and Lambeth Imperial Cricket Club - had the Skip worried as soon as he clapped eyes on them.
There was something about them that spelt danger. It was....youth.
With two Cincers well past their personal half-centuries (Tim M and the Skip), it looked like a tough ask.
SLICC, ironically given his injury, were recommended to us by Chris.
Lawyers, I think they are.
The toss - at Haydons Road Rec 10 minutes from South Wimbledon tube - was won by the Skip.
Although it was a blisteringly hot day, he elected to bowl, fearful that SLICC's rumoured fine quickies would blow us away.
But it was our openers who initially turned up the heat.
Tim Collins, returning for his second game of the season, and Mohammad, started superbly.
The SLICC youngsters hardly laid a bat on ball.
After 10 overs, they were barely at two an over.
But on a lightening quick outfield and dry-as-dust pitch, the change bowlers could not maintain the strangle-hold.
The odd wicket fell - Shebash took a superb catch at mid-off from a fiercely-hit drive off Charlie's medium-pacers.
The Skip came on and bowled a decent two overs, getting SLICC's best batsman (he averages 80 apparently) with a trade-mark stumping by keeper Adam.
But after that, the legspinner lost it big-time and got thumped for about 18 in one over.
Chris Storr was unlucky - as was offie Paul - not to get an LB but then none of the SLICCSTERS departed that way (a moot point given later events).
Apart from the odd heroics, our fielding was, well, rubbish.
Tom at gully and Shebash at mid-off got down to the ball well on a dangerously unpredictable outfield.
But overall, we must have handed SLICC a dozen extra runs through misfields and blunders.
Tom at gully and Shebash at mid-off, though, kept
A score of 199 for 4 off 35 was testing, given the rumour that the opponents were a fine bowling outfit.
Michael Holding in his pomp would have been happy with the run-up SLICC opener Danny took.
He wasn't exactly express but my, he was wild at times - dishing up the odd beamer intermingled with sharp in-swingers.
The full tosses presumably explained why his team-mates were so well versed with the 'above waist-height' no-ball rules.
One full pitch which Shebash played on to a very sensitive area forced him to retire hurt.
Another struck Tom on the glove and left him wincing with pain.
This time, he wasn't acting.
At the other end, SLICC skip Will looked to be bowling a much more controlled length which had opener Ali in some trouble.
That said, Ali plays and misses one ball, then whacks the next for four.
As a pinch-hitter, he's as good as Cincers has had.
So needing over 5 an over, we kept up with the pace even though wickets kept falling.
Ali was LB for 30, Tim M and Adam both went for quickly scored 27s.
Shebash had bravely come back in but could not recover his six-hitting form of last week.
As if to match Chris's misfortune for Cincers, one of SLICC's fielders copped a broken wrist stopping one at mid-off or thereabouts as we went for the runs.
Paul, hitherto known more for his spinning, insisted on being a batsman this weekend.
He played like one.
In fact, his stand with big Tim C - starting with Cincers at 120 for 5 and needing 80 at a rate that had suddenly climbed to eight an over - looked destined to take us to an improbable victory.
Remember, Chris's injury and Mohammad's early dart meant we only had nine batsmen or eight wickets.
SLICC, though they grassed a fair few catches, were far better at ground-fielding than Cincers.
But when you clear the ropes, ground-fielding isn't a problem.
The Tim/Paul combo blazed away, with Paul belting one fine straight six.
But with 20 or so needed off three, he was triggered...by Tim M for 23.
'Moyners' is old school. If he thinks it's out, he gives it.
Regardless of whether any LBs have been given for us.
Paul trudged off, shaking his head. From the side-on view came mutterings that he was well forward.
So enter the Skip, in the batting form of his life, having scored mighty innings (for him) of 25 and 37 as an opener in recent weeks.
What could go wrong?
Anyhow, he wasn't needed.
Tim C kept the strike and crushed SLICC's morale with some mighty blows.
To cries of 'catch it' from the oppo, Tim loudly proclaimed 'you can't catch that' as one disappeared far over the fence.
Then disaster.
With the scores level, Tim M's finger rose again. LB. The batsman left for a majestic and rapid 54.
He wasn't complaining but an unworthy thought flitted briefly across the team's collective mind.
Had the wrong Cincers' finger been cruelly crocked that afternoon?
In came young Charlie on his batting debut for Cincers, two balls to face in the penultimate over.
One to win, one wicket left.
The field came right in.
Charlie's first ball. No run.
So what? Seven to go.
The second ball, whacked firmly to mid-off.
The rest is history. Tragic, bloody history.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

PS: On closer inspection, our beloved scorebook shows Cincers scoring 184 off the bat, plus two no-balls, 13 wides and three leg-byes - 18 extras in total.
Using the now well-established Hindu-Arabic numbering system, that comes to 202.
All together now:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

PPS: Next game - Sunday, August 7 v Old Wimbledonians at OWs' ground, Raynes Park.

Below-par BK blitzed by Cincers as Shebash and Tom spurn the singles for boundaries

2011-07-24T21:34:00.009+01:00

BK's long run of victories over Cincers ended in dramatic fashion at Greenwich Park today.
New signing Shebash and Tom blew the old enemy's under-strength attack apart in a hail of fours and sixes - one of them which even Big Jim would have been proud of.
On an unseasonally (this being summer and all) hot and sunny Sunday, Cincinnati actually managed to field 11 players.
Well, 13 actually, if you count Cincers' Dan and his three-month-old son Jack who turned up to watch us.
But BK could only muster seven.
They were hampered by various regulars shunning the real cricket for something called the Test Match at Lord's.
We lent them one (James, 'volunteered' by the Skip) but that still left BK two down on us.
The toss was won by the Skip who invited BK to sample the delights of Mohammad Asif steaming in.
Mohammad was only playing for us after the thwarting of an outrageous bid to pinch him by Cincers' semi-regular Abid for his own league side. Disgraceful!
The dispute, though, seemed to have taken its toll.
The seamer's radar was wonky and he bowled a fair few wides until a sharpish one pitched up outside off bounced and took the edge of opener Hassan.
Keeper Kevin made no mistake behind the stumps.
Nine for one.
The bounce probably took the batsman by surprise on this pitch, another dreadfully low, slow Greenwich Park track.
At the other end, Test Match was finding swing but no luck in a tight opening spell.
The big breakthrough, when it came, was thanks to Shebash.
Cincers' James, batting tidily at three for BK, clipped one of Richard's off-spinners to mid-off for what looked like an easy single.
But after a fatal hesitation from talented non-striker Farhan, Shebash threw fast and hard to keeper Kevin who calmly collected and whipped the bails off.
Richard claimed a slice of the glory. 'There's always a wicket in my first over,' he chirped.
Anyhow, a key wicket. 49 for two.
Meanwhile, latest Cincers' debutant Charlie Barker, a mate of Test Match's, had entered the fray.
He had kicked off with the odd loosener.
But the over after the run out, James's promising innings was ended when Charlie shivered his off-stick. 49 for three.
James had notched up 14, quite an improvement on his two innings for Cincers so far (both ducks). May he should play against us more often!
At the other end, BK's Dan's sweep shot against Richard went wrong and he had his stumps re-arranged. 56 for 4.
With Charlie clattering another BK wicket, the oppo stood at a perilous 58 for 5.
But hell, the Skipper hadn't had a bowl recently so on he came with his loopy (read it as you will) leggies with Rockie doing his meerkat immitation at the other end with his in-duckers.
Cincers was sharp today, not just with Shebash but with Charlie whose arm is going to be an asset to the team (if Abid doesn't try to poach him, that is!)
BK had put on another 18 when batsman Imran tried one too many cross-bat shots.
He fell LBW to the Skip. 76 for 6.
Last wicket pair Seb and Adrian, though, stuck around.
Even though the odd ball from the Skip did something unusual (i.e. spun) and Rockie bowled a very tight spell, the duo racked up a useful 30.
Eight of them came from one incident-packed over from Tom - so incident-packed that the bowler claimed one of his turned clean off the pitch. It's shown as a wide in the scorebook.
On 106, though, Seb darted forward to one of the Skip's trademark flights of fancy outside off, missed and was smartly stumped by Kevin.
Tea was served up by Test Match - a veritable feast of pasta, pizza, home-made sponge cake and brownies of course. Delicious.
Needing 107 off the full 35 overs, Cincers opened up with Shebash and Ali.
Despite a couple of early fours, Ali couldn't repeat his rapid 40-odd of a fortnight ago.
May be he was feeling unwell. He actually left one delivery outside off.
Eventually, he played on to BK opener Hassan. 12 for one.
Test Match has been in a rich vein of form for weeks but BK's opener Andrew ended it today.
He trapped him LBW even though he had got well forward. 19 for two.
A distraught Test Match then locked himself in the pavilion for 15 minutes, ostensibly for 'security reasons' while he had a shower.
Depleted they might have been but with Test Match gone, BK started to hope that once again, they were going to put one over on Cincers.
We'd also lent them a fielder (Charlie and then Ali) so they had nine on the pitch.
But the Shebash/Tom partnership soon crushed any victory dreams BK had.
Tom hit one extraordinary forward defensive-style six to the long-off boundary off Hassan who until then, had bowled very tightly.
But it was Shebash who stole the show.
The strokesman hit 46 in boundaries, six fours and three sixes.
One mighty blow to long-on off spinner Imran cleared the scoreboard, the spectators and almost the tarmac path before disappearing on only the second bounce into the flower beds on the other side of the pavilion.
As the end approached, the two batsmen started spurning the singles in favour of smashing the boundaries.
In the 21st over, Shebash put BK out of their misery and finished the game with a four.
A fine innings, ably partnered by Tom.
But thanks also to BK for sportingly playing the match with men short.
* Picture shows Dan and son Jack (overcome with emotion at our victory) with (left to right) new recruit Charlie, Test Match, Rockie and Tom.
** Next match - next Sunday (July 31) v SLICC at Haydons Road, Wimbledon.

Soaked Cincers drown in Whitstable as Labour Club six-hitters storm to victory

2011-07-18T12:45:00.001+01:00

We all need an excuse. Cincers' get-out yesterday v Whitstable Labour Club was the weather.
The Skip won the toss and chose to bat in bright sunshine...that lasted about 15 minutes.
Thereafter, rain. Fine drizzle, then heavy, then drizzle. Plus a howling gale.
Despite all that, the runs flowed.
Sadly, not for newcomer James who was skittled for a duck.
But he was an emergency opener. Test Match was calmly munching a sandwich in the changing room as the innings began.
Cincers' time-keeping was pretty hopeless as usual but happily for us, the Labour Club's was even worse.
They took the field with six players, with the others rolling up here and there.
The early gaps came in handy as Test Match finally joined the Skip at the crease with one wicket down.
The duo like batting at Radfall.
A few years back, they put on Cincers' first century partnership.
Yesterday, the Skip's luck was in again as his flicks off the pads and late cuts helped him keep pace with Tim.
Test Match is in a rich vein of fame, averaging about 70 in recent innings.
One upper cut for four off Labour Club's quickie left-armer stuck firm in the memory.
All the while, the rain kept falling.
With the score on 82 or thereabouts, the Skipper was bowled for 37 (six boundaries included. Nosebleeds all round).
The 82 was off about 18 overs, though as we always play time games in Radfall, none of us seemed to know how good that was.
Enter Moyners who thumped a trademark extra-cover drive for four and then walked straight off.
With all the others.
It was hammering it down.
An hour's interruption, including an early tea, followed.
It was about 4.25pm when Cincers retook the field.
The Skip, by now umpiring, was working on declaring about 5pm, giving Whitstable about the same number of overs as us.
Test Match duly passed his 50 to no applause or apparent interest from the watching Cincers
(Later, we were not great at keeping the scoreboard up to date. Didn't help the batsmen or the Skip trying to calculate when to declare).
In the end, rain ended the innings.
We came off on an impressive 172 for 3 off 30.3 overs, with Test Match on 76 not out and Moyners departing for a quick 38.
Labour Club started with intent, with one of the Wicks brothers carving us straight and wide.
Rockie, gamely opening up with Test Match, got him in the end.
But the opposition were keeping well up with a run rate not far shy of 6 an over.
One over cost us as one of Labour Club's left-handers plundered two towering sixes.
At the other end, Test Match steamed in for an uninterrupted spell of 14 overs.
He did not repeat his epic 7 for 57 off 15 (if memory serves me) which gave us a fantastic victory several years ago at Radfall.
But he snaffled three wickets with some fine swing-inners and outers.
One was a sky-high steepler caught by brother Jack behind the stumps after the Skip and Roger (playing his annual match for us) wisely didn't yell 'mine' from their respective fielding positions.
We Lancastrians know our place...and our catching ability.
Jack's keeping throughout was top-notch.
That'll be because he's playing regularly for us this year (hint, hint, Jack!)
Richard H, in his second game for Cincinnati, got a wicket first ball (sharply pouched by Moyners who clearly mistook the ball for a chocolate muffin).
Stephen Wright, gracing the side with a rare appearance, trundled in and kept the rate down.
Fielding was pretty good, with James and the Skip saving runs with sharp stops and return throws (James has a great arm).
Roger and Richard put their bodies on the line in boundary saving dives, oblivious to the subsidence implications for the pavilion.
Sadly, Mark, Cincers' founding captain and celebrating his 52nd birthday yesterday, got shunted out of first slip to mid-wicket shortly before two sharp chances flashed that way.
But Labour Club's Paddy and skipper Richard put together a fine partnership which took them over the line with an over or two before the closure.
A fine game, played in the usual competitive 'esprit' (getting ready for the French tour, lads) against hospitable hosts.
Could we have won it? Yes, with a bowler or two more and 11 men (we had 10 after a no-show from someone called Alex W).
But what the hell, let's blame the weather.

Selfish returns to steady the ship and give Cincers dramatic victory over Actors

2011-07-12T22:55:00.003+01:00

Another week, another struggle to field a side with only three Cincers who played last year in this weekend's side v Actors at Greenwich Park.
But no matter. New signing Mohammad Asif followed up his July 10 debut at Hampstead Heath to help blow away Actors top order after we lost the toss.
Actors were reduced to 43 for 5, with Selfish Simon turning the screw with his whippy seamers (he took two wickets).
Actors new Kiwi strokesman Simon Wood restored their fortunes by biffing 52 (much of them courtesy of another buffet bowling performance by the Skip) to give the visitors a chance of something to defend.
But for a brilliant direct hit run-out by Sam Ladbury, Wood would have taken Actors to a lot more than the 125 they did get off 25.3 overs.
Along the way, another new recruit - Richard Hadlow - took a debut wicket with his offies.
Being Greenwich, the bounce was, er, variable. Actors skipper Jamie got a grubber that doubtless saved us quite a few runs.
For the record, Mohammad had us all cheering as he shattered one Actor's stumps to take his fifth wicket, with the celebrations broken only by the call of 'No Ball' from the umpire.
In reply to Actors, Cincers fielded a new opening partnership of Shebash and Ali (mates of Mohammad and all courtesy of Sean Moloney bumping into one of the cricket-hungry lads in a shop in Blackheath).
Shebash looked good but did not last while James, yet another new boy, also came and went quickly.
But Ali, using a borrowed bat, drove Actors to distraction...literally. Anything on his legs was whipped mercilessly to the boundary.
As he rattled up a score, Selfish (who had opted to drop down to four) settled in.
He looked a bit rusty but then the new father isn't playing that often this season.
But one punched off-drive that hit the tree on the boundarybefore the bowler had finished his follow-through showed us he hasn't lost it.
The Skip is always open to pleas so when Sam politely asked to bat up the order at five, he got his wish.
With Ali undone by low bounce (he scored 43), you'd have thought all Sam needed to do was keep Simon company, with plenty of overs to come and only 60-odd needed.
As if.
An almighty heave off what was only his fourth or fifth ball ended Sam's brief stay at the crease.
Thankfully, Dee - playing his third game for us - steadied the team's nerves.
He scored 21, helping to take Cincers to 107 before he was caught behind.
Just 19 to win and three wickets left (both sides only had 10 men) and plenty of overs to spare... so no problem.
Er, think again.
New man Richard was out first ball and the Skip, who at least can normally stodge for Britain at the death, decided to late cut to first slip. Oh dear.
Keeper Kevin Powley - who some old-time Cincers might remember used to keep for old opponents Blackheath Select - was the last man in.
As he watched Mohammad stride out to bat at 9, Kevin gulped and muttered: 'Are we really going to lose this?'
'Probably,' we all thought quietly.
We didn't. Mohammad held firm. Selfish and he got us over the line with 13 overs to spare (22 overs gone, not 27 as stated in my text message).
A great game played in the usual spirit against sporting and long-established opponents.
By the way, Simon finished on 46 - just shy of yet another Selfish half-century.
As Rockie might say, result all round then!

Six-hitting Cincers brought low by Bedford Row in injury time on Hampstead Heath

2011-07-12T21:47:00.001+01:00

A classy 68 from Test Match, six-hitting heroics from Richard de Q, Jack and Behzad plus a fine bowling spell from new signing Mohammad left Cincers just three wickets from victory over Bedford Row.
So enter the Skip to bowl the penultimate over...and blow it!
Dot ball, wicket! and then two fours took Bedford over the finishing line with just eight balls to go.
Heads went down but not for long as this was a great game, especially as nearly half the Cincinnati line-up were newcomers.
The venue at 'The Extension' on Hampstead Heath was the scene of a memorable Cincers' triumph over Bedford a few years back (oh Jim, where have you gone!)
This time, with a depleted line-up (10 men v Bedford's 11) and only six men on the ground at the start of play, we were kindly given the option to bat first.
Test Match (aka Tim R) opened up with the Skip volunteering to join him ...only to remember the tall guy pacing his run-up was Bedford quickie Idnan. Gulp.
Sadly, the guy at the other end was arguably even harder to score off.
Result? A painfully slow opening stand off three for 0 off four overs (all runs wides).
It was only when the Skip actually tried to hit the ball that he got out...for six in about the eight over. Score: 30 for 1.
Enter Abid, armed with his trusty bat and usual bagfuls of advice for anyone who'd listen.
A stand of 62 was the result but with Cincers needing to get a move on post a competitive total against Bedford's strong batting line-up.
Behzad, who made his debut against London Saints in June, smashed one glorious six then lost his off stump.
Test Match strode on, passing 50 but then went for one boundary too many and was bowled.
That left Jack and Richard de Q to light the fireworks.
Playing his best at the crease for many an innings, Jack posted 24 - including a superb maximum over long on. Shot of the season so far.
Hockney expert Richard had Bedford's bowlers tearing their hair out as he smashed three sixes and an extraordinary four to square on the off-side off a near full-toss.
Even so, we needed 39 extras from Bedford to post 194 for six off 35 - a decent total but with unknown bowlers to come, may be not enough against Bedford.
We were also hampered in the field after Dee did his groin in going for a quick single (may have been the one that got Jack run out. Can't remember).
New recruit Jon Reed opened up the bowling, with 1 for 13 off three but hung his head in shame when his wicket came off a double-bouncer.
Fellow newboy Zeeshan looked good till he broke down in his second over, leaving Abid to take up the strain.
Bedford were always up with the rate, with skipper Richard Sharpe dealing in boundaries with close support from partners Dom and Sunil.
As they racked up the runs, it was more than just wounded pride for Cincers.
Keeper Jack took a fearful blow to the face standing up to brother Test Match's off-spinners.
He had to leave the field for a few overs.
While he was off, stand-in keeper Zeeshan took a blinding catch to dismiss Richard Sharpe for 42 - a vital break-through.
Richard de Quintal's quick skidders accounted for two Bedford men but no-one expected newcomer Mohammad to deliver the game almost into Cincers' hands.
Coming on a fourth change, the bowler (found by Cincers' man Sean Moloney, for the record) steamed in a very lively pace to finish with 2 for 10 off seven (both wickets clean-bowled).
So what went wrong?
Well, we needed just one or two more bowlers to keep it tight.
Instead, the Skip went for glory. The rest was history...
(Game played on Sunday, July 3)

Max bows out with maiden 50 in tight run chase but Cincers fall short in Kiwi contest

2010-07-28T21:44:00.011+01:00

He saved his best till last. Pity Cincers' tail end couldn't quite do the same.
On Max's last outing as a a Cincinnatian at Greenwich Park before he returns to his native NZ, the homesick Kiwi did us proud.
For all his time with Cincers, opener bowler 'Lord Rashbrooke' has been a humble 10 or 11. Like Rockie but with no moaning.
But for his final performance on home soil (he's touring in Croatia so not his last ever game) and with his bad back ruling out bowling, Max was promoted to number three.
My word, he rose to the challenge, A consummate 50, his first ever for Cincinnati, so nearly guided us to victory.
On a humid day in the park, he had only one failing - his sportsmanship and sense of fair play.
Getting a thin edge just after he reached his half-century, the Kiwi walked while umpire Test Match waited for confirmation it had carried. It had but Max was already on his way.
Ironically, the bowler Jack was one of his own countrymen.
The very game, our first against Grafton Lions, was set up to mark Max's departure as the Lions are a Kiwi side with a couple of rogue Aussies thrown in.
They're mates of Chris's...of whom, more later.
The day started nervously. Arriving at the ground, Cincers spotted the young, fit opponents - complete with girlfriend fans - and assumed the worst: humiliation.
The toss lost, we found ourselves in the field in a 35-over contest.
And guess what? The Lions were distinctly less frightening in the flesh, with Jim bowling as well as ever and Stuart steaming in as an Aussie does with the scent of Kiwi wickets in his nostrils.
No luck for him or for Jim to begin with as the Lions struggled for runs but didn't lose a wicket.
But then, it was Max's day.
He broke the deadlock by snaffling a lofted drive off Jim.
It wasn't long before he caught another, also off the big man. Nineteen for 2.
The Lions rallied a bit before the Skip made a fielding change (ok, it was Test Match's idea). He moved out of cover and put Sean there instead.
A lively Saturday night meant the County Clare man's eyes weren't fully open.
No matter. He took a smart catch to give Test Match his first wicket.
Rockie entered the fray, with his slow in-duckers driving opposing skipper Geoff round the bend.
It ended when the batsman played on. 57 for 4.
Sadly for us, the Kiwis panicked and sent two Aussies in. They made hay (the Skip retired after one over for 15!) and reached 172 (er, the scorebook is not clear but it was something like that).
It was not without controversy.
Jim appeared to be denied a nailed-on hattrick when Aussie tailender Miles nicked one behind.
Or so it sounded. He didn't walk. He wasn't given.
We ploughed on.
Earlier, Stuart had finally got one wicket when he deserved a couple more while Sean opened his eyes to take a blinder off Chris's, er, varied bowling. Apparently, it's all that hurling they do in Ireland. Makes them cats in the field.
It's rubbing off on the rest of us. The performance in the field was one of our best, with Keith and others saving plenty of runs out on the boundary.
Someone called Will was keeping wicket. Remember him?
He re-introduced himself which some fine glove work and a very smart stumping off Tom.
Test Match did the tea (enough pasta for a battalion and the delicious trademark Mrs Ross brownies).
Wickets - four for Jim, two for Test Match, one apiece for Stuart, Rockie, Tom and Chris.
Needing about five an over, Test Match and the Skip (no-one else would open) set off on the chase.
Three balls in, the Skipper decided to show off his fine judgement outside off and watched his off stump disappear behind him. Doh!
Enter the Max. Exit the Test Match - bowled by Lions' opener Jack whose quick arm was to prove Cincers' undoing.
Max arrived at the crease to a hastily-arranged guard of honour from his fellow Kiwis in the opposing side (thanks, lads).
He never really looked back.
Sound defence mingled with some punishing pull shots to set him on his way.
This was against possibly the finest spell of sustained, accurate bowling we've faced in many a day, by the way.
Only at one end were there any wides or no-balls.
But bit by bit, first with Tom partnering him and then with Keith, Cincers kept up with the pace.
Unwisely, though, Keith had earlier told the Skip he was in a rich vein of form. The 'Ballinasloe Basher', as he shall be called, duly perished for a hastily hit 14.
Will arrived. A year or so since his last game, he pretended that he'd forgotten how to bat.
But he was always one of the most powerful hitters in the side and he didn't take long to remember.
One drive back over the bowler's head was a straight as could be - right over middle for four.
It was all just going to plan.
But then, one of the few bad balls Lions sent down did for him - a half-track bouncer which umpire Test Match was about to signal as a wide until Will somehow got an edge trying to hit it into next week.
A setback. However, what's a setback when you have Jim in next?
For the next few overs, the big man combined with Max to send a shiver down the Lions' spines as with controlled hitting, the Cincers duo pressed on and kept up with the rate.
It was all going so well...until Lions' skipper Geoff pulled off a superb catch at short cover to send Jim on his way.
Still, we were in with more than a change. Max was still there. We were still up with the rate.
We also had Stuart, hero of a couple of rearguard actions already this season, to come.
But Lions' Jack was too good. Whipping them down, he did first for Max and then for Stuart.
Sean had earlier gone first ball (can't remember if the eyes were open or not).
Last two men at the crease - Rockie and Chris. Just under three overs left. 17 to win.
Tension. Oh, for a wide or a no-ball.
One over went by with hardly a run scored.
The penultimate started the same way.
But then off the last ball of the 34th, Chris struck gold. He hit an exquisite off-drive.
Hope revived. It went for four.
Last over. Nine needed.
Lions had run out of seamers. Back came their left-arm spinner who had gone for a few.
In a dastardly trick, he changed tack and came over the wicket. It was turning.
Rockie got a single off the first.
More tension. Chris took guard. He played and missed.
Then a stroke of luck. He still played and missed but the keeper did too. Four byes.
Two balls to go. Four to win.
Tragically, Chris did not manage another run and we ended four short.
Only later did Chris whisper that he thought we needed a six.
Ah. Perhaps that explains why he tried to hit the leather off it. Oh well.
A fine game against new, worthy opponents.
But above all, a magnificent send-off for Max.
He'll be with us on tour of course but that's him signing off as a UK-based Cincer as he heads back to Wellington.
Or is it?
Rockie, his traditional tour room-mate, has other ideas. 'He'll be back,' said the Sage of Southend sniffing the air.
If that 50 on Sunday is anything to go by, here's hoping!
:: Our picture shows the Hare and Billet post-match celebrations - left to right: Test Match, Chris, Max, the Skip, Tom and Rockie.

Aux armes, citoyens!

2010-07-19T15:08:00.005+01:00

Our picture shows our two gallant French (well, Anglo-French) imports preparing for their first-ever innings yesterday in Whitstable.
They are the new Wright brothers - sons of Mark's brother Paul and born-and-bred in Paris.
Charles (on the left) adopts a traditional upright stance. John favours the Father Times-style pioneered by Mark.
They both performed heroically.
Two Legion d'Honneur medals in the post!

Jim goes berserk by the sea..... to help brave under-strength Cincers cling on for a draw

2010-07-19T12:43:00.011+01:00

Mambo Number 5 was playing on Jim's car stereo as he motored down to the seaside but it was Magic Number 5 he gave us yesterday at the wicket.
The big man blitzed Whitstable Labour Club's hitherto miserly bowling to all corners of the ground in one of - no, the finest - displays of controlled hitting by a Cincinnatian.
Eleven fours, four sixes he smote. Some of them went so high they came down with snow on them on a mid-July day with the Kent sun blazing.
Even Brisbane Joe in his pomp would have been left in the shade.
Jim took us single-handedly from the position of a fairly hopeless run chase to within touching distance of victory.
Not just for a few balls . He kept us there for over after over.
But when a wicket fell (Rockie's, if you must know) and with tail end exposed, the batting hero bowed to the Skip's pleadings.
Selfishly, he gave up the prospect of a thrilling century to bat out the remaining balls and stride off 86 not out.
Amazing.
The day dawned with Cincers fielding only six regulars - another week of last-minute phone calls to get anything approaching a full team.
Our generous opponents gave us one player, Peter, while Mark produced his Anglo-French nephews Charles and John plus local lad Jack. Finally, Test Match persuaded Andrew - slip-catching hero of last year's bout v. Weasels - to play.
Plus, the Captain was just out of three days in bed with food-poisoning and was living off dry toast.
Time game rules in Radfall, near Whitstable, with the Labour Club winning the toss and batting.
For the first time in recorded Cincers' history, the Skip opened with his (variable) leggies with Jim steaming in at the other end.
No joy for either initially on a decent, lowish but consistent bounce wicket untiil Whitstable's Peter (their man, not ours) pulled the Skip loftily to Jim's safe hands behind square.
Spirit of Portugal, banished!
Thereafter, we struggled a bit until Test Match's swingers started hooping. He had Whitstable skip Richard (38) snared off a lofted straight drive by, well, who else? Jim.
Two full swinging deliveries got two men for 0 and Rockie got rid of Whitstable's young opener A. Garvey for a finely-made 42.
Jim removed the swashbookling Joey for a swift 31 and it was looking good...until the Skip brought himself back on.
First over, fine. A nice leggie and some superb keeping from Tom produced a sharp stumping and a late wicket.
But the Skip's next over went for 20 - a mixture of bad balls, casual fielding and sharp dropped catch that skipped on for a 4. Rubbish all round.
That left Cincers needing 183 off an estimated 35 overs after tea.
The plan? We always have a plan these days.
Test Match opened with the Skip, with the aim of surviving the openers and laying a platform for Jim and Tom.
All went well to begin until Test Match was well caught at mid-off by Richard in the seventh over for 10.
Tom arrived and we didn't lose another wicket until the 17th over. Problem was, we weren't scoring enough runs either.
The Skip eventually perished (or was that, collapsed?) for a painful 4, proving once again that if you can't find a fielder, give him a call - he finds them with every shot.
Another wicket went down. Jack was bowled.
But enter Jim to begin his best knock yet for Cincers.
With at least seven an over needed, he started carefully then got off the mark with a four. The rest was history.
On the way, Tom perished for a valuable 34.
But others came to partner Jim, including Peter and Rockie. The runs piled up over by over.
Rockie particularly made sure the big man got the strike for the start of several overs in a lengthy stand.
Whitstable looked worried. One fielder even suspected we'd drafted him in from a county first XI.
'Is this guy one of your regulars?' he asked the Skip now umpiring.
The crunch. Five overs left - 42 needed. Five wickets left but with a fragile tail featuring Mark's Parisian nephews (cricket knowledge limited), Andrew and Mark himself.
We faltered. Ony four off the next over.
Then, crucially, Rockie was bowled.
We still hoped but with M. Charles Wright getting run out, there was a real danger of Whitstable's very accurate bowling brothers Ed and Joey (same surname, must be brothers!) skittling us to get a late victory.
The Skip intervened to ask Jim to put the brakes on with us needing 29 off the last three.
If he'd got out going for glory, it would have been curtains for Cincers.
So the game was drawn, another very fine match at Radfall but then for some reason, they always are.
Very game opposition, a friendly welcome and brilliant weather.
Thanks to Peter, Jack, Andrew, Charles and John for helping us out.
Thanks to Whitstable Labour Club CC for a great day.
But above, Magic Number 5, please take a bow!

'Get up and run!' yells Selfish but late brownies arrival leaves Cincers on the deck

2010-07-05T21:21:00.010+01:00

They're like cavalry coming over Cincers' hill. They were freshly baked on the day. They tasted as delicious as ever.
Just one problem. They came too late.
Cincers' traditional supply of brownies, baked by Test Match's better (and we do mean better) half Amy, has powered us to many a fine victory.
But on Sunday at Greenwich Park against the mighty Finchley, the moist, magic morsels arrived after we had started our innings.
Tea had been taken. Selfish and Test Match were already at the crease.
Only the Skipper managed to scoff one before he went out to umpire.
Result? We lost.
In reply to Finchley's 213 for 7 off 36, Cincers got as far as 162 before keeling over, all out off 30.1 overs.
Selfish got 48, Stuart struck a promising 23 but that was more or less it.
The wickets tumbled even while the brownie tin stayed (almost) unmolested next to the scoreboard.
Expecting the full force of a Finchley Second Eleven (due to a mix-up their end), the Skip had negotiated a face-saving, time game format.
As it happened, our opponents sent down a team largely made up of Colts. Young ones. The sort of players that can bend down quickly and stop the ball. In our terms, cheats!
Imagine the shock, then, when we start very strongly against their batting.
Two astonishing catches - one by Abid at mid-on and a remarkable slip catch by Test Match - had the 'kids' reeling.
Dan had already snaffled a fine chance at mid-off, the first of Stuart's three well-deserved wickets in a powerful opening spell of nine overs.
At the other end, the accurate, crafty medium-pacers of Frank (drafted in from FInchley to help us out as usual) had even Finchley's star player - Aussie youngster Nick - struggling to find his touch.
Sadly, he soon found it, first guiding, then hitting, his team to a big score.
Our ground fielding was nowhere near as sharp as our catching and there was a fair amount of disarray with Finchley stealing singles almost at will. Not good.
Frank, who had pulled off a smart caught and bowled, was reduced to sledging his own fielding side.
He did get some revenge on young Nick.
Brought back by the Skip towards the innings' end (after his own leggies went, well, the way they often do - over the boundary), he bowled Nick on 98.
In reply, Cincers did start well, with Selfish picking off the bad balls along with punishing the odd good one.
Problem was the bowling. They aim at the stumps, these lads.
Hence Test Match's departure early on for 10 after one swung in and messed up his wicket.
Alex B showed his usual languid, left-hand promise until he got one that didn't bounce.
Before that, he also got one from Selfish - a hammered straight drive that hit him on the hand and left him sprawling at the non-striker's end.
Dazed and confused, all he could hear was a yell of 'Get up and run!' as Selfish belted down the wicket, clearly outraged that Alex had stopped him getting a four.
Dan struck one mighty straight six before also perishing to a grubber and heads went down when Selfish was caught and bowled for 48.
The heads went back up again when Stuart arrived, even though JP and Jack (first game for him and it's July! Censured!) had just come and gone fairly cheaply.
He played some great shots, first with Alex W as a partner and then with the Skip.
Just when we started to hope, he holed out.
Abid and the Skip looked as though they would hold out with about eight overs left but the Skip played too early and popped one up for silly mid-off catch (one of his favourite dismissals, that. Complilation video to follow).
Frank, who had been fielding for the oppo (did I mention they only had nine players? Better not), was out first ball. No sledging at that point. All over.
We ended up 51 runs short.
Some stats: Stuart 3 for 28 off 9, Frank 2 for 38 off 10, Tim 1 for 40 off 7, Abid 0 for 38 off 5, Selfish 1 for 30 off 3 and the Skip 0 for 25 off 2.
Other batting: Alex B 15, Dan 12, JP 4, Jack 4, Alex W 14, the Skip 9, Frank 0 and Abid 0 not out.
:: Our picture shows a plate of delicious brownies pausing for breath on their way to Greenwich Park on Sunday.

Selfish goes on strike at the crease but Cincers still thump Saints by 166 runs

2010-06-21T18:43:00.005+01:00

Selfish turned militant union shop steward at the crease yesterday to down tools in a first-ever strike by a Cincinnati batsman.
The Welsh (batting) wizard was left fuming after his first century of the season (well, first for a couple of years, to be honest) apparently went unnoticed by scorer Rockie.
The one-over dispute mattered little on a day when Cincers racked up the runs - 252 for 2 off 35 - to humble opponents London Saints who could only muster 86 in reply.
Saints arrived with grim memories of previous encounters with our opening batting partnership of Selfish and Test Match.
They didn't disappoint.
The 100 partnership came up in the 19th over, with both looking impregnable but with Selfish especially plundering the accurate but gentle Saints attack.
But as Simon neared (reached? passed?) his century mark, controversy erupted.
Despite the Skip sharpening the scorebook pencil before start of play at Dulwich on Sunday, Graham was accused of missing a trio of Bevan boundaries.
Result? Selfish raised his bat to mark his 100 to be met by confused looks from Rockie who had him on only 85.
Outraged, Bevan balloted himself on strike action and then played out an entire over without scoring a run.
The industrial action was lifted only after ACAS, sorry, the Skipper politely asked Selfish to return to work.
But the strike upset Test Match's rythym and he was promptly bowled for an impressive 57.
Shortly after that, Selfish grudgingly celebrated his 'official' 100 but then cheered up and sportingly retired on 104 approx. not out.
However, he later discovered that Rockie had marked it down as 'retired out'. That won't help his average.
On a coolish day, Cincers, who'd won the toss, pressed on. Test Match was bowled for an impressive 57 to leave us on 167 for 1.
But Tom and Asim - borrowed from BK - provided the fireworks to add 73 off the last five overs.
Tom went berserk with a bat borrowed off Cincers' Naveed to whack 47, including a towering six that clobbered the portable scoreboard.
Saints got off to a slow but steady start but Abid, opening up, soon made inroads - to begin with, thanks to a blistering catch at gully by Tom.
From then on, the wickets came steadily with Abid finishing on three for 16 off 7 (including a sharp catch by Naveed to dismiss the Skip's mate John).
Rockie took 2 for 30 off 7 but were the Scorebook Gods punishing him when JP missed a skier which would have given him a third wicket? Probably.
The Skip risked a nosebleed by returning figures of 3 for 15 off 5, including two in two - including one 'hit wicket'. New keeper Afzal also took a smart stumping for the Skip's third when Hasan (technically on our books but playing for Saints) came down the wicket.
Just before the end, Test Match's Amy arrived with freshly-baked brownies to power Cincers over the finishing line.
It was all over after 24 overs.
Other bowling figures: Naveed 1 for 1 off 2, Asim 1 for 2 off 2 and Sean - making his Cincers bowling debut - a nervous but brave 0 for 18 off 1.
Thanks to Saints for a great day.
:: Pictured above - our batting trio of Tom, Test Match and Selfish with the (dented) scoreboard.

Cincers come up short after no-show by three players and Vice-Skip gets toothache

2010-06-14T11:43:00.013+01:00

Cincinnati fell 41 runs short yesterday in a thrilling encounter with the old enemy, BK.
In a high-scoring game at Greenwich Park, Selfish scored a blistering 66 - probably his quickest 50 yet for Cincers - while Adam showed again he's a class bat with a cultured 55.
But the match ended when Ed was run out to one of the Skip's trademark suicide singles - the 'I've hit it so it's a run' reflex which has cut short many a stay at the crease.
But the game only went ahead with the generosity of BK after three of our men simply failed to show.
We knew we'd be down to 10 as JP had toothache.
We didn't know that Adnan, Khan and a new player would not turn up.
Just before the toss, they were supposed to be on their way but it was never quite clear if they were on their way to Greenwich Park.
BK had very kindly loaned us fielders and eventually turned the game into a nine-a-side as the three musketeers never materialised.
The Skip lost the toss and BK's Max opted to bat in a 40-over contest.
Cincers actually took the field with six players as Sudeep had also been held up.
Big Jim, making his debut for the season (hello, mid-June!) was immediately on the spot but without luck.
Ed opened up at the other end and soon had BK opener Simon LB (for the second time, some thought!).
But BK were soon piling on the runs at an impressive rate - partly helped by our depleted bowling resources.
Fielder Ripal took a fine catch off Selfish to remove opener Asim.
Enter the Skip's flighted leggies for what proved a traditional spell of carnage and lost hopes.
He was of the opinion - i.e. threatened to go to judicial review - that he had Gaurav banged to rights for LB. It wasn't given. Boundaries then flowed.
Tom came on and stemmed the tide, and Selfish put paid to Gaurav (for 50) with a nice slower ball.
But BK's Ferhan (56) and Pete (42) still plundered the runs until Pete departed for his classic red mist dismissal against the Skip - stumped smartly by Adam.
BK finished on an impressive 253 for 7 off 40 with Selfish the pick of the bowlers with 2 for 20 off 8. Bit expensive for him.
Ed bowled very well - before his arm went - with 1 for 34 off 6 and Sudeep coming on towards the end for his first Cincers' spell had 1 for 14 off 2.
The rest of us went round the park a bit.
Even Jim - 0 for 49 off 8. Tom had 1 for 59 off 8 and the Skip's figures were 1 for 64 off 8. Miserly for him.
A fine tea - burgers from BK and rather nice spot of cake from Jim's wife Lucy - followed.
Selfish then tucked into BK's bowling with a vengeance. The pick of his shots was a glorious extra-cover drive and a straight drive that would have taken out the Skip umpiring had it not hit the non-striker's stumps.
Tom, opening up with Selfish, was left almost a spectator.
Cincers creamed past the 50 mark well on course until Simon was undone by a ball which lifted sharply.
The old adage - get one, get two - came true when Sudeep popped one up first ball to BK's Simon at short mid-wicket.
Tom perished for 12 before Adam and Jim settled in to give BK some serious stick.
That included a towering six from the big man before he was bowled leg stump.
JIm left confessing he had 'pre-meditated' the shot.
The batmen borrowed from BK were suitably Irish given the Skip's ancestry.
One - Keith - even comes from the same Ballinasloe neck of the woods as the Skip's forebears.
May be that's why he went for a duck but Sean - playing only his third innings ever - got 19, including a mighty six.
Adam eventually went to a sharp caught and bowled. When Sean went too, it left Cincers 51 runs short with only the last pair - Ed and the Skip - at the crease.
They put on 10 before the afore-mentioned daft single.
Cincers closed on 212 for 8 (all out) off 33.3 - not a bad effort, all considered.
Thanks again to BK for allowing the game to go ahead.
The moral of the day?
We're doing ourselves no favours by struggling to get players - even many so-called regulars - every week.
It's a cricket team, chaps, not just a social club.
Use it or lose it.

Batting heroes Alex and Adam put Actors to the sword as the Ham sun shines on Cincers

2010-06-08T23:01:00.002+01:00

Cincinnati notched up a fine win this weekend over Actors Anon in the first of our two encounters this year.
Not even Actors' demon opening bowler Sanjeev could prevent Cincers reaching 197 for 6 off 35 after we won the toss and batted first at Ham.
It didn't start well.
Test Match got a unplayable ball from Sanjeev which took the glove. He went for a duck.
The always unpredictable Ham wicket continued in a very nasty fashion with some of the best shots from Selfish and number three Alex B being their leaves.
Apart, that is, from an classic, lofted straight drive with which Alex deposited rival skipper Jamie over the ropes.
Selfish was just getting into his stride - two fours off consecutive balls - when, like Test March, he too copped a vicious lifter and was caught behind.
He walked. 'Thanks, Bat,' chorused Actors.
JP arrived and began the recovery with Alex, before drilling one to a fielder..atonishingly, in a backward point, gully-type position. Odd, that.
Enter Adam S, full of confident, 'got to be done' attitude.
What followed won us the match - a stand of 93 with Alex and Adam even seeing off the return of Sanjeev...to the relief of the Vice-Skip and new man James waiting to come in.
Adam had no idea he'd reached his maiden 50 for Cincers. Hence the sheepish flick of the bat by way of bemused acknowledgement of the cheers and applause from team mates.
Earlier, Alex had arrived at his first half-century for the club, achieved with first use of his new Salix bat.
Was it properly knocked in?
'It is now,' said Alex.
Right on cue, the Skip's aunt and uncle arrived - complete with opera glasses for Auntie, - to see him stride to the crease after Adam got out for 53.
Two overs, one ball left.
So what does he do with the first ball? Leaves it.
The opera glasses wobbled.
But in the next over, the Skip for once got runs in front of square, a cover drive for three through the ring of Actors who'd all come in expecting the traditional dribble round the corner for a streaky one. That'll learn 'em.
The shock of the shot took its toll on Alex. He was caught behind for 57, leaving James and the Skip to scramble a few and take us to 197.
After tea, Actors survived a few early chances and sadly, Max - returning after a long lay-off for injury - pulled up after just two overs.
Tim replaced him.
It was Sam who struck first, courtesy of a brilliant diving - or was it tripping? - catch by Alex W.
Then the Vice-Skip took a fine catch at gully, also off Sam.
Tim struck in a fine spell to remove the number 4 but the key wicket came when Sam bowled Sanjeev who had carved his way in fine style to 29.
Meanwhile, the Skip's first over ended in traditional fashion - a trio of boundaries and instant retreat.
Selfish replaced him, much to the frustration of Actors who couldn't get him away.
He finished on 2 for 8 off 7. Show off.
Alex W was given a spin at the other end. Among the wides and odd no ball, he shipped down a few of highly sharpish deliveries. Memo to coach Frank - one to work on for the winter.
In the meantime, Sam took a fine high catch at mid-on off Selfish.
The Skip brought himself back on after Alex and brought proceedings to a close - partly by combining with Test Match who caught the non-striker several miles out of his crease with a brilliant stop and calmly tossed the ball to the bowler who whipped the bails off.
There was also a couple of late wickets for the Skip's leggies, one caught at point by James and a juggling, almost-dropped caught-and-bowled.
No matter that one of the batsman was fresh out of knee surgery and could hardly walk. They all count.
Actors finished on 143 all out off 30.5 overs.
A fine game played in the usual Actors/Cincers'competitive spirit, including some sledging of umpire Andy by Alex W after a series of wides and no-balls were called.
Other bowling figures: Sam 3 for 39 off 7, Test Match 1 for 22 off 7, Alex W 0 for 29 off 5 and the Skip 2 for 16 off 2.5.

Caribbean smash 250-plus but storm clouds come to Cincinnati's aid at Greenwich Park

2010-06-08T22:39:00.004+01:00

One day, we'll beat them.
But for now, thank god for that late downpour that meant Cincers' first game against Caribbean for two years was abandoned.
When the rains came, we were perilously perched on 66 for 6 off 17.1 overs, chasing Caribbean's 268 for 9 off 35 overs at Greenwich Park.
That was gentle for them. Longer-serving Cincers are still scarred by the 375 for 5 off 40 Caribbean hit a few years back at Sevenoaks Weald.
But even this time (May 16), Caribbean started as they meant to go. Our first ball, or may be the second, disappeared for four.
The barrage continued even as the wickets fell.
Sam finished with 3 for 41 off 7 while Tom stepped up to the plate after the Skip bowled one over of juicy full tosses, took pity on the passers-by and took himself off.
Tom got 3 for 33 off 6 - highly respectable given the opposition.
Ed chipped in with a wicket as did new boy Khan with 1 for 38 off 7.
The tea that followed was heavy on the pork pies (from Ocado, caterer to the Skip who was providing his first spread ever).
But sadly, not heavy enough as Caribbean looked nimble in the field and hungry for wickets.
Selfish and Tom started like the proverbial train. Then both were derailed.
JP was run out for a duck, new boy Adnan was bowled for nought and Adam S holed out for 13......hooking.
'Got to be done,' he chirped to batting partner the Skip as he departed.
Er, why?
All that remained was for the Skip himself, a fine judge of his off stump, to leave one.
The off stump survived. Pity about the middle one, though.
Then it rained. Chucked it down. Deluge.
Thank you, Lord.

Craig nets record-breaking wicket haul but Cincers still crash on wicket from hell

2010-06-08T21:52:00.003+01:00

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.
It was certainly the worst of pitches, a threadbare, sandy outfield and a diabolical track served up by the rather pricey Regent's Park.
But Craig bowled himself into the club record books with an astonishing spell that completely bamboozled our old rivals BK and restricted them to just 128 all out.
On a freezing, cloud-covered day (May 9), the Yorkshireman took every single wioket to fall to a bowler, the other one being a run-out (BK had only 10 men).
But somehow, somehow, we contrived to lose.
BK's Max won the toss and opted to bat. Stuart, back from his long exile, and Test Match bowled tight, hostile spells without success. One chance went down when new man Alex W spilled a sharp one.
(Alex with his trademark quick fag before, after and sometimes during the action is picking up the mantle of the much-missed John Burgess).
BK were well over the 50 mark for no loss when Craig took his first wicket.
What followed will probably never be repeated in Cincers' history.
Apart from a run-out, he took the lot, five clean-bowled's, two caught's and one fine stumping from keeper (and fellow Tyke) JP.
But it wasn't over for the shell-shocked BK-ers.
Craig marched off and promptly told the bemused scorers to remove three runs from his figures, insisting they were leg byes.
The result: 8 for 20 off 7 overs, eclipsing even Test Match's stunning 7 for 56 off 15.2 overs at Whitstable in 2008.
One difference, though - in the Kent match, Test Match won us the game in a thrilling one-run victory.
In Regent's Park, Cincers miserably failed to do Craig's performance justice and were all out for 102 off 28 overs, with only a very late rally holding up BK.
Stuart batted superbly for his 30 not out, Alex W got 10 and last man Craig stubbornly held out for several overs to give Cincers faint hope of victory.
But earlier, not one of the top order reached double figures.
The Vice-Skip got a brute of a first ball while the Skip, normally capable of sticking around, was triggered LB by the Vice-Skip.
Cue a bad-tempered departure by the Skip whose mood as an umpire later one was not enhanced by JP shouting to Stuart and Alex 'Come on, lads, we can still do this!'
We ended 26 runs short.
Sorry, Craig.

Six-hitting Sinclair and BK's Pete get Cincers off to a winning start over West XI

2010-06-08T21:28:00.002+01:00

Cincers began the 2010 season in winnning style last weekend (OK - this report is a month late so use your imagination) with a triumph over our traditional opening opponents, West XI.
A chilly day at a new ground for both of us in Walthamstow began with the Skipper losing the toss and Cincers being put into bat in a 35-over match.
A decent batting line-up, with Selfish and Test Match opening up, looked poised to begin in classic Cincinnati style.....an early innings collapse that left us teetering on 59 for 5 off 17 overs.
Selfish, Test Match, new man Tarang and Tom all departed cheaply, leaving Pete - borrowed for the day - the only hope of a competitive total.
Enter the Skip with his full array of shots (forward defence and leave, anyone? Plenty to spare).
The unlikely combination of Pete's biffing and the Skip's nurdling brought up the first 50 stand of the year until Pete went for 34.
When the Skip went soon after for a monumental 11 and new man Sudeep holed out at mid-wicket, it was left to Ed Sinclair (back after a couple of seasons off with injury) and Sam to take us on.
Selfish, whose scoring had been largely confined to pencil and scorebook, then 'advised' the Skip to tell the lads to take it easy as there were several overs left.
'OK,' said Ed respectfully before hitting one of the non-Jim biggest sixes in the club's history - right over mid-wicket, sending a snoozing Test Match scampering for cover among the kitbags.
Ed finished up on 29, Sam on 16 and Cincers had somehow got to 170 all out off 32 overs.
West XI looked confident but they have a history of early season batting traumas. Why else do we play them in mid-April?!
Early breakthroughs by Sam and Ed were followed by a swing master-class from Test Match who took 4 for 12 off 3 before the Skip took him off to give someone else a go.
So no five for then...
Rick Bullock, another loaning from BK for the day, took two wickets for 11 and West XI were all done and dusted at 97 all out off 22.4 overs.
They want to play us later in the season next year wjem they've warmed up. Spoilsports.
* Other bowling figures: Sam 2 for 23 off 6, Ed 1 for 13 off 4, Craig 1 for 22 off 4, the Skip 0 for 11 off 3.

2009 Season - Results

2009-12-13T17:05:00.003Z

20 September - Bedford Row - Home - Won by 37 runs
6 September - New Barbarian Weasles - Away - Won by 154 runs
23 Aug - Finchley - Away - Lost by 46 runs
16 Aug - Actors Anon - Home - Won by 54 runs
9 Aug - Old Wimbledonians - Away (Raynes Pk) - Cancelled
26 July - Portugal Tour - Lost by 1 run
25 July - Portugal Tour - Lost by 5 wickets
19 July - Whitstable - Away - Draw - Whitstable 157-10; CCC 130-9
12 July - Village XI - Away - Cancelled
5 July - BK - Home - Lost by 5 wickets
28 June - Old Wimbledonians - Away (Raynes Pk) - Lost by 93 runs
21 June - Caribbean - Away - Cancelled
14 June - Saints - Away - Beer match - Won by 5 pints & a hattrick
14 June - Saints - Away - Won by 9 wickets
7 June - Actors Anon - Won by 5 wickets
23 May - JP's 40th
17 May - Finchley - Home - Lost by 62 runs
10 May - BK - Home - Lost by 125 runs
26 April - West XI - Away - Won by 46 runs
19 April - New Barabarian Weasels - Away - Won by 6 wickets

2009 AGM and annual awards

2009-12-13T16:57:00.003Z

Player of the year - Big Jim
Batsman of the year - Tim M
Bowler of the year - Selfish Bowler
Rock Award - Danny boy

Club officers all defended their patches successfully.

Final day triumph gives Cincers a winning season after Selfish and Jim put on a show

2009-09-21T14:23:00.008+01:00

Cincinnati closed our 10th anniversary season on a high yesterday with a thrilling victory over Bedford Row at Greenwich Park.
The 37-run success, with Big Jim and Selfish Simon starring as match-winning all-rounders and JP shining behind the stumps, means Cincers have won more games than we lost for the 2nd successive season.
But this was no push-over, with Bedford pushing us the way in a hard-fought contest.
The day dawned after an overnight deluge in (sought-after) south-east London left the normally bone-dry pitch damp and stodgy.
Big Jim eyed up the pitch and send 'Bat first, Skip'.
Whereupon the Skip promptly lost the toss and got inserted by opposite number Richard.
Selfish and the Skip opened, with the aim of establishing steady platform.
That was the intention. The Skip, though, saw some mates arrive to mark his birthday, waved madly and then set off for a suicidal single.
A direct hit by opposition keeper Stephen meant no happy returns to the non-striker's crease and the Captain trudged off in search of compensatory birthday cake. It came later.
A mini-collapse - Frank got a good-un and new-boy Nick was caught - left us on 17 for 3.
Bevan isn't called Selfish for nothing and he relished the chance to score all the runs.
Aided by Simon Hall, Selfish notched up his 50 while the entire team score was only 65.
But the partnership with Simon H was crucial, taking us toward the 100 until 'H' tried to hit out and was bowled.
May be he was distracted by repeated yells of advice from Nick, who despite playing his first game and getting a duck, continued to reproach the Cincers' batting from the sidelines. Bit like Ash but with technique.
No doubt to Nick's disgust, Selfish then holed out for 60
An otherwise good-spirited contest got a bit spicy when Be.dford's skip appealed for a caught behind off JP's bat by sprinting up to umpire Toby (a mate of the Skip's and the guy he was waving at when he ran himself out).
Toby was unimpressed. 'Not out'.
Meanwhile, Big Jim got into his stride whacking his way to 35.
Late on, Abid and Andrew put together a vital last wioket stand which brought us to 175 off 34 after the skip told Bedford that Andrew was totally new to cricket.
They promptly - and very sportingly - slowed the bowling down and Andrew smashed his first ball for four.
'Are you a con artist?' asked Bedford. 'Yes,' shouted a Cincer from off the pitch.
A fine tea - supplied by Selfish and Mrs Selfish (aka Kerry) - fortified us for the struggle ahead with Bedford needing 5 an over.
Big Jim and Sam opened up, initially without success.
But Jim has been in unstoppable form with the ball and soon removed the Bedford opener's middle stump with a perfect yorker that left the batsman on the floor and the stump likewise.
Another middle stump later and Bedford were struggling.
A flurry of boundaries helped them back up to the run rate while a difficult chance off Sam's bowling went down in the deep.
Enter Selfish who not only pegged the rate back but snaffled a wicket straight away - the key one of Bedford number 3 Tony who had played some sumptuous drives.
At the other end, Frank - who had struggled to control his swing - got in on the act by bowling oppo keeper and fellow Aussie Stephen.
Strangely, Frankie didn't do his usual 'on your way, mate' cheerio thing. Must be a 'fellow Antipodean code' rule.
Wickets continued to tumble, with Nick - 'come on, Cincers - we're better than this' (no, we're not) - doing the cheer-leading.
He also took two catches, the second off Abid a top-rate over-the-shoulder effort.
One wicket to go and about 50 to win but the light was fading.
So at one end, the Skip brought his whirling, loopy leggies on....and watched burly Bedford skip Richard whack one for 6.
Gulp! Is the silly fool going to lose us the game?
JP, standing in manfully for absent full-time keepers Jack and Adam, clearly thought so.
When the Skip finally got one to pitch and turn, he whipped the bails off to stump Bedford's last man Daniel.
Game over! Season ended! The victory we'd been after.
All that was left was for Selfish to unveil a surprise birthday cake for the Skip, complete with several bottles of sparkling shared with our rivals Bedford who were fine sports.
The bowling figures: Jim 2 for 14 off 6, Sam 0 for 32 off 7, Frank 3 for 34 off 7, Selfish 3 for 18 off 7, Abid 1 for 20 off 3 and the Skip 1 for 17 off 1.5 overs.
We rejoice and are glad.
Men of the Match: Selfish and Jim.
* Many thanks to Chris for fine fielding at square leg and for not throttling the Skip when he didn't get a bowl, to Abid for turning up at very short notice to make us 11 and taking a key wicket, and to newcomer Nick for heckling us and fielding like a pro.
And thanks to everyone this season if you played only one game or played them all.
More than 30 people played for Cincinnati this year, easily a club record.
We had 19 scheduled fixtures not including JP's 40th game.
One match - v. London Saints - included two games. Only one fixture during the season was cancelled due us not being able to field a side.
Two went west after cancellations by our opponents.
Final tally: won 8, lost 7, drawn one.
See you all - or as many that can come - at the AGM.
** Picture caption: a suitably blurred snap of the Skip and Vice celebrating their fine bowler/keeper double-act which brought the curtain down on the 2009 season.

Cincers snare Weasels in time game as Big Jim hits the button marked 'Magic!'

2009-09-11T18:42:00.008+01:00

Stand aside, Stuart Broad - we've got the new Flintoff and he's called Jim.
The big fellow rescued Cincers from the nightmare of defeat to Weasels last Sunday with a blistering 75 not out - his best so far for the team.
Then he topped it with his first-ever five-for to ensure we won a nerve-jangling time duel.
In another first, Test Match made his debut as keeper with none of our regular wickies available.
Weasels won the toss and put us into bat in a time game on a sandy, slow-looking wicket.
Selfish opened up with the Skip for company and proceeded to pick off the accurate but gentle stuff being served up.
We got to 40 before the Skip made a big mistake. He tried to hit one and was bowled for a dazzling two. The score was 40.
Weasels' opening bowler Ged (I think) later lamented: 'Didn't mean to do that. All I did was bring in a batsman.'
Enter Test Match but Tim didn't find the two-paced, bouncy wicket much to his liking.
Right after the Skip mused to the point fielder what a good player he was, he sliced one straight to the same fielder.
Dan came in but also didn't fancy the wicket. He was caught before fencing a slow lifter on the legside.
The order was specially rejigged for this game, partly to let Max have a go as it might, sob!, just might, be his last game for us.
The homesick Kiwi showed his gratitude. He got bowled for a duck.
To make matters worse, Selfish got caught down the legside after another 50 (they come round so often, it's hardly worth a mention).
Cincers were rocking at 92 for 5.
David Hughes, making his first appearance for us this season, then steadied the ship with debutant Simon Hall who looked a handy bat.
Right on cue, then, he whacked one to mid-wicket and departed. 100 for 6, which became 110 for 7 when David went for a valuable 16.
Weasels were licking their lips. Victory at last against Cincers looked on.
It looked even more on when Jim half-lofted one just out of reach to mid-on.
That left Dan from BK, who was helping Cincers out, with Jim.
Sadly for Weasels, Jim then turned it on.
Ably supported by Dan from BK - who was helping us out on the day - Jim went ballistic.
One poor guy came on to bowl and disappeared for 27 (4, 6, 6, 4, 6, 1). He didn't get another go.
But Jim followed it up by hitting the last over for 23, including a couple of head-high no-balls which he blasted for sixes.
Dan notched up a useful 15 - his highest score of the season.
Cincers finished on 206 all off 37.
That left us roughly 30 overs to nail Weasels and keep the season alive (so far, we'd won 6, lost 7).
Weasels started cautiously against Jim at one end and Max at the other. There was no chance of them getting the runs.
Had we left it too late? Should the Skip have declared earlier?
Then Andrew, a new signing playing his first game of cricket, pulled off an inspirational catch at first slip. With the ball dying on him, he somehow got his fingers underneath it.
17 for 1. That rapidly became 22 for 2 after Selfish, fielding under a lid close in on the leg side took a fine catch off Max.
Wickets continued to tumble until Weasels found themselves 27 for 6 with 20 overs to go.
Stout resistance then kicked in. The Skip came for three fruitless overs (we'll forget the dropped catch, David) and Max took a well earned break, replaced by Selfish who had been desperately windmilling his arms to attract the Skip's attention.
It worked. He came on and quickly took a wicket, a slightly contentious LBW which had the batsman storming off and chucking his bat down not once, but twice, in fury.
At the other end, Jim got his length and finally bowled the last remaining Weasel with five overs left of the day and with Weasels only just over the 50 mark. Victory!
Jim finished with 5 for 19 off 11, Max 3 for 23 off 9 (his best-ever figures) and Selfish refused to be left out with a ridiculously-measly 2 for 0 off 4. Yup, four maidens. The Skip's return was 0 for 6 off 3.
Many thanks for new boys Simon Hall and Andrew Goodson for turning out at short notice and to Dan from BK.
So that's 7 wins and 7 losses and one draw. Win our last match on September 20 and Cincers will have a winning season
Man of the Match: the Skip for arranging the fixture, letting Selfish introduce Jim to the club and for putting Andrew at 1st slip. (Only joking - it's Jim of course).

Ashes victory lifts gloom as under-strength Cincers come up short (again) at Finchley

2009-08-25T22:29:00.006+01:00

Nail-biting excitement, twists and turns, unbearable tension. Sunday's game had it all.
Pity all that was the Ashes at the Oval.
Up at Finchley, Cincers - admittedly minus key players moving house or soothing their aching back (Selfish and Lord Rashbrooke respectively) - were doing what we do best on that fine ground.....losing.
Not even Frank temporarily deserting Finchley for the day to play for us could end our poor run.
The Skip got the ball rolling by calling 'heads' at the toss. It was tails.
Finchley 3rds then tucked in to our bowling to rattle up 233 for 6 off 40.
Opposition skip Guy notched up his 50 and then said, did we mind him retiring as they had an important match next week?
We didn't. It was the only way we were going to get someone new on strike!
But then Test Match switched from seam to spin and quickly snaffled two for 30 off 8 - one of them a blinding slip catch from John 'my shoulder hurts' Pickersgill at first slip.
A taste of things to come? No. Sadly, JP spilled a sharp one of the Skip and Cincers still struggled to get break-throughs.
Frank had opened up at one end, economically but later, Rockie took a fair bit of stick on a lightening outfield.
Newcomer Mike Frame was wayward at first before falling over, banging his head and then taking two wickets (Note: we'll be practising this in the nets over winter).
Bowling figures: Frank one for 22 off 7, Tim 2 for 30 off 8, Mike 2 for 34 off 5, the Skip had one for 38 off 8.
For humanitarian reasons, it is better not to mention Rockie's figures or Chris's.
Oh go on, then - Rockie: none for 66 off 8. Chris: none for 25 off 2.
Tea - the traditional fine Finchley spread - was topped off with posh cake from Jack (yeah, right. Thanks Jodie).
But disastrously, the brownies were late. In fact, Test Match Tim didn't even know there were going to be any. Amy arrived with the trademark cake-tin just as Cincers were going in to bat.
Opening up was Biraj from BK - deputising for Selfish - and Test Match.
Decent start against tight bowling, with 45 off the first 10.
But Biraj perished off a short one.
Tom trotted in but the normally dynamic duo of Lowe and Test Match were becalmed against accurate fare from Finchley who were fielding a stronger side than they brought to Greenwich Park earlier in the season.
After 20 overs, we were still a run or two short of 80 - needing nearly eight an over off the last 20.
Sharp words from the Skip had failed to bring any hurry up but Tom and then - shock of shocks on his recent form - Tim M failed.
Frank came in at five and then we did hurry up. We started taking risks and putting their fielders under pressure.
In fact, the Aussie - in a gruff mood for some reason..hmmm...wonder why? - and Test Match almost got us back on track with the run rate.
But this is Finchley. We never win here.
Frank got caught behind and shortly afterwards, Test Match got run out.
The rest was history, including Tim M triggering Jack for LB despite having scoffed a fair bit of Jodie's cake not two hours before. His way of saying thanks.
We were slow with our overs and so were Finchley, meaning the match ended in gloom and inevitable defeat. Cincers finished on 187 for nine off 40.
Test Match top scored with 67 while Frank got 38.
Result: Cincers lost by 46 runs.
The morale of the tale?
Who cares! We won the Ashes!
* Cincers Man of the Match: Test Match for his two wickets, his 67 runs and his spat with the Skip about getting a move on.

Double brownies takes Cincinnati over the finishing line and Selfish over 2,000 runs

2009-08-18T23:39:00.008+01:00

Back to winning ways
Cincers put tour defeats behind them this weekend to notch an impressive victory against Actors Anon at Greenwich Park.
Selfish reached the extraodinary milestone of over 2,000 runs for the team in (almost) four seasons while Tim M wielded the formica to his second successive 50 at Greenwich Park.
Actors acting (no pun intended) skip Jamie won the toss and put Cincers in a 35 over contest in very warm sunshine.
Problem. Test Match had been up all night as the flats above were leaking water into his.
Happily, Amy's brownies - a double helping, no less - were unaffected but the Skip had to get the pads on to resume his old opening role with Selfish.
Note: the Vice-Skip was absent with an injured shoulder. 'I've been dropped.' No, you had an injury. See you next week.
Anyway, the Skip rapidly realised that with Actors comes Sanjeev. He bowls at about 70-odd mph.
Oh dear. Selfish played him superbly and the Skip survived a few off him, including a rather fine backward cut (guess who's writing this rubbish).
It didn't last long. After seven overs, Sanjeev shivered the Skip's timbers bringing Tom to the crease.
He looked on form. More than that, he hit a sparkling cover drive. Through the offside. Yes, the offside. All along the ground.
Tragedy. He then edged one behind on 17 and did what is now known as a Whitstable Walk - so named after Tom walked at Whitstable last month before coming back and querying the dismissal.
This one involved a scenic route out to square leg, a sharp left and then a pointed glance back at the umpire. Who was unmoved.
Enter the Shelving. Tim M is on sparkling form for Cincers.
He soon began spanking the ball to all corners while Selfish powered his own way back into form, punishing the over-pitched ball on a lightening quick outfield.
Actors have a good attack but were probably a bowler short on the day.
Selfish passed 50 without a murmur of applause from Cincers looking on. Not even an acknowledgement from the Meerkat hunched over the scoreboard.
He then passed 2,000 runs for the team since joining in 2005. Still nothing.
Eventually, clapping broke out for Selfish's 63rd run. A new milestone to be marked throughout the cricketing world.
The emotion got to Selfish who promptly got out for 65.
Shelving was joined by Test Match, and the two took Cincers to an impressive 212 for 3 off 35. Shelving finished on 62 not out (he does play for another side but he doesn't get out for Cincers) and Test Match ended on 28 not out.
Tea. What a tea. A joint production by Amy and Test Match. Sumptuous.
Oh god, we've got to take the field. May be one more brownie.
What followed was a curate's egg. Good bowling mixed with dross, not helped by a rather sharp interpretation of the wides rule.
New player Inam - courtesy of Abid - struck a vital early blow removing Actors' Turner who has hurt Cincers in the past.
Then Max bowled a beauty to remove batsman Flood.
Actors revived with number three Sanjeev - he of the quick bowling - smashing his way to 23 until bowler Test Match combined with point fielder Tom to remove him.
Max chipped in with another while the Meerkat put in an impressive spell of 2 for 31 off 6, including the key wicket of oppo skipper Jamie for 35.
Wides, loads of them, marred the performance even allowing for hasty signalling from the umpires.
Actors' Richard tried to wind up one of our number by quipping that the bowling was 'too cr*p to hit' or some such. 'Just a bit of sledging,' the batsman chuckled.
But keeper Adam put in another polished performance by removing batsman Knox with a fine stumping off Craig.
The Skipper brought himself on with nine down and bowled one ball.Owzat! LBW.
Actors were all out for 163 but including 27 wides.
You can't blame the brownies. You can NEVER blame the brownies!
* Man of the Match - Selfish for a superb innings and congratulations on an extraordinary milestone of 2,000 runs.
** Quote of the Day - Tom. 'Skip, I think you should open all the time, with me at 3. You can blunt the openers but I'm always guaranteed to get in fairly early.' Thanks, Tom.
** Other bowling figures: Inam 1 for 21 off 4, Test Match 2 for 25 off 4, Craig 1 for 40 off 6, Abid 1 for 11 off 2.

A damn close run thing - Cincers fall at the last hurdle in thrilling finish to 2009 tour

2009-08-18T22:45:00.011+01:00

Whoever said it was easy.
Cincers looked like a deflated balloon at the end of this thrilling duel in the sun.
Day Two of the tour, and this time, Cincers had only a short drive from Cartaxo to the ground.
Still not on time. Big Jim was greeted by one of our opposition - Prebensen, an Indian side from a local factory - with a unique welcome. 'Hello. You are very late.'
The toss again went Cincers' way but this time, the Skip put in the opposition in - mindful of the batting performance the day before and of the night on the tiles in Cartaxo the night before.
That included Big Jim failing to gain access to the one and only nightclub, much to the disgust of veteran clubber JP.
'He who hesitates is lost,' the Vice-Skip observed of Jim's halting attempt to gain entry.
And so the cricket.
Max and Sledger opened up for Cincers, with Jim clearly bruised from his club rebuff.
Sledger took an early wicket before Lord Rashbrooke got in on the act by bowling the opposition skipper and the number four.
But at the other end, opener Amrit began smashing his way to a formidable 80.
In the field, Cincers had a so-so game, with the odd chance going down or - in the case of one skier that landed near the Skipper - not being chased in the first place.
When he came on, Big Jim bagged two - including the key wicket of Amrit off a smart catch by keeper Jack.
This being Portugal, there was the odd language difficulty.
In particular, the Skip's frenzied 'on the boundary, please!' was clearly not in the team phrase book as one of his floaters disappeared for a six over someone's head.
(You know who you are. Please now hang it in shame.)
But Jack took a brilliant stumping off the Skip who got another one bowled.
The Chairman came on to take a wicket in his second over to leave the oppo all out for a formidable 210 off 37 overs.
Jim had 2 for 43 off 8, Max 2 for 34 off 8, Frank 2 for 42 off 8 while Tim had one for 42 off 4, with his wicket coming off his very first ball.
The Skip took 2, for 41 off 5 while the Chairman had one for 1.1 overs.
The Meerkat, formerly known as Rockie, left the fielding lamenting that he hadn't had a bowl.
His time was yet to come.
Tea/lunch was, if anything, even better than Day One with a Portuguese fish pie by Mrs Buccimazza and far too much good stuff to go with it.
When Cincers replied, it was a case of oh so near.
Selfish went - for him - early again after getting unluckily caught down the legside for 17.
But Test Match, wounded by his duck the day before, turned on the skill to hit a superb 69.
He was ably supported by the Vice-Skip who took the odd blow but racked up 26 before getting bowled.
Dan holed out for one but enter the Meerkat to give more than valuable support.
Just when it looked as though Test Match would be there till the end, he was caught behind.
Tragically, there followed two run-outs and just a single from Big Jim, leaving the Meerkat and Max to take us right to the wire.
Three balls to go and four needed. Oh dear, Max holes out after a brave 17.
The Skip comes in.
Four off two. The Meerkat hits the penultimate ball for a scrambled couple.
Two off one for victory. One for a tie.
Cruel game, this.
For probably the first time in his cricketing life, the Meerkat goes back to one and...is bowled!
Cincers lose by one run off the last ball.
Pandemonium as the oppo go wild. Cincers look devastated. We were.
But well played to the Meerkat for a thrilling 33 that took us so close.
Still, beer in the pavilion, a presentation - of a Warsop Stebbing new ball to the victorious opposition skip - and farewell thanks to Sandy and Fatima Buccimazza for hosting us.
The traditional end-of-tour dinner in the Cartaxo hotel featured tour awards, with special citations to Dan for his battling performance on Day One, and for Big Jim for his bowling.
Test Match and the Meerkat were suitably toasted for Day Two's tremendous batting performance but Man of the Tour award went to Max for a fine opening burst and fine all-round effort.
Pass the port.
* Picture caption 1: Big Jim pretends the Albergaria scoreboard is a nightclub bar after being refused entry the night before
* Picture caption 2: 'Does anyone know where the cricket pitch is?' Our dynamic minibus team of Test March and the Meerkat grimace, sorry, grin for the camera.

Helicopter stops play but Cincers lose their way in the heat of the Portuguese sun

2009-08-18T21:25:00.013+01:00

Another year, another historic tour for Cincers.
The team travelled the furthest yet in the desperate search for a win - 1,000 miles south of Greenwich Park to a cricket pitch deep in the interior of Portugal via Lisbon.
With vines and olive trees as a backdrop, the Oeiras Cricket Club at Albergaria near Cartaxo on a hot Ribatejo afternoon is about as far as you can get from Caribbean at Tooting under leaden skies.
Sadly, the result was pretty similar but the experience was unforgettable - with fantastic hospitality and welcome from club president Sandy Buccimazza and his wife Fatima.
Day One dawned bright and fair with Cincers setting off in convoy from Lisbon to the pitch, after a slight hitch with the minibus.
There wasn't one. At least, not at the pick-up location in the city. Test Match and Rockie - the anointed driver - had to zip off to the airport to get a replacement.
That done, the team in three vehicles took to the high road for the ground, about 40 miles up the river Tejo from the capital.
Intriguely, Rockie's route involved almost coming off the A1 motorway as soon as he'd got on to it and treating his passengers to a fascinating tour of the backstreets of Lisbon before rejoining the main road one junction on.
And touring wouldn't be touring without one nervous breakdown for the Skip after the minibus missed the turn-off for the ground and arrived - after a car was despatched by the opposition to find it - about 45 minutes after everyone else.
No matter. The Skipper won the toss and put Cincers in.
Test Match, whose credit card had guaranteed the minibus to the tune of 2,000 euros, had obviously focused on helping Rockie avoid scratching the behemoth ('Rockie, the ditch! Avoid the ditch!') and not on his batting.
He got out, for nought.
There then followed a doughty stand against some very fine Oeiras bowling between Selfish and 'Sledger' (some of you know him as Frank) which took us to a healthy 46 before Sledger departed for 29 with the score on 46.
Seventeen runs later, Selfish went too.
In the meantime, Dan set about compiling the highest score for Cincers of 39 in a courageous innings - not least as the Oeiras change bowlers seem decidedly quicker than the openers.
Wickets tumbled in the middle order until Rockie and Max staged a minor revival at the close but Cincers 129 for 8 off 35 was never going to be enough.
In between, the Skipper - ever one for breaking new ground - became the first Cincer to pull away from the strike because a helicopter - dousing a fire in a neighbouring field - was in his line of vision
Just as well. He went to score.......three.
The sumptuous tea - more like a full-blown lunch - with home-made pastries, salads and cakes as well as beer and espresso - took Cincers' mind off the mountain to climb.
Oeiras's generosity in the pavilion was not matched in the field as they put on over 50 before losing a wicket.
A mean spell by Big Jim - three for 24 off seven, including one courtesy of a fine catch by the Vice-Skip - left him the only Cincers bowler to make much of an impression though the Chairman took one for 19 off four and Rockie - henceforth to be known as the Meerkat for his er, idiosyncratic run-up, one for 23 off three.
Oeiras, sportingly led by their skipper Nic Green, eased over the line with five wickets to spare.
Cincers took the hiding like men and handed Oeiras a replica of the Ashes trophy as a momento.
We should have given them a nice engraved trophy too but that stayed in Clapham and missed the flight over.

Whistable Labour Club v CCC

2009-07-21T20:18:00.009+01:00

Cincinnati had two causes for celebration last weekend: a fine half century from founder member Mark Wright and a gritty draw earned in a timed match against Whitstable Labour Club.

Several CCC regulars toasted Mark's 50* on Saturday night in Whitstable where - possibly in a sign of growing maturity in the CCC ranks - no injuries were picked up in this year's party games.

Come early Sunday afternoon, Cincinnati players took up their usual starting positions in the field. We made the perfect start when the WLC opener hit Rocky's first ball to square leg where debutant Ben took a good catch. Our opponents then made steady progress with John Butterworth hitting a stylish half century. But wickets fell quite regularly throughout the innings. The Skipper, with the wind and slope behind his flighted leggies, took 3 wickets; Selfish, uphill and into the hurricane, got two. Tom pitched in with one before our Whitstable regular, Roger, finished things off with 2-8. WLC closed on 157 all out.

The innings will surely go down in CCC folklore as the day we finally found a solution to Tom's tendency in the covers to throw in the ball a good few yards over the keeper's head: posted on the deep point boundary, he returned the ball right over the bails to earn us a vital run out (after a dramatic one-handed misfield, of course).

Following a high-quality tea, the Wright Bros - Mark, Steve and Paul from Paris - led the CCC response. Steve in particular displayed great determination in the face of 10 overs of angry medium pace from the WLC opening bowler. Selfish contributed 41 to the middle order before making way for Jack, JP and an admirably disciplined Tom.

With the run rate creeping up, a draw seemed a safe back-up option for CCC. After all, we had 4 wickets in hand with just four overs to go. A trip to Whitstable would not be complete though without a nail-biting finish. A mini collapse - including Tom walking for a catch off his forearm for 28 - left our final pair in the middle with two overs to bat out.

Rocky danced his way through the penultimate over to leave the Skipper to face the last 6 balls. Bren heroically blocked us to the safety of a draw - a good result that leaves us undefeated in 4 trips to Whitstable.

Man of the match was the Skipper for a Montyesque display of accurate spin bowling and match-saving batting.

Shelving O'Moynihan tucks into BK for a brilliant 97 n/o but Cincers go hungry

2009-07-07T22:52:00.007+01:00

A stunning 97 not out from Tim Moynihan rescued Cincers from another humiliation at the hands of BK on Sunday.
The formica-flashing Moyners despatched the fine BK bowlers to all corners of Greenwich Park to register his best knock yet for the team and give Cincinnati hope after another faltering start to the innings.
Sadly, it was all in vain as BK triumphed for the second time this season.
For once, the Skipper took advantage of winning the toss to put us in.
Unfortunately, Test Match departed in the first over to a snorter from BK's Rashid (Test Match walked after gloving it) while the bowler was also too good for Ash.
Cincers' pinch-hitter departed for a duck.
Newcomer Rick introduced himself at number three with the cultured shots of a batsman.
What a day, then, for JP to give his first LBW since the Romans pulled out.
'I felt sick in my stomach,' said the Vice-Skip. Not as sick as the Skip felt standing at square leg.
Rick, though, was right in front and left with no grumbles.
Enter the Shelving. The Mighty Moyners - bruised by being dropped by his other club -meant business.
Just as well. The rest of us didn't until Abid joined him with seven wickets down for an innings-saving partnership.
In the meantime, Ash made up for his duck by triggering two Cincers when he umpired - both LB!
BK insisted both were out but it'd be nice if Ash's finger hadn't shot up almost before Mr Ball met Mr Pad.
Abid finished with 34 before perishing to a fine catch by BK's Simon at cover.
Tim M battled on to finish just 3 short of his century. He'd stopped counting at 50!
The 176 total off 35 overs was probably never going to be enough against BK's powerful batting line-up.
Add to that, BK's Dan (well, his wife actually) served up a tasty tea - augmented by the world-famous brownies provided by Amy (aka Mrs Test Match) - to slow us down in the field.
But Cincers started superbly. Test Match, the first slip formerly known as Lurpak, picked up a stunning catch off a lifter from Max.
Ironically, the man out was Biraj who scored a 50 in Cincers' colours earlier in the season.
The wicket was a false dawn as Asim, his opening partner, carved his way to 40.
The Skip dropped him, a sharp chance at shortish (no jokes, please) midwicket off Max.
A bowling change brought Rick on with his leggies and brought Asim down to earth, caught at backward square off a mishit. The catcher? Old Bucket-hands himself - Max.
The Skip chipped in with three overs for 11 but no wickets as did Rockie (none for 19off 3).
All the while, Simon pressed on though not at his best (thank God after his three sixes off the Skip earlier in the season), with the odd edge flying up but not to hand.
Rashid, having snaffled three Cincers with his bowling, put the game out of Cincers' reach with a powerful 47 until he was smartly stumped by stand-in keeper JP off Dan's one over at the end.
In the meantime, Max at mid-off had given us the faintest of hopes with a brilliant run-out.
Sadly,that just brought in big Pete, the BK keeper, who chanced his arm to smash a quick 19.
BK got the runs off 31 overs, with 5 wickets down.
Main Cincers' bowling figures: Test Match one for 37 off seven, Max one for 29 off 5, Rick one for 28 off 7 and Abid none for 35 off 5.
The usual four or five jugs of ale in the Hare and Billet with BK's skipper Max, Pete, Simon et al soothed Cincers' pain.
The story of the day was, we were outgunned by a fine team.
Mind, we should make them work harder for our wickets - ahem, the Skip being a case in point after whacking a loose one straight to a fielder.
'Batting is based on a good defence,'
Many thanks to Rick and fellow Cincers debutant Khan for turning out for us.

Duel in the sun ends in knock-out for 10-man Cincers as Skipper feels the heat

2009-06-29T10:09:00.006+01:00

Fears that the Captain had gone done with sun stroke were voiced last night after he won the toss and put Old Wimbledonians into bat!
With the mercury rising, the Captain led Cincers into the Raynes Park desert, sorry, field, muttering something about 'It'll be hotter than this in Lisbon. Best to be prepared.'
Six hours later, over Guinness and Stella (Artois) on the OW's terrace, the frazzled-Great Leader reflected on a 93-run defeat.
'D'you know, it might have been better to have a bat first,' he said.
The Vice-Skip departed loo-wards, sniping: 'Runs on the board. Every time.'
The day began inauspiciously (look it up).
A late replacement - somebody called Nan - didn't turn up.
Then strike bowler Sam rang the Skip shortly before the scheduled start.
Sam: 'Afternoon, Skipper. Have you got a first-aid box?'
Skip: 'Er, no but why?'
Sam: 'I've stubbed my big toe on an escalator. Bleeding badly. Plaster?'
Skip: 'Barman, another whisky please!'
Then Will, our number 3 batting blitzer, arrived to announce he had a very bad back or could it be a kidney stone on the way?
Cincers took the field with a depleted bowling line-up, with Big Jim, Tim R, Max and Rockie all absent.
So Selfish opened up with Ben Gill gamely at the other.
OWs began at a sedate, solid pace but without losing a wicket.
Ben struck first when OWs opener Matt Irvine (one-time playing partner of both the Skip and Rockie) charged him and Will took a steepler at cover (Hmmm. Bad back's shaping up).
Sadly for Cincers, a second-wicket partnership between Muckerjee and Ferguson pushed OWs towards a healthy score until Muckerjee (54) obligingly pulled a long hop from the Captain to Selfish at short mid-wicket.
Sam, meanwhile, had bravely offered to bowl with much limping and 'only off a few paces' excuses.
Newcomer Nick Bentley (wrongly introduced to OWs by the Skip with words 'the new bowler is Bent') sent down five overs - including not a few beamers.
Alex, our languid occasional left-hand batsman, also chipped in as did Tom and a late flurry of wickets saw Selfish almost get a hatrick.
The innings closed at 210 for 7 off 40 after some superb fielding by Cincers, with Ben a stand-out performer and Nick also pulling off some great stops.
Selfish had 4 for 11 off 8 (it's suppposed to be a team game. Can someone please tell him?), Ben 1 for 41 off 8, Sam one for 39 off 7, the Skip one for 32 off 6 while Nick had 0 for 45 off 5, Alex none for 25 off 4 and Tom's two overs cost 13. Cincers took tea confident that a top order of Tom, Alex, Will and Selfish (dropping down to 4 for a rest after his bowling).
Some rest. Tom played on/left one, depending on who you believe, in the first over and Alex was yorked in the next.
Will began impressively but Selfish holed out at point. Worryingly, the ball was hit directly at the umpire who happened to be the Skip.
Then Will was caught behind.
Wickets continued to fall until the Skip joined Adam S at 62 for six.
Having kept superbly, Adam now started batting in the same vein, with some gorgeous cover and straight drives.
A partnership of 52 ensued, thanks to the Skip's occasional dribbled singles and Adam's sumptuous strokes.
A rare attempt at an aggressive shot by the Skip led to his downfall, having crafted five runs (nose-bleed territory for him). 114 for 7.
Sadly, we only made it to 117 even though Tom was allowed back in as our 11th by courtesy of OWs captain Lawrence.
Ben was controversially given out LBW by the Skip. 'The silly fool, he thought it was going to hit the wicket but it would have missed the sight-screen,' said one malcontent.
Tom was left-stranded on 3, having hit four from his first knock. Cruel would it be to point out that was a combined total of seven was one more than the six overthrows which came off his attempted shy at the stumps earlier in the afternoon.
The day ended with the Captain leaving the field with a crazed look and muttering 'Look! Over there! Yes! Yes! It's an oasis!'
PS: Many thanks to Nick and Ben for stepping in at short notice and to OWs for a great game, nice tea and facilities.

Rockie - still fibbing about his age as 10-man Cincers score two victories in one day

2009-06-16T23:04:00.005+01:00

Two triumphs in one day, plus top-notch brownies - Sunday's encounter was paradise on earth for Cincers but hell for the London Saints.
Cincers' first-ever hatrick - Testmatch, take a bow - Craig's 4 for and Adam S's stunning keeping left Saints self-shocked.
A 10-man team minus Big Jim, Selfish, the Vice-skip, the Chairman (need I go on? 'No, shut up') reduced Saints to 60 all out in Elstree after the Skip won the toss and put the oppo in with debutants Greg and Russ still not at the ground. The M1, a nightmare apparently.
Saints started as they meant to continue with an opener getting run out without facing a ball (smart fielding from Ben Ellery whose brother Finn played for Saints).
Craig 'Light under a Bushel' Woodhouse stole the bowling headlines with 4 for 14 off seven while everyone else chipped in including Sam Ladbury who played despite a mighty hangover (Will, are you reading this?)
Rockie turned in a wicket maiden while the Skip took the final wicket just to thwart Craig's five for.
Cincers then got the runs for the loss of just one wicket (step forward the Skip, out to a sharp catch at first slip for an nose-bleeding eight!) while Testmatch notched up 39 not out.
Time for a beer match of 10 overs and mass run-out suicides by Cincers (Greg and Russ, my office, please).
Hang on! There's Max smashing the ball to all corners. Up the order next game, Lord Rashbrooke.
Rules were one over each apart from keeper Adam. Just enough balls for Testmatch to take Cincers' first hatrick! 'Does it count, Skip?' Sure does, if only because the tea-time brownies from Mrs R. were award-winning.
Behind the sticks, Adam turned in a superb spell of keeping all day, with three stumpings in the short game (one off the Skip and two off Craig) plus a brilliant run-out although credit (most of it) must go to the Skip for bellowing 'Bowler's!' in his left lughole. After all, Adam's throw that took the stumps out at 24 yards was just mechanics once he'd got directions.
Saints needed six of the last ball to win but Rockie's 'drifter' (he calls it his faster one) baffled the oppo's last man.
Thanks to oppo skipper Peter and the Saints team for being such sports and good hosts on a tough day for them.

CCC v BK, Greenwich Park, May 10

2009-05-28T11:17:00.011+01:00

Surveying the battlefield at high noon, the Captain's face darkened and a small cloud appeared above his forlorn sunhat.
“We’ve been given the end strip again. Just look at that short boundary,” he grumbled, to no-one in particular, or rather, no-one at all, as most of the team were still some miles away, near London.
“We’ll have to re-use yesterday’s pitch, like we did last week,” he informed a bored squirrel, who nonetheless paused mid nut, and raised a furry eyebrow as if to say, “I know your game – you’ll try anything to get your leggies to turn.”
So alone, save for the wildlife, the Skipper began to push stumps into the parched earth. Sighing the heavy sigh of captaincy, he completed one set and trudged, head bowed, to the other end to begin to construct another.
But there a rogue pebble brought his enterprise sharply to a halt. The Skipper must have spent half an hour trying like some cricketing Sisyphus to roll a stone out of a stump hole. Nothing could force it to move.
In exasperation, he finally fell to his knees, cursing his luck, and accepted that he would have to bowl on a pristine wicket, with a microscopic leg-side boundary. “This, surely, will be the graveyard of legspin as an art form in the modern game,” he sighed.
As in so many things, the Skipper was half right.
In fact, the short boundary proved completely irrelevant once the match got under way.
Despite a tidy opening spell from Lord Rashbrooke and Test Match Tim, which reduced BK to about 60-4, the batsmen soon found the bowling to be irreproachably hospitable and the outfield quick.
Runs piled up faster than Tim Moynihan’s plate during tea as two of our oldest BK friends helped themselves to a pair of 50s. Wicket keeper Pete eventually departed, stumped by his opposite number Jack off the Skipper’s bowling, but not before crashing several flighted deliveries to the ropes. BK’s very own Selfish Simon, however, went on to make a brilliant hundred and finished unbeaten on 103.
It was his first innings since 2007 and he looked like a man who had been starved of full tosses and longhops for far too long. We were, perhaps, a little too ready to oblige in putting that right.
The Cincers fielding was little better than the bowling. Test Match reminded the watching parakeets why his original nickname was Lurpak by buttering a catch to his left at slip and other chances went begging as the ineptitude spread.
But first prize went to one mesmerizing moment of paralysis where the Ross brothers nominated each other to field a looping catch off the Skipper’s bowling (“No, I insist, it really is all yours old thing”… “But I simply couldn’t, dear chap – after you” etc). Predictably it fell to the ground between them, quite an achievement given that one was at slip and the other keeping wicket.
BK finished with an imposing 255-7.
Tea was a magnificent affair of firey pasta, fresh cherries and gourmet sandwiches courtesy of the vice-skip, and augmented by a tray of Amy’s brownies.
What followed on the pitch, though, was stomach churning.
Despite a strong batting line up, even without our Selfish Simon, Cincinnati wilted under the pressure to achieve such a huge target.
Taking their queue from the Skipper’s earlier trouble with the stumps, every man in the side became inexplicably obsessed with woodwork. Nine out of 10 ‘Nati batters were bowled. The other, Steve - always one for doing his own thing - trod on his stumps instead.

By the end of the innings the wood at both ends had taken a fearful hammering and Cincinnati were all out for just half the BK score.

If only we'd used that other strip...

BK 255-7. Simon 103*, Pete 60. T Ross 3-28, Lord Rashbrooke 1-27.
CCC 134 all out. Tom 21, Ash 21. Rasheed 2-12, Josh 2-19.
Result: Lost by 121 runs.

2009/2 West XI v CCC by The Skipper

2009-04-28T20:42:00.005+01:00

Test Match Tim combined with Big Jim and 'broken bat' Bevan to lead Cincers to a superb 46-run triumph on Sunday.
An extraordinary new ball opening spell by Jim and Tim rescued West XI to 24 for 7 - yes, 24 for 7, folks - and rescued Cincers from a disappointing batting effort.
It was extraordinary we were playing in the first place.
Over a dozen regulars were not available, including the Vice-Skip with a sore foot, Rockie studying for an exam and the Chairman also out (family engagement - three-line-whip), for a match which looked destined for cancellation late last week.
Step forward a quartet of new boys, including Biraj - kindly lent by BK.
After the Skip won the toss and with an experimental batting line-up (yup, stand by for disaster), Biraj biffed his way to 51, accompanied by elegant left-hander Alex until he discovered the joys of a slower ball and had his off-peg readjusted.
Test Match arrived at the crease with his new bat and Cincers sped towards the century mark when Biraj holed out.
Selfish strolled out with his trusty Salix, and we seemed set fair - our traditional stout opening partnership at the crease and 100 almost on the board.
Tragically, Bevan discovered a whopping great crack in his bat (kept it indoors over winter, central heating etc, tut, tut, Rockie will be furious) and had to use Jim's for the rest of his innings.

'Too heavy,' he muttered before clipping a catch and departing for 12.
O me miserum. Cincers slumped from there to 147 all done, with Tim bowled for 22 and various zeros along the way....including a second-ball duck for El Capitano and for Chris.
Briefly, Jim gave us some 'magic', including a forward defensive that nearly went for a straight six, while new boy Ben imitated absent Will to hit 15.
Tea came with Cincers contemplating defeat against some fine bowling, not just from West XI's Neep but from others including Chris Dane and Aussie opener Mr Boden. West XI's skip Chris Wright - who could be joining us on tour in Portugal - was a bit rapid.
Over winter, Tim politely pestered the Skip about fielding at first slip. He forgot on Sunday and took up post at fine leg.
The Captain, of course, never forgets (apart from match fees) and promptly ordered Tim to his new post.
After Big Jim removed West XI's keeper Bapu by shivering his timbers, Tim took a spectacular to-his-right slip catch - just like on the telly!
Selfish hates being out of the limelight so he took a brilliant forward-diving, ball-inch-off-ground catch at cover to give Test Match his first wicket.
And so it continued, Jim whipping out four for 15 off seven and Tim three for 9 off 7.
New boy wickie Adam Smith kept superbly behind the stumps as West XI subsided in a heap.
All over? Not yet - bowler Neep turned in a blistering 64 (next top score in his side was 7!) to keep Cincers at bay, advancing down the wicket and carving the second-string around the park despite desperate dives all round including from new boy Mark Hookham.
We also managed to spill five catches....
The Skip's leggies (0 for 27 off 4) wilted and Selfish (one for 8 off 5) seized his chance to restore order.
Eventually, Neep holed out off Alex's medium pace (two for 7 off 3) to a beautifully judged outfield catch from Selfish who also took the last wicket.
Now he has to buy a new bat. Jim's isn't good enough for the likes of him. Typical.
Result: CCC won by 46 runs

2009/1 - NBW v CCC by The Skipper

2009-04-28T20:21:00.010+01:00

Cincers' 10th anniversary season - and earliest start since Aussie Joe got frost bite - opened in fine style last week with a six-wicket triumph over New Barbarian Weasels.
The weather was bright and calm at Regent's Park but poor old Weasels, batting first after sort of winning the toss (prior agreement with the Skip), were blown away for 77 by 'Big Jim' and 'Mad Max' on a bouncy artificial pitch.
Then enter Will to whack what must be Cincers' fastest-ever 50, including 19 off one over.
Before one of our biggest crowds ever (we were playing next to the cafe), Cincers' opening duo took one each in a sustained opening burst (Lewin: one for 8 off 4 and Max one for 13 off 7), before Chris Ashman whipped out two.
Debutant H. Duff became the first player called Hamish to play for Cincers and the first - apparently - to take a wicket with his first ball. He took one with his third (or fourth - who's counting) to finish with 2 for one off one.
Even the Skipper - one for 19 off 7 - and Tom - a wicket with his only ball - joined in while Rockie (his nickname shall henceforth be Evergreen) shrugged off the winter cobwebs with one for 6 off 4.
Sour point - Cincers' extras (23 of them) top-scored for Weasels who slumped to 77 all out off 30.1 overs.
So to the chase....Tom and JP opening up.
Weasels' bowler Mr Owen took Tom's edge first ball (past the flailing hand of first slip for four) to herald a fine piece of accurate, sideways-moving, medium-pace bowling.
Tom learnt his lesson? Did he heck as like.
The Dasher chipped in with a hasty 15 before perishing with a skier to the keeper. JP holed out to Owen soon after.
25 for 2. Enter the Moyners and....exit. Rapidly.
'Howzat!!!!!' Tim M out first ball to one from Owen that fizzed, turned, seamed, swung, turned again, fizzed once more and then clipped the formica.
After the game, a pair of dark spectacles were found on the pitch. 'Must have belonged to the guy with the white stick!' quipped one Cincer whose identity is known to the Captain but will only be revealed on payment of, well, a match fee.
Enter the Captain. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
A match-securing partnership then ensued with Will hitting the ball and the Skip judiciously leaving it outside off and avoiding the strike like the plague till Mr Owen disrupted his stumps with a yorker. Of the 50 partnership, the Skip scored precisely uno.
But hey, it's the winning that counts - not the taking part. Cincers managed the next 7 runs without losing another wicket to win with 21 overs to spare - Will 58 n/o. Time enough in the pub afterwards to learn of Tom's passionate love affair with the egg. 'I was making pasta the other day. Four eggs and six egg whites. Lovely.'
He's quite fond of omelette too. Oh, and boiled eggs. Pancakes are nice. Poached too. Meringues? Why not.
Result: CCC won by 6 wickets

Beast Members Wear Pickersgill

2009-04-24T00:23:00.007+01:00

Ever wonder what it's all about? Here's a pretty new toy to tell you.

Enter the address of this blog www.cincinnaticc.blogspot.com in the appropriate place and you will be given a "word cloud" in which the main themes of the blog are displayed. Apparently, the bigger the text, the more prominent the theme.

My cloud clearly spelled out the title of this post. Please share any other surreal formations you spot.

O Fortuna! Cincers at the Barbican

2009-03-05T18:08:00.008Z

Two club members will be singing in this concert at the Barbican on 7 April. Big Max will be keeping the basses on a tight line and length and Selfish Batter will be hogging the tenor part.

If you are interested in getting some tickets (they're selling pretty quickly), please email me. It would be great to see you there, with or without your Old Spice.

CCC Darts Tournament

2009-03-03T14:31:00.006Z

Just under a week ago several members of the CCC squad met to demonstrate their athletic versatility with a masterclass of darting prowess. As many expected, the final was contested between John 'I Wear a Fez' Pickersgill and Simon 'The Beast' Bevan. JP had already shown his abilities with a stunning 55 outshot (8, 15, double 16 - the way the professionals do it) to defeat Adam 'Trust Me' O'Callaghan in the quarter final, whilst The Beast had destroyed all who dared to stand in his way with his unique javelin throw action. In the end, JP edged a thrilling final to take home the trophy and the title of 'CCC Darts Champion'. Here's the results from the night:

(Tim 'Test Match' Ross retired hurt prior to the tournament - undefeated)

R1
Simon 'The Beast' Bevan bt Ash '20-20' Desai

QF
John 'I Wear a Fez' Pickersgill bt Adam 'Trust Me' O'Callaghan
Simon 'The Beast' Bevan bt Dan 'Dangerzone' Watt
Terry 'The Thief' Crook bt Chris 'The Judge' Storr
Steve 'The Flight' Wright bt Will 'The Teaser' Ashton

(Steve 'The Flight' Wright - retired hurt, semi-final place taken by Dan 'Dangerzone' Watt on 1 dart shootout)

SF
John 'I Wear a Fez' Pickersgill bt Dan 'Dangerzone' Watt
Simon 'The Beast' Bevan bt Terry 'The Thief'

Final
John 'I Wear a Fez' Pickersgill bt Simon 'The Beast' Bevan

Thanks to all who came along - stay tuned for news of the next CCC social gathering.

Cheers,

Adam & Dan

Weekend Routines

2009-02-21T18:48:00.006Z

After a quick look at the 2009 fixture list had confirmed that the Skipper is persisting with his Sunday-only policy, our bowler of the year decided to accept the situation and make other plans for Saturdays.

CAPTAIN SNOWBALL

2009-02-13T13:38:00.013Z

Determined to the last, The Skipper fought his way through the drifting snow to the Oval for our weekly net on Thursday night. Comprehensively kitted out as ever, he wore a fetching pair of "Black Run" ski boots for the occasion.

Some suggested the branding referred to the Skipper's tendency to run out colleagues while skiing to the non-striker's end after middling a passing snowball in June.

Merry Christmas & A Happy New Fixture List

2008-12-21T17:10:00.004Z

As Adam and Dan were staging their first event as Social Secs (their title, not the event) last Friday, the Skipper was busy at home finalising next season's fixtures. The list of matches can be seen on the left-hand side of this page.

Merry Christmas all!

78 HOURS

2008-12-04T14:27:00.016Z

That's how much time we spent playing cricket this summer.

Just think - 78 hours.... That works out at three and a quarter days.

Multiply that by 11 players and we spent more than a month this year plodding round the boundary, spilling catches, stealing the captain's cake and watching Selfish bat.

And that's before we even got to the speeches at last week's AGM.

Well done and many thanks to The Chairman for his final deed as social sec organising the excellent bash.

Testmatch Vs West Indies

2008-11-28T16:34:00.023Z

Check this out comrades - it is Cincinnati's slowest batsman taking on one of the West Indies' fastest bowlers: Mr Courtney Walsh.
He's about 7ft tall, very good, and now known in my house as "Sir".
The first two pics are of the beginning and end of the same delivery. The bloke in the background is Devon Malcolm. He was quite lively, too.
The best that can be said about the encounter is that I managed to avoid being killed (narrowly) and didn't get out (sorry Will).

AGM Preparations

2008-11-20T17:19:00.004Z

With the club's annual awards ceremony just over a week away, the Chairman heads to his local to rehearse his acceptance speech.

A big thank you even if it did get a little bit too much for me by the end of the evening!

2008-09-10T18:11:00.007+01:00

Chaps,
Many, many thanks for a great 50th bash at Finchley CC (thanks for hosting us, Frank). The caricature is a great gift.
But whose idea was it to leave the stumps intact? You've got to make these things look realistic, you know.
Someone's got to tell me who drew it. Everybody else is asking me and all I can say is I've never met the chap.
Your fan mail has been pouring in this week from the other partygoers - 'what a nice bunch of chaps' and 'very jolly people' - and some of these spoke to the Vice-Skip during the evening. My god, the ghost of Thixendale is finally laid to rest.
The cake pictured above - courtesy of Emily Wills, sister of Abigail, PA on the Daily Telegraph when I was there - is almost as good a likeness as the cartoon.
Er, that is, apart from the shot which is highly reminiscent of Stephen's 'over the white-washed garden fence' technique.
Still, the ball has clearly dribbled off the side during the slicing so not a bad result for me. Probably a single there...no, hang on, waiting, WAITING!!
Pity the deluge stopped us giving Frank's Finchley a run for their money on the day.
But let's not be modest about it, as this blog reports, for the first time ever, Cincinnati can celebrate a winning season - more games won than lost and some terrific efforts during the summer.
I'm putting Sunday down as the highlight - your best performance of the season even without a ball being bowled!
See you all at the AGM if not before,
Brendan

Happy Birthday, Skipper

2008-09-08T20:25:00.023+01:00

Cincers gathered at Finchley CC yesterday to celebrate Brendan's half century.

Bren sets hearts racing with talk of resignation before deciding that his successor is not yet ready to step up. He celebrates with a slice of a cake.

The Chairman presents a gift from the club to the skipper.

Although the game was rained off, a trip to Finchley would not have been complete without a huge appeal from Frank for the Skipper's wicket.

What a great tea - shame about the cricket

2008-08-19T20:35:00.006+01:00

Cincers showed Actors Anon how to do it on Sunday with a sparking performance by Dan and Adam.
On their first outing as teaboys, the young duo - pictured above with their handiwork - floored the opposition with refreshments worthy of an Olympic Gold.
"Not so much a buffet as a banquet," said one Actor, admitting defeat straight away in the face of a groaning Greenwich Park table.
"Best tea we've ever had," said another.
Not even 'Tubs' Moynihan could have munched his way through such trays of fine sandwiches, pork pies (the Chairman snaffled the last one in the pub later), chicken legs, pasta, salad and as fine a selection of cakes as the Cincers' better halves could muster.
Why, there were even lashings of ginger beer!
Actually, there weren't really but it's a nice quote from a little-known unpublished Enid Blyton story 'Five Wickets Go Down for One Run'.
Sadly appropriate for what went before the tea interval.
Thirsting for revenge, Actors fielded a new quickie along with regular Irish Jamie who's always a handful and Cincers struggled to get the ball off the square for 12 overs or so.
Just for the record, Jamie's bowling figures were 5.4 overs, three for four!
Sanjeev, the quickie, was positively expensive at six overs, none for 10.
Manfully, Test Match opened up and stuck around to post a hard-worked 26 before unluckily holing out (one of a couple of excellent Actors' catches by Roy) and newcomer Abid - helpfully filling in at 30 minutes notice after Will pulled out 'sick' before start of play - chipped in with 23.
The rest of us, well, we didn't get any though Jim had his usual watchful four, four, four, four and out, while Rockie hit two fours as well.
105 all out short of our 35 overs was never going to be enough.
Gamefully, the Skip (that's me) invoked the spirit of Whitstable as we took the field to recall our incredible victory last month but it slowly became more spirit of Clacton as Actors lost just the two wickets.
Max bowled well to take an early wicket, caught behind by Jack, and Jim did his best given he'd spent half the night watching the Olympics.
Rockie got the other wicket but Actors strolled to victory.
After a tea like they had, there's ingratitude for you.

Savour a triumph - forget a defeat!

2008-08-12T23:30:00.005+01:00

For some reason, the match report from August 3 - the one the Skip missed due to a savage bout of food poisoning - has been delayed. No doubt our illustrious Chairman will send out one of his "Oi! why hasn't the blog been updated??" emails and put matters right.
In the meantime, readers are invited to feast their eyes on this fine body of men - the triumphant Cincinnati team after the tour victory in Pembrokeshire last month.
Let's savour the moment in south-west Wales and forget what came next in south-west London!
PS This picture is one of many taken by Andy O which - when I can work out how - will appear as a slideshow. Over to you, Selfish!

The Chairman's Dive - Part II

2008-08-05T20:17:00.006+01:00

Apologies for the angle - Selfish cameraman to blame.

With thanks to producer and editor Mrs Selfish

The Chairman's Review Tenby Tour 2008

2008-08-02T19:50:00.006+01:00

The best tour yet? Every year I suspect there has been good reason to say "the best tour yet".

Berlin great organisation the attention of young football groupies (until we got out of the minibus) and finding a new friend. Yorkshire ah Yorkshire a story best told with beer and .....more beer late at night around a crowded table. Paris we`ll always have Paris, again organised well even if their cabbies seeemed determined to keep us from a wonderful setting complete with a pool for the chairman's dive and where better to drown our sorrows than the Sorrowful Shark. Then Galway back to the land of our skip to record our first victory.. away on a trip. And now Tenby without doubt the most beautiful setting yet hotels overlooking the beach fish being caught to eat (not scampi) great walks along the coast, ice creams brought from the whip and catches caught in the deep...sea that is, and then there was the cricket everyone playing their part no matter what role or for which team they played for one win one loss sounds about right yes I`m sure I can say "Y taith gorau erioed".....I hope.

Well done all

The Chairman

Phew - What a Scorcher! Bevan bashes Bosherston in historic second tour win

2008-07-29T22:29:00.009+01:00

A weekend of Welsh tour betrayal and treachery was completed at around 7pm on Sunday as Selfish Batter steered Cincinnati to a memorable victory - by crushing the side that nurtured him.
Only 24 hours earlier, Selfish - deserting Cincers to bat for his original home side of Bosherston and Stackpole - had snatched victory from us with a last-over cameo of a four and a six.
"Croeso gartref - welcome home!" cheered BSCC. In vain.
Selfish doesn't speak the language of his fathers and promptly defected back to Cincers for the Sunday game at BSCC's gorgeous home ground at Stackpole.
Worse, he notched up his highest ever score - a chanceless 136 not out to lead us over the line after a generous declaration from BSCC skipper Richard MacKay.
BSCC batted first on a blisteringly hot day in a 35-over contest and quickly set a hot pace to match - despite tight, sharp bowling from Big Jim at one end which earned him a second over wicket.
Max started well at the other end but BSCC's intentions rapidly became clear - whack it!
Enter the Honey Monster's cousin - Huw Cox, with some of the hardest straight hitting yet inflicted on Cincers (for the record, the Honey Monster in Galway last year preferred mid-wicket, about a mile over it from the Skip's 'spinners').
Max's third over went for 21, including five fours, after which the bowler promptly resigned from his spell.
"You're on next - Max's has abdicated," the Skipper told Test Match.
Sadly, it was still crash helmet order at long off and long on as Huw - assisted by opener Alan Webster - proceeded to knock the leather off the ball and wreck one bat in the process.
Catches were spilled as Cincers wilted until Adam woke up at cover to catch BSCC's skip for a duck off Selfish's medium pacers.
Next over, Adam woke up again to juggle, sorry, snaffle another catch to slow the onslaught.
No respite, though, as Huw - now aided by hard-hitting number six J. Williams - bashed on regardless, surviving the odd chance and scare.
Bravely, the Chairman took the ball from the Skip, provoked a chance that went down and suffered a fearful battering from the escapee.
But what's this? Over the hill came the 7th Meerkat Cavalry in the shape of former Chairman Rockie's inswingers and Max's massive hands at deep, deep, mid-wicket.
The Mighty Max took three excellent catches, including despatching Huw for 83. Tragically, a Kerrygold-sponsored drop at square leg by, er, the Skip, may have denied Rockie his first ever five-for as he went to bag a fourth wicket.
Rockie finished with an astonishing four for 14 off five overs while Big Jim sent down seven, one for 20.
Will, donning the gloves for the second day running, put in his best performance yet with behind the stumps.
Why, he even took a stumping off a flighted leggie offering from the Skip.
BSCC declared at 220 for nine off 30 overs - with, under Pembrokeshire league rules, Cincers getting the unused overs.
So, our target was 221 from 40.
A banquet of a tea followed before Selfish and Test Match strode to the crease to begin the reply.
An Australian-style arc of slips greeted Selfish's first ball - a wide sent down by the BSCC skip and the cordon promptly relaxed.
Test Match started watchfully - "could you move that dairy herd, please?" - as Selfish gradually opened up on the pitch of his youth.
One major alarm came when bowler Webster deflected a return drive from Selfish on to the non-striker's stumps. The Skip, umpiring, gave it "Not Out" - to the thinly-disguised - well, not disguised at all - disbelief of BSCC.
Ash - fielding for the oppo (I refuse to mention, Ash, that you hit me for a four, by the way, when batting for BSCC) - won plaudits from the home side for his dives which for once involved stopping the ball.
Eventually, Test Match succumbed to an extravagantly-turning off-spinner from Webster to depart for 28 but not before he and Selfish had racked up another century partnership.
A quick cameo came from Dan - he was caught at first slip by Frank fielding for the oppo after BSCC skip Richard was carried off injured. Will also chipped in quick runs.
Selfish ploughed on to an historic 136 not out and an equally historic tour win for Cincers off 37 overs - our second tour triumph in a year.
A great end to a great tour, formally marked at the Stackpole Inn where Max was named Fielder of the Tour and Rockie got Player of the Tour.
Well, we can't let Selfish win everything, can we?
* Picture caption: In his pomp - Selfish prepares for another boundary on home turf.

Of Tubs and treachery...

2008-07-27T09:48:00.004+01:00

Cincinnati hit a new low yesterday when four team members conspired to deny the team a triumphant first day on tour in Wales.
The Gang of Four - led by non-Welsh speaker "Selfish batter" Bevan - turned their backs on their team mates to play for the opposition - Bosherston and Stackpole CC. Tubs Moynihan, fortified by a whopper-sized serving of scampi and chips in the Indian restaurant the night before (and we do mean INDIAN) tucked into the Cincinnati attack to rack up more than 70 runs and a cheeseburger.
Cincinnati bowlers, clearly unwilling to get the traitors out, served up a rich diet of half-volleys and full-tosses - especially after Tubs pulled up with a calf muscle strain. The generous bowling was entirely in keeping with the wonderful hospitality provided by hosts BSCC at a reserve ground on an army camp set in the rolling countryside of Selfish Batter's native Pembrokeshire.
The day opened with BSCC appealing for players from the overstocked, if undertalented, ranks of the touring squad.
But the skipper was appalled when Selfish led Tubs, former, and never to be again, chairman Graham Rock, "quickie" Kiwi Max "Lord" Rashbrooke and young Dan over to join the home team.
Worse, Rocky successfully reprised his John Travolta-style of wicketkeeping to frustrate Cincinnati despite a gallant opening stand by the chairman and the skipper who got a nose bleed when he reached the dizzy heights of 18 before succumbing to vertigo (caught at slip at the second attempt). Team trouble-maker Ash livened up proceedings by smashing a six and promptly falling down in adoration of the shot. The vice-captain defied gravity and technique to hit a swashbuckling 30-odd, including four drops along the way before retiring hurt - possibly the first player in history to be hit in the foot by a wide (bowled by Selfish, to make matters worse).
Earlier, Test Match (the artist formerly known as Lurpak) departed, muttering "No Ball!" after missing a shooter from fine young prospect James Adie, a 12-year-old swing bowler.
Keeper Will bludgeoned Cincer's top score of 45 not out and Big Jim hit a two ball six-and-out to take Cincers to 183 off 35 overs - with Adie taking 3-32 for BSCC with some fine bowling.
After a banquet of a tea - deliberately involving extra sponge cake to slow Cincers down in the field - BSCC themselves got off to a sedate start, with skipper Jenkins caught at gully by Test Match off Adam O'Callaghan seam-up bowling.
That brought in the traitor Rock who found, from God knows where, a range of shots never seen when playing his own club. Thankfully the Gods of criket, and Rocky's own disastrous judge of a run, eventually brought an end to his innings, but not before he had reached 28.
Enter Tubs, and the Shelving. Fortified by a tea-time snack of 16 scotch eggs and a ham and bacon pie, Tubs put his team mates to the sword with some sparkling driving.
Frantic bowling changes by the skipper failed to stem the BSCC tide, even though the chairman - bowling into the setting sun, winkled out two batters.
A helpless Tubs, by now relying on a runner, watched aghast as his team mates ran him out.
In a tense finish, Big Jim returned to get a wicket and bring in Selfish. "Leave it to me skip - I have a cunning plan," he said, before serving up a smorgasbord of legs-side morsels duly despatched by Selfish over the heads of distraught Cincinnatians to give BSCC a victory off the penultimate ball.
No flowers please, just donations to the Crocked Cincinnatians (JP's foot)Fund.
* Our picture shows Tubs about to tuck in to his scampi and chips a la Mumbai in Tenby's fine Bay of Bengal restaurant.

Cincinnati v Whistable Labour Club - Whitstable

2008-07-21T22:29:00.023+01:00

Cincers began their coast-to-coast march across the UK with the annual trip to Whitstable. The local Labour club once again served up a well-kept pitch and a splendid tea - terrific hosts. As for the game, only Hollywood could have come up with the plot that unfolded.

The Skip won the toss and decided to bat. He and Rocky got us off to a steady - some might say slow - start. Their partnership was broken when Rocky mistook Brendan's cry of delight at middling a wide one for an instruction to run. Poor Graham never stood a chance.

Dan ended the watchful nonsense with some fine attacking batting. He and Lurpak were joint top-scorers on 31 - until Tim added a discretionary 12.5% tip to his score, rounding it up to 35. Our guest Roger made a useful contribution at the end of the innings and the Wright Brothers scampered a single off the final ball before tea. Who would have guessed the significance of their effort at the time?

We ended on 130-9 from 43 overs. Custodians of the spirit of the game would have been gladdened to see Cincinnati at least come out to field after tea in the wake of last year's vulgar decision to whack a few more boundaries after enjoying a slice of cake. The relief however would have been short lived. After Batting On After Tea last year, the Cincers this year challenged etiquette by Only Using Three Bowlers All Innings. More on that later.

As we took our positions, the Vice Captain was looking subdued at point (his preferred patch of the cricket field). John had picked up a thigh injury during drunken antics at a house party the night before. A sad indictment of a Beverly Hills lifestyle?

The Yorkshireman in him was soon reawakened when Mark W, standing at slip, helpfully offered to swap positions with him. The Skipper stepped in: "No, we need WICKETS!". With edges anticipated on a bouncy track, the Skip's thought processes were clear to all. The lad from Leeds just jutted his jaw. "Hear all, See all, Say nowt..."

All the while, Lurpak was charging down the hill with a hint of devil in his eye. He struck twice to remove the openers. Adam was coming up the hill.

When two well-coached youngsters started hitting fours through the covers we all wondered if we were watching a sequel to the BK game. Whitstable were halfway to victory with 8 wickets left. In the nick of time, Brother Jack combined with Tim to dismiss Number 3. Then Selfish swung one to trap Number 4 LBW. Could the scriptwriter really pull off such a twist?

What followed was, in the words of the skipper, the finest display of catching in CCC's history (surely jinxing the tour in the process) as we worked our way through the middle order. Rocky joined in the self-congratulation with his own "excellent catch". And still Lurpak tore down the slope.

When Whitstable's last man came out to bat, they needed 6 to win. A few runs were scrambled off Lurpak and Selfish. 129-9. 1 to tie, 2 to win. Lurpak began his demonic charge for the last time. Number 10 swiped at a delivery outside off stump. He connected and the ball flew away just behind square.

The Yorkshireman hadn't moved. A slightly raised eyebrow was his only facial reaction to the approaching ball. "Take all, Keep all, Drop nowt". As the leather, and with it victory, finally settled in his bruised hands, the Vice gave an almost imperceptible nod of the head, perhaps confirming to himself that an earlier insult from the other side of the Pennines had been set right.

Next second, the dour Yorkie had disappeared and Hollywood was back in town. The hero's dash towards the sunset, all sails rotating, teammates in pursuit, just needed a wide camera lens and a superimposed 'The End'.

Epilogue: Man of the Match and Best Supporting Actor Lurpak ended with the extraordinary figures of 17-2-56-7. He deserved his fish and chips - before presumably pounding the road back to London.

Cincinnati v BK - Greenwich Park

2008-07-21T20:54:00.015+01:00

This was one of those games where you come away thinking, 'If we'd got another 30 runs...', or 'If we'd got one more breakthrough..' i.e. we were well beaten.

We batted first and scored around 170-8 in 35 overs. Top scorer was Selfish Batter, who donated 80 runs to the team cause. Moyners showed us what we'd been missing this season with a few hefty swings of the formica. Simon D made his CCC debut and left with his honour intact on 1 not out.

After tea, our lack of bowling options was soon exposed. Lurpak was his usual reliable self but things got away from us after his early strikes. The only consolation was that, when it came, the coup de grâce was delivered by a stylish Welshman.

Back in the Hare & Billet, the Chairman provided confirmation that we hadn't quite been on the ball all day. As we shared a packet of crisps, he pitched his Dragons' Den idea of marketing Quavers as a practical scoop solution for a bowl of peanuts. Not for the first time that afternoon, a group of Cincers had to turn to the Skipper and mutter, "I'm out".

Cincinnati v London Saints - Greenwich

2008-07-08T23:47:00.000+01:00

Cincinnati selfishness hit a new low this weekend when two players beat theopposition on their own. Simon Bevan - already at the centre of several 'Me, Me, Me' battinginquiries - and Tim Ross humiliated the rest of the team by putting on an undefeated 164 opening stand off 27.4 overs. A packed batting line-up looked on helplessly as Selfish (Bevan's realname) - hogged the strike to plunder 110 not out off the hapless London Saints attack and steer us to our first-ever 10-wicket win.
'I was seeing it like a football - MY football!' Said selfish after the rain-interrupted match.Ross - known as Test Match Tim for his, er, 'measured' approach to taking guard - dropped anchor at the other end.Will drummed his fingers idly on his bat which for some reason he had bothered to knock in. At one point, Tim, who ended up 44 not out, livened things up by insisting on having the sightscreen moved and repainted, only for the bowler to decide he wasn't coming round the wicket after all.M eanwhile, Solitaire - sorry, I mean, Selfish - barrelled along,despatching the ball to all corners of the rain-soaked pitch, to reach his first century of the season. Earlier, the rest of us had a bit of a look-in when Saints were restricted to 164 for 8 off 35 overs. It went wrong for them from the start when the opener took a quick single to the Skip at mid-on only to fall to a direct hit. The Skip immediately left the field, muttering something about 'this is the day to buy a lottery ticket. Back in a minute.' Big Jim was his usual generous self to the Opposition batsmen - three for 17 off seven overs. All the other bowlers chipped in a with a wicket apiece- Max, Test Match, the Chairman, newcomer Craig (a Yorkshireman but seemed a nice guy) and even the Skip who got the Saints' captain with a "vicious,turning leg break' (his words).It was actually a trademark piece of sharp stumping from wicket-keeper Jack who defied the duck-pond conditions brilliantly all day. New boys Alex Barker and Jason Lewis helped out gamefully in the field, despite Jason's WC Grace-vintage cricket shoes coming apart as he galloped(unsuccessfully) after a snick through the slips.And so to the tea! In stark contrast to the lack of sharing that followed in our innings, Big Jim and his fiancee Lucy laid on a right royal spread - so lavish that the table collapsed or was that Max breaking it later on? It was the last collapse of the day as Selfish and Test Match strode out to humble Saints. Later, much later on Sunday night, after we'd left the ground, even after we'd bade farewell to the Hare and Billet, something stirred in the pitch black gloom of a deserted Greenwich Park. Test Match Tim had slipped back in to enlist the help of two squirrels and a passing hedgehog to get that sightscreen shifted. PS: "Test Match Tim the Title Track" is available shortly on Cincinnati CC Records, sung to the tune of Postman Pat.
PS: Our picture shows Lucy and Big Jim with their award-winning tea.

Cincinnati v Bedford Row - Hampstead Heath

2008-07-08T23:45:00.002+01:00

With the skipper unavailable, it was left to the Vice to lead us into an unfamiliar corner of Hampstead Heath.

Worried by the prospect of a moment of madness from one of our openers, the Vice decided to face the new ball himself. He and Selfish put on 75 for the first wicket. In doing so, they successfully calmed down Southern Cincers whose nerves had been frayed by the train rides, bus journeys and car lifts that had been endured to reach NW3.

The run fest continued throughout the middle order with Will, David and Lurpak all finding the boundary. Will and Selfish completed half centuries, and Jim hammered home the advantage with a brutal 42. After several rounds of negotiations between Steve, Rocky and the scoreboard, we announced a final total of 239 from our 35 overs.

Inspired by some posh sandwiches from Borough Market, the Cincers stylishly defended their score against the opposition barristers. Jim, Lurpak, the ex-Chmn, Steve, the Chmn and Damian all took wickets, and there was no buffoonery in the field. With Bedford Row all out for about 110, we repaired to the pub to doctor the scorebook.

P.S. The advertising plane that kept circling the pitch during the game apparently reported spotting a meerkat on Hampstead Heath last Saturday. The sighting was made mid-afternoon just after our opening bowlers had been taken off. Did anyone else see this?

10-man Cincers and Chairman's new Pants triumph over Saints

2008-07-08T16:24:00.004+01:00

No Selfish Batter, no Big Jim, no Vice-Skip and no Rockie...and still
10-man Cincinnati triumphed up in Elstree this weekend.
The valiant - if weakened team - beat London Saints by 52 runs with star
performances by Tim R with the ball, new boy Richard Edwards with the bat
and with both Will and Dan heavily in the runs.
Why, even if the Skip figured with an imperious 15 opening up ("like
watching paint dry", said one disloyal Cincinnatian) and with the ball.
First, Cincinnati won the toss and opted to bat on what proved to the
slowest pitch in the known world.
Tim R, opening up with the Skip, got sent back by the Captain for a quick
single to mid-on and clearly distracted, then played over the next ball to
bring Richard E to the crease.
Richard's a sort of right-handed Selfish and proceeded to milk Saints'
bowling for 65, most of it in a competitive (and we do mean competitive)
partnership with Will who got 45.
In fact, it got so competitive that Will got himself out, trying to clip a
full, straight ball round the corner for a single to pinch the strike.
Sadly for Saints, that brought in Dan who - first with Richard, then with
new boy Ben Ellery - put the bowlers to the sword to hit 53 not out.
Cincers closed on an impressive 220 for four off 35 overs.
Game over? Er, no. Ever the gents, we then kicked off with newcomer Chris
Ashman offering pace but with several wides while Dan, gamely filling in as
opener, struggled to hit his stride.
Dan hit back with a smart run-out to send one of their opening batsmen on
his way.
Enter Tim R (7 overs, 2 for 16) and the Chairman, wearing his new Lords'
Pad Man match underwear for the first time in anger, (7 overs, one for 35)
to rein them in and push the run-rate up.
Then Steve Binks, playing only his second game since his maiden performance
against Saints a year ago, bowled superbly to end with figures of six
overs, one for 18.
Heaven forfend, the Skip's leggies began with a maiden and ended with seven
overs, three for 38.
Saints, who at one stage were up with the rate, crumbled to 168 for 8 off
35 overs.
Best of all, that included one of the Skip's oldest mates (John Quinn)
getting a good old-fashioned duck, superbly caught by Will down the
legside.
We rejoice and are glad.

PS: Our picture shows the Chairman being presented with his new all-in-one cricket briefs by the Skipper at the previous game in Ham.

CCC V Actors Anon

2008-07-06T11:48:00.002+01:00

Scene: The Field of Saints and Kings in time long now past.

Prologue

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
Enquired the Bard, hoping to have his way
With some fair but frosty maid. “Better not,”
Said she, “my desire lies elsewhere, with hot
Actors and their sport, not your feeble quill.”
Thus sorely wronged, our Bard swore vengeance ill
Would befall those men who stole his lover,
And vowed to make the offenders suffer.

Act I
And so it was that Will took up his bat,
Not in lust of making runs but love for that
Which proved far rarer, yet promised joys beyond
All rhyme and reason. So he took his wand
To Ham, where famous actors came to play;
Here, surely, he would score and win the day.

Act II
As if in spite, the golden sun did shine -
A "summer's day" for Will to grieve and pine,
To think on his poetical betrothed
(And how she'd look entirely unclothed).
The pitch was flat, the boundary good and short,
The Skipper won the toss; runs seemed assured.
But Lurpak fell three balls in and Selfish
Was becalmed. The Actors had an Irish
Quick who used his skill to make it seam;
Woe! John the Vice was Shot for seventeen!

Act III
Enter The Bard wielding his ancient quill:
Here was some old school willow and the Will
To make these Actors pay for all that they
Had done to thwart Will's plan to have his way
With Sweet Francine. Once, twice, and thrice he hit
The Thespians fiercely through midwicket;
Then one Dick Whittington entered the scene
To seek his fortune on Ham's illustrious green.
But angry Will took up his axe and walloped
The loopy spinners poor Dick had dolloped
As far as those Bow Bells that sobbed once more:
"Turn again Whittington, three times the Mayor
"Of London!" But, alas, turn it would not
As Tom joined the fray and another fine shot
Showed Actors our batters intended to win;
And puppy-like Tom sang: "I hit the shit bin!"
(Though none were sure if our happy young hound
Had filled that same vessel on reaching the ground.)
In silence, unnoticed all the long while,
Selfish was batting with customary style.
Reaching his fifty with a nod of his head
He planned to bat 'til it was time for bed.
But finally he fell and Giant Jim came in
Calling "FEE, FIE, FO, FUM!" and gnashing his grin.
"I SMELL THY BLOOD!" roared Jim at the bowler
And smote a vast six that killed a poor stroller.
Four more huge blows saw the score near three tons
And the Natti closed happy on 291;
Our am'rous Bard with the score of the day,
Eighty-five runs to soothe love wounds away.

Act IV
The finest of teas was quickly despatched
And a plan for our bowling was hastily hatched.
"Send in the Giant" cried John the vice skipper
So Jim roared in, mashing stumps with a ripper.
The Chairman looped on from the tennis court end
And sent three Actors back to rehearsals again.
Lurpak was robbed of a clear caught behind;
The umpire's excuse: "I'm deaf and half blind!"

Act V
Despite some worthy blows from the batters,
Our star-studded foes fell short where it matters;
The Natti recorded a triumphant win
And Will left us early, a love song to pen...

Who ate all the runs?

2008-06-03T11:11:00.002+01:00

Well, I don't know about you but I thought it went very well on Sunday.
Yes, it was a daunting target.
Always is at Finchley.
But we got stuck in like true, fearless Cincinnatians, just going for it like the good old days.
Big Jim showed the way, eyeing up a big one to long leg.
One minute, it was there. The next, it was despatched. Never seen a piece of marble cake go so fast.
Then there was the vice-skip.
I mean, OK, he's not technically perfect. Might even have been LBW in front of the cress sandwiches.
But my, what a whizz with the teapot. Shots all round.
"Who want's a fill-up? Tim? Here you go! Adam? No problem," he said, swivelling round to show that even with a stance like John Wayne waiting for his next horse he can twist and turn like the best of them. Mind, Dan played a blinder. He hoovered up every crumb. Nothing got passed him.
Oh, and there was our very own marathon man.
"Oi, I'm now the fastest one in the team!" said Andy O.
He was too. Those chicken and ham sarnies have never disappeared off a plate that quick before.
Pity he dropped that easy one. I thought it was a dolly but he's never been that fond of cheese and tomato.
He could learn a bit about stickability from Tim R. Solid, dependable, he didn't go for big bites. Just stuck in there, quietly munching away at his plate while his brother Jack, well, safe as houses as usual.
Anyone else would have spilled that mini-bakewell but not our Jack.
The only blot on the tablecloth was the absence of home-made brownies etc.
Sadly, both Tim R and Jack told their better halves not to bother with the the oven gloves this week.
Dicing with death there, boys. Do you want to get dropped off the top table?
Apparently, there was some cricket either side of the tea.
Some lot called Finchley clubbed 238 for 5 off 40 while we let them win, chugging along to a creditable 112 for 9.
Some rude Aussie bloke called Frank got three for 34 as if we care.
But Rockie did us proud, turning away back to his mark oblivious while the rest of us celebrated a stumping off his bowling.
But hey, it's only a game.
Anyone for a cuppa?

CCC v BK - Greenwich

2008-05-22T13:35:00.011+01:00

What is it about this fixture? Over the last few years, we must have played BK more than most teams and yet every time the two sides seem to end up locked in another thrilling contest.
This one, I would submit, takes the home-made cake.
Conditions couldn't have been more different from the previous week, when the sun beat down on a glorious afternoon and Greenwich park seemed to have slipped a few thousand miles south along the Prime Meridian to Africa - Ghana, or Togo, perhaps.
No, our home ground had rediscovered its true bearings on the chill eastern edge of the most famously miserable city in the world.
Wind howled through the white slats of the sight screens. Icy drizzle clung to newly budding trees. Shocked voles, emerging from hibernation, scurried away and threw themselves under lorries on Shooters Hill just to escape their frozen misery.
The Skipper, wisely, rigged the toss and chose to bat, mainly to give us the chance to thaw out after spending the morning forcing boundary markers into the permafrost.
Cincinnati's reliably egocentric opening pair of Selfish Batter and Selfish Butter (aka Lurpak) put on 48 for the first wicket. The partnership ended only when Lurp reverted to form after some unusually dashing shots and re-located that trusty outside edge.
Will and Simon drove and pulled their way to good scores but both fell short of 50 as BK's bowlers applied pressure and never let the Natti batters get away.
An immaculately executed 18 followed from Stephen, who looked for all the world as if he had wintered like a swallow in the warmer climes of Mark Ramprakash's Caribbean Batting Academy.
Important contributions from Rocky and the Vice Captain helped Cincinnati to 180 for 7 at tea as snow clouds gathered overhead.
In an inspired effort to warm us all up, the Vice Captain provided a glorious spread, including a pasta salad laced with explosive chillies. Amy (Mrs Lurpak) supplied the first tray of brownies of 2008.
Suitably immobilised by lard, we took the field to defend what always looked likely to prove an inadequate score.
Howling Mad Max had his first outing of the year and tore in from the Pavilion End (do we have one of those?) with a fine spell of fast bowling. He removed two key BK batters for just 26 runs off his allotted overs.
But the opposition were making steady progress towards their target, despite the best efforts of Adam and the Chairman to keep runs to a minimum. Rahman, Ferhan and our old wicket-keeping mate Pete pushed the score to within reach of our total with some determined batting.
That is, until what must surely count as one of the most remarkable transformations in modern cricketing history.
Selfish Batter, the mainstay of our top order for the past 350 years, dramatically, sickeningly, like some multi-headed slithering alien from Dr Who, morphed into The Incredible Selfish Bowler.
With a run-up that suggests an almost total contempt for the bowler's art, the ISB slung down a series of vicious swinging deliveries in the semi-darkness. From his near stationary position next to the umpire, he prized out three BK batsmen for no runs in a single crucial over, helped by some brilliant catching from Rocky. Normally, this is the sort of thing that other teams do to us, but suddenly Cincinnati were back in the match.
With just one over left and BK down to their last pair, the batsmen nicked another run.
The scores were level. There was one ball left and one run needed for a BK victory or a dot ball or wicket for a tie.
The ISB steamed in from no yards away, slinging down another yorker, but BK squeezed it away in the gap backward of point and took the crucial run.
Much credit to the final pair of BK batters for keeping their cool and curses to the rest of them for another amazing match.
Cincinnati 180-7 after 40 overs (Selfish Batter 42, Will 33. Josh 3-37)
BK 181-9 from 40 overs (Ferhan 40, Rahman 37. Incredible Selfish Bowler 3-18, Lurpak 3-43).

New season - Cincinnati v West XI, 11 May 2008

2008-05-13T20:01:00.017+01:00

Cincinnati overcame challenges on and off the field to ensure a successful start to the new season.

Prior to the match, the Skip & Vice's long deliberations over the batting order (see previous post) had been thrown into chaos with a couple of late changes to selection. Ash's shock withdrawal on Saturday afternoon (most had been anticipating Sunday morning at the earliest) was followed by news that our "secret batter" was not yet ready to come out of the shadows.

Clearly upset by the last-minute confusion, the Skip decided to preempt the traditional coin-tossing ritual with a direct request to bat first. The rattled West XI captain obliged and, despite a sometimes tricky wicket, we scored 172-7 off 35. Main contributors were Lurpak (47), Selfish (36) and Adam (29*). The Ross Bros held things together with a fifty partnership in the middle overs and Adam hit out well in the closing stages. His straight six in the last over was bettered only by an amazing Caribbean-style step across the stumps and whack to the mid-wicket boundary.

Highlights of tea were home-made carrot and ginger cake (Chairman) and wedding cake (Lurpak). After the interval, our fielding and bowling were impressive. Selfish and the Chairman both took three wickets (the latter needing a 13-mile run to warm up for his spell), Lurpak and Adam contained well and the Skip got his first stumping of the season. Special mention to Jack for his excellent keeping. West XI ended on 153-8, 20 runs short of victory.

Who is the Secret Batter? Can you help?

2008-05-07T23:02:00.005+01:00

Reports just in suggest a Cincinnatian is taking secret batting lessons with a view to storming up the order this season.
According to well-placed sources, a senior, long-serving member of the team has privately engaged the help of a top batting coach behind the back of Cincinnati management.
The identity of the secret batter is as yet unconfirmed but perhaps you can unmask him.
It could be you've seen someone acting suspiciously outside the off stump or playing a highly unusual straight bat when a cross-bat swipe has always sufficed in the past.
May be you, or someone close to you, have heard the unmistakable sounds of secret coaching: the rattle of stumps being knocked over followed by "f**k! I'm wasting my bl**dy time and money!"
If so, do get in touch with the club police. The number is on page 4,986,999 of the current edition of Wisden.
But in the meantime, please - don't have nightmares. The chances of this person actually connecting with the ball are very, very remote. Sleep well!

'Hotshot' good omen on eve of season opener!

2008-05-06T18:02:00.003+01:00

Pre-season training for senior Cincinnatians at Whitstable fete paid off handsomely yesterday.
The Skipper knocked spots off the opposition (mainly five and six-year-olds but also including the ex-Chairman) at the coconut shy by hitting this fine specimen from all of two yards.
The Skipper told Cincinnati News: "When the (fish and) chips are down, it's time to step up to the plate.
"This is an early warning to the opposition not to try any quick third runs this season when I've got the ball.
"Sadly, the ex-Chairman took 'coconut shy' literally and missed by a proverbial mile.
"The Vice-Skip refused to take up the challenge but far be it for me to point that out."
Warning: anyone who alters this caption to read 'Which One is the Coconut' will bat at 12 throughout the season (rockie, is that OK? I know it's your usual position).

2008 Strategy Summit

2008-04-30T23:43:00.009+01:00

The new season is just days away, but the batting order is still causing the CCC leadership duo problems. Even after drawing up ten variations, neither appears to be willing to compromise.

Outfranked in Finchley

2007-09-22T09:40:00.002+01:00

We rounded off the 2007 season with a trip to the marvellous pitch at Finchley. Sadly, not even the inspiration provided by a hard track, sight-screens & scoreboard or the combined firepower of 13 Cincers were enough to overcome the locals and their talismanic leader.

Finchley batted first and piled up a big score of around 230 before declaring. I'm sure we took some wickets along the way but really we were just waiting for Frank to let us have a go at batting (or was that just me?).

Our response was reminiscent of the Saturday Galway game. Selfish Batter and Lurpak built a solid opening partnership, and Finchley's strike bowlers were soon sent to graze in the long grass. But then an Aussie intervened to ruin things. Not a honey monster this time, but our very own Frank. Years of reconnaissance on CCC tours were rewarded as he picked off six of our batsmen. The final wicket fell with a couple of overs to go - just before the Skip could step in to call it off for bad light. And that was that for another year.

2007 season: P13 W5 WD1 LD0 L6 NR1

The day was notable for the last-minute challenge by Lurpak to claim the Selfish title: he arrived late to avoid the tedious opening overs, bowled about 55 overs of off spin, opened the batting and dominated tea and the post-match celebrations with the announcement of his engagement to Amy. Respect and many congratulations!

Ego-judge Rocky assesses the new contender ("Did he offer the team a slice of that cake?").

Thank you

2007-09-10T13:22:00.000+01:00

Many thanks for the vouchers you gave us for our wedding. It was very much appreciated. For those interested, the official photos of the day are now available - the code is 96VMLD. A few Cincers feature around batch 22 I think. If your day is particularly empty, you can also have a look at our honeymoon pictures. There are quite a few there so I'd recommend putting them on a fast slideshow.

Finale to the 2007 season

2007-09-04T21:42:00.000+01:00

"Do you want to bat or bowl first?" - the captain of Finchley's Sunday XI (he's on the left) takes the reins in Galway

Boys, we have nothing to fear but total and utter humiliation on Sunday.
However, Frank - the opposing Finchley skip (we only borrow him for tours) - has clearly already lost it.
Here he is talking to a horse in Galway.
Team for Sunday is: JP, Andy O, Rockie, Simon, Tim R, Jack, Chris, Dan, Jim, Ash and Brendan.
Please meet at the ground at midday for 1pm start. It's now September and you know how unpredictable I get when the nights are drawing in!
This is easily the best cricket wicket and pitch we'll have played on this summer, by the way.
There's an electronic scoreboard though it wasn't working the last time I batted for them (geddit?!)
Finchley CC's address is: East End Road, Arden Field, Finchley, N3 2TA.
(tel: 0208 346 1822).
Map link is: http://maps.google.co.uk/?q=N32TA
Finchley has a very good bar and clubhouse which we really should patronise after the match.
There's also talk of an end-of-season curry somewhere.
Brendan

Running on empty - half-strength Cincinnati hits the buffers

2007-09-03T21:30:00.000+01:00

Simon, where were you! Selfish Batter has a nervous wedding-day fidget with the ring

Captain's Log - stardate: September 3, 2003

Suicide in Regent's Park in broad daylight.
Reduced to just eight players, Cincinnati did what we do best when our backs are against the wall - gift the opposition two wickets.
No sniggering please from the legion of absentees (Simon, Jim, Dan, Tom, Max, Tim R, Tim M, Stephen, Tappers, etc - I mean you) - we also came up against the sharpest bowler since the three wicket maiden Honeymonster in Galway.
The opposition, Village CC (new side, mates of Robert "Segment" Colvile), said they were "rather weak",
Batting-wise, they were.
Playing on a Royal Park bit of scrubland that made Greenwich look like Lords, Village posted 149 for nine off the 30-over limit (10 a side - Village gave us two players).
Rockie (two for 23 off six), Adam (two for 22 off six) bowled very well, as did Rob Sibson (a ringer from the oppo whose mobile number I pocketed) - 2 for 22 off three. Chris was tidy at one for 18 off four.
Sharp fielding, helped by an outfield of elephant grass, kept the boundaries down.
The champagne moment goes to Don, our West Indian star from the National, and JP for a stunning run-out combination.
JP kept superbly, his best effort yet - look out Tom, Rockie and Jack.
Sour moment when their umpire didn't give Village's best batsman out for an LBW off Andy O so obvious even the hippos in London Zoo behind us went up for it. He went on to get 28.
The Skip was nursing a sore calf muscle (yes, and the knees), so Chris and Ash went out to start Cincinnati's reply and knock them off.
Gulp! Shrewd move by the Captain (there's one a season) as someone bowling like Steve Harmison's younger brother nearly took Chris's head off with the first ball.
Waistline O'Moynihan would have fainted clean away.
At the other end, a niggardly, sharpish Kiwi called KP removed Chris with a good one.
Undaunted, Ash thick-edged KP to third man and decided there was two. There wasn't. Gift-wrapped run-out number one.
Adam slapped a Yorkshireman (always a good idea) but sadly straight to cover.
Enter JP to face KP. The vice-skip dug deep (why does he prospect for oil when taking guard - what's wrong with a simple line in the dirt to mark middle-and-leg).
A straight six and a swashbuckling effort but to no avail. He departed for 24.
Andy O had a go but perished for 12.
Cue the arrival of the hobbling Skip who chose Andy as his runner.
One scratched run was all he got. Andy, taking his lead from Ash, decided from the non-striker's end on a quck single even though first slip was already polishing the ball after an edge from Rockie.
Clunk! Happily, the Chairman didn't hear the Skip mutter "that's coming off your average" as we trooped off.
Solid effort from Rockie (12) and Village organiser Alex Page (10) for us as last-wicket pair but Cincinnati was all out for just over 100.

CCC v New Barbarian Weasels

2007-08-20T13:03:00.000+01:00

Don't you love it when a plan comes together?

A fine team win this, in damp and dark conditions at Greenwich.

The 'Natti made first use of the bed of snakes which is our home pitch at Greenwich Park. We must have been on the same strip that prompted Moyners to remark here upon being skittled for zero two years: "It spat like a cobra."

Well, Lurpak was undone by a delivery that "lashed like an eel", pitching a good yard outside off and cutting back to clip the stumps, from the Weasels' star opening bowler.

CCC were in deep trouble, losing the Skip cheaply and The Shot shortly afterwards.

Then Desperate Dan came to the crease.

With a mixture of patience and brutal hitting, he tamed the venomous combination of good bowling and horrible gardening which had ruined several batters' afternoons already.

On the way to an unbeaten and ultimately matchwinning 77, Dan lofted five sixes out of the ground, three of which came in successive balls, including one majestic straight drive which nearly destroyed Greenwich Park's sole surviving sight-screen.

The parakeets were not pleased.

In the Chairman's absence, the vice-captain provided a fabulous tea, adapting his now famous "ready, steady, bat" technique to the subtle arts of the kitchen. Happily, he had more success carving pork pies than short balls outside off stump. The feast was again augmented by lucky brownies from Amy, whose clinically obsessive compulsion to bake thankfully shows no sign of getting better.

After a rousing huddle, complete with our very own second-hand theme tune, Cincinnati's soldiers of fortune took the field to defend 167.

From somewhere near the covers, Moyners was heard to mutter, "I ain't gettin on no plane, you crazy fool", before Tom offered him a milk drink to calm down. (In any case, the Skip decided not to bowl himself, thus making it safe for air traffic to resume its normal flight path over Greenwich.)

An all-round effort of tight bowling from Rocky, Max, Adam, Chris and Dan - allied to some excellent wicket keeping from Tom - restricted the Weasels when they looked set to chase down our total. In the end, Weasels finished 20 runs short. It was a soggy but tense encounter.

:: Thanks to the excellent A-Team Shrine website for the pic of the boys (http://www.ateamshrine.co.uk/index.php).

2007-08-14T23:26:00.000+01:00

Chaps,

Just to clarify - there's a fixture missing off the list. It's on Saturday, September 1st against Village Cricket Club - new opponents who are providing the venue (I hope).

Scheduled last game is Sept 9 v. Frank's Finchley team at Finchley.

But JP and Andy O want to organise a final one against a team from the National Theatre. Any ideas for a venue and date, let either me or the Vice-Skip know - he never sleeps (especially in the hotel lobby at the end of the tour).

Cincinnati: the Tour of Glory

2007-08-13T22:25:00.000+01:00

Glory in Galway - the victorious 2007 team

Captain's Log: stardate - 13/8/07.

Selfish Batter's on his honeymoon, so it's left to the Skipper of all people to write up the 2007 Tour report.
By the way, may I just point out that although I will make an exception for Bevan (I have to - look at his batting average, folks), it is not club policy to be in a successful relationship in your private life. You have been warned.
And so to Galway and a string of successful decisions by by the Skipper in his grandfather's ancestral backyard, kicking off with booking a hotel about five miles out of town and picking the busiest weekend in the city's year (also known as the Galway Races).
Day One: the advance party drinks Freeney's bar dry, under the expert guidance of Tommy Glynn, mate of the Skipper's from way back when.
Our illustrious Chairman, reports say, wants to change his name to Andy O'Guinness.
1am: back at the hotel, the Skipper orders Max, Tim R (aka Lurpak) and others to stand up as the hotel bar band plays the Irish national anthem to close proceedings. The Captain goes to bed.
5am: the rest of the team apparently follows.
Day Two: Cincinnati v. County Galway Cricket Club. Our first match day dawns bright and fair, and then chucks it down for almost the entire game. To follow suit, Cincinnatians chuck down virtually every catch that came our way as Galway bat.
Are 10 chances really spilled? How does Lurpak still get three for 34 off six? Max snaffles one of them and is the only person to take a catch until new boy James "Tappers" Tapsfield performs an extraordinary three-part take off the Skipper's bowling, ending in a full-length dive. Bravo!

We almost forget that Tappers began the Tour by heading for the wrong airport.
Sadly, in another stroke of genius, the Captain agrees to the opposing skip's request to allow a "new chap" to have a bat at the end of the innngs.
Enter the honeymonster from Down Under.
"Muscles" smashes 50 off two overs. Four straight sixes off the skip's non-spinning legspin. The Captain even sends down a cowpat and that gets clearance to land at Galway airport a couple of miles away. Tim "Waistline" Moynihan goes for an economical 19 in the final over. Galway get 214 for eight off 40. The Vice-Skip (JP) considers a coup d'etat.
Cue a storming fightback by Cincinnati, based on a 130-run opening standing by Selfish (74) and Lurpak (71).
Sadly, Muscles turns out to be a dab hand at bowling. A triple-wicket maiden at the close wrecks our brave effort. Cincinnati fall agonisingly short on 207 for six off 40.
Day Three: Cincinnati v. NUIG CC (the Galway university side). Fine shines the sun on a historic day - our first win on a tour. When the Skipper takes a catch, it's a sign. Buy a lottery ticket.
Fine bowling (Jim one for 23 off eight, Selfish one for 12 off five, Frank four for 47 off eight, Andy O two for nine off 2.3 overs) and superb keeping by Rockie (didn't he used to be chairman? No? Oh, OK) restricts NUIG to 170 all out off 36.3. Rockie polishes off NUIG with a pearler of a one-handed catch off the Chairman's bowling, a la John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
A stubborn (that means dead-slow, scratchy and painful to watch) opening stand of 27 is posted in reply by Cincinnati by the Skipper and Stephen W (I won't use the doughnut boy line as he's rich enough to sue).
When Stephen departs, JP enters, looks in fine fettle but gets caught for just three, followed shortly by the Skipper who gets an absolute snorter (translation: misses a straight one).
No panic. Selfish (53 n/o) and Waistline (56 n/o) carry us home. Cincinnati close triumphantly on 174 (or 171, as it says in the picture) for three off 38.1 overs.
The match is played with fine sportsmanship from NUIG, including their club president Nitin (Rockie's getting ideas) and and the unforgettable "Durcacell"boy from Connemara, Sean O'Malley.
Ronnie, Stephen's father-in-law, surely enters the Guinness Book of records for watching the entirety of both tour matches. They'll never believe it in Ballygar.
Nitin treats us to pizza. We treat him and NUIG to beer. Was it a gay pub? Tappers discovers he's just tiled his new bathroom at home in the same style as the pub's gents toilet.
Day Four: More hospitality from Tommy Glynn and relaxation at the Salthill seaside resort on Galway Bay while the Skip heads inland to the old family homestead.
Amid emotional scenes at Galway Airport, the Chairman presents the Skipper with gifts worth exactly 15 euros 48 cents for organising the tour. Overwhelming. It's the thought that counts, including leaving the price tags on them. But why the leprechaun, chaps?
8.30pm: Tired but content, the tour party arrives back at Luton Airport.
All that remains is for a sweepstake on the train home on the age of Waistline's "fashionable" leather jacket (1997, he says. Er, yeah, right), won by Rockie.
Thanks to everyone - Galway CC, NUIG, Tommy and Malachi Glynn - for a great tour.
Stop Press: Next year's tour will be to Pembrokeshire, hosted by Selfish's old club of Stackpole and Bosherton.

CCC v Whitstable Labour Club, Whitstable

2007-07-25T10:27:00.000+01:00

On a rare sunny afternoon, Cincinnati travelled to the historic Kentish fishing town of Whitstable, famous for its Native Oysters and organic ale, to take on the local Labour Club (and sample the ale).

Last year's match at the Radfall Cricket Ground, just outside Whitstable, saw CCC win by nine wickets as the home side's bowlers struggled to contain the Skipper who was in the batting form of his life.
This year, some feared that the contest would be even more one-sided as we fielded one of the strongest batting line-ups of the season, with Selfish, Tom, Dan, Tim M and Jim all in the side - and all with runs behind them this season. The ECB's medical experts had even cleared the Skipper to bat with a runner for the rest of the year.
After a swift sharpener in the pub across the road, where the absent chairman was spotted pretending to be a Carp in the fishpond (we knew he couldn't keep away), Selfish and Tom strode to the crease to make first use of a good batting strip. There was talk of scoring 300 by tea...
Not for long.
Whitstable had unearthed a particularly rapid opening bowler who was getting swing and bounce with the new ball. To general alarm in the visitors' camp, both Selfish and Tom perished cheaply after some promising early shots and Cincinnati were about 30 for 2 when the two Tims came together.
Both had been short of runs recently but the joyous grin on the face of Tim M upon getting off the mark for the first time in three matches was probably visible from space.
The Tims put on a century stand which helped ease the Cincinnati score towards respectability as the Whitstable bowlers continued to apply pressure.
A valuable attacking innings from Jim saw the tail add another 30 or so and Cincinnati finished on 164.
A fine tea, including the now compulsory contributions from Amy, was demolished in seconds and, after a strangely controversial extra two overs of Cincinnati batting, Whitstable began their run chase.
For much of the evening Whitstable were in with a chance of chasing down our meagre total but they kept losing wickets. The highlight of our fielding performance was surely Mark W's pair of brilliant slip catches.
The first rivals the Selfish run out against the Actors and Ash's direct hit against the Saints for the title of this season's best fielding. The ball took the outside edge and flew low to Mark's left but he dived, flung out a hand and somehow got his fingers under the ball just an inch from the ground.
Jim roared in to bowl a spell lasting nearly two hours, getting quicker and angrier as his 12 overs unfolded. The rage which boiled within our star seamer was eventually responsible for denying the home side a win. They finished some way short and despite sometimes dangerous appealing, we couldn't take the last couple of wickets.
Match drawn. The wicket deserves a special mention - considering the amount of rain we've had recently, it played extremely well.
Scores: CCC 164 all out. TimR 62, TimM 35. Whitstable Labour Club c130-8. Jim 4-29.
Season so far: Played 8; Won 3; Drawn 1; Lost 3; Baffled 1.

7) Cincinnati v SB Select @ Battersea Park

2007-07-20T21:53:00.001+01:00

Selfish enjoyed a marvelous stag weekend with a nail-biting match v CCC. To be honest, it's all a bit of a blur now. I do have the occasional curious flashback in which the former chairman is repeatedly stroking my bowling through the covers, but I put that down to the pints of Guinness and Baileys that were served up to me later in the evening.

SB Select batted first. Brother of SB retired on 50, and SB and Phil got close to the half century.

CCC put in a tenacious performance: Jim and Max bowled well; the Skipper took a sharp caught and bowled; the Chmn teased a former Lord's cricketer with his nagging off-spin; Dev showed his potential to become a CCC all-rounder; the vice-captain and Will scored undefeated fifties; and the former chairman stood in for SB by scoring almost the maximum number of runs possible without having to retire.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think CCC ended up four of five runs behind SB Select.

I had a great day. Many thanks for your help.

Cincinnati v London Saints

2007-07-09T10:42:00.000+01:00

Sunday brought high drama to the timeless tranquility of Elstree in deepest Hertfordshire, where Cincinnati, fresh from a tense defeat in Ham, took on the London Saints.

As players walked to the Old Haberdashers' Ground, past neatly trimmed lawns and mock-Tudor gables, a warm sun shone benevolently on the peaceful heart of English suburbia. Geraniums blushed, gnomes nodded in immaculate front gardens, and two full tins of freshly baked brownies were safely conveyed to the match for tea.

But for a second week running, we were unable to spend long dwelling on the niceties - there was an unhelpful problem to worry about. We were again a team of only 10 men, and this time none of them was Simon.

It rapidly got worse.

Without Selfish in the team, Captain John "Happy" Pickersgill became utterly submerged in a Zen-like state of total selflessness. Even though our star batsman was nowhere to be seen, the skipper elected to go ahead and bat first anyway. And his peerless generosity continued during his own innings: without a moment's hesitation, he offered his front pad to the grateful bowler and was dismissed LBW, selflessly not taking up too much time at the crease.

The score had been moving rapidly along, though, with debutant Ash clubbing a mighty six over midwicket on his way to 17 and Dan, in more classical fashion, sweeping and driving to good effect.

But the wickets continued to fall and we were three down for 40-odd when Lurpak joined Will at the crease.

Both had been comparing hangovers on the train journey north and so decided that, with the loss of early wickets, the pitch keeping low and none of their available eyes functioning particularly well, it would be sensible to settle down and play quietly for a few overs.

With this in mind, Will opened his shoulders and carted the Saints' best bowlers to all corners of the field. He crunched good length balls through the covers, pulled anything short past midwicket and threatened several times to bring down one of the vintage aircraft droning overhead on its stately way to the aerodrome nearby.

At the other end Lurpak quietly went about remembering which end of a bat to hold and the pair put on over 70 together before Will finally fell for a dazzling 53. Lurpak left the scene soon after for 32 and Saints took a firm grip on the match again with some canny bowling.

At tea Cincinnati were all out for 154. It looked like an inadequate total on what was a decent batting pitch.

(Tea was impressive, with fruit, a good brew and a fine array of sandwiches. Crucially, it may just be, there were Amy's lucky chocolate brownies too - the same fortunate confections which had seen us home against old rivals BK at Greenwich earlier in the season.)

Max and Lurpak took the new ball but struggled to make an impression on some determined Saints, who looked like setting out to claim the runs required with minimum fuss. Both openers eventually fell to some late movement through the air and what was probably the best decision any umpire will make all year...

Saints stuck to their task, picking up the runs they needed without much trouble. But Cincinnati, too, showed mettle, hurrying the batsmen with some tight fielding, and trying to apply pressure with accurate bowling and threats of extreme violence from behind the stumps.

The turning point came - as turning points often do - with a moment of freakish genius. An agitated Saint drove crisply to our debutant Ash, who was standing deep at mid-off. Being new, Ash had not yet learned that the customary Cincinnati response is to let the ball sail through your legs and on to the boundary for four.

No, misguided soul that he was, Ash came steaming in and murderously hurled the ball at the bowler's end, scoring a stunning direct hit. A dangerous batsman was on his way and from then on, it seemed that either side could win.

The Chairman then took charge, plying his wily brand of flighted torture, while Steve, Adam and Max kept the pressure on. But with several wickets in hand Saints were in the better position and it looked like they would scrape home.

Then, with just five more runs needed to win, Saints lost their ninth wicket, bringing the last man to the crease. The nerve-shredding tension even managed to silence the chirping from behind the stumps as batsmen and fielders all focused on the one thing that mattered: not screwing up.

Enter Captain California.

In His Infinitely Selfless State of Inner Peace, John threw the ball to Desperate Dan, a batsman. Dan had never bowled for Cincinnati before and was thought to regard bowlers as kindly types who serve up nice red things to hit. No-one, least of all Dan, knew how he would react under the pressure, with one wicket - or three runs - needed for victory.

The breeze dropped. Fielders held their breath. A luminous rainbow appeared in the gloom.

The silence was shattered by the sound of splintering stumps, and then a raw, bloodcurdling howl - Dan had completely lost it as he was swamped by his euphoric team-mates, and Cincinnati had pinched a thrilling win by two runs.

CCC: 154 all out. Will 53. TimR 32.

London Saints: 152 all out. AndyO 3-12.

CCC Vs The Actors - a view from Denmark

2007-07-02T15:04:00.001+01:00

Scene: St George's Field, in the Kingdom of Denmark.
Fortinbras and his army approach.

ACT I
As bitter wind whipped across the blasted heath,
A band of men sought sanctuary beneath
A Royal Oak, near th' sporting ground of Kings,
Where deer once were hunted, in sunnier Springs.

But no soon'r had the Team of Ten arrived
Than their chosen fath'r, Chairman O, contrived
To lose his nether raiment, trousers white,
And with them seemed to vanish all his fight.

For all men know what naked soldiers need:
A tailor - or at least a noble steed
To carry dress for battle from afar.
Failing that, a wife or girlfriend in a car.

But Andy had no saviour near enough,
And took the field of battle in the buff.
No Scottish strap had he, nor trusty kilt,
As Jock was slain by John, who, bearing guilt,

Offered up instead a host of merry pants -
Clean, he claimed, and wholly free from ants
Were they - but hardly strong enough to lift
A Chairman's drooping spirit, this paltry gift.

So unhappy men bent weary shoulders
To th' task, while twixt rival chairmen smouldered
Embers others could not grasp - perhaps
A heat from past elections, or th' lapse
Of days since last they met. Much time apart
Surely sharpens pangs of passion from the heart.

Such were the struggles amid the showers
That drenched the scene, it seemed that mighty powers
Must intervene. And so the Captain, hurt,
But brave, returned again to lead us into the dirt.

ACT II
And this is how the tragedy unfolds:
Attacks came early and the Rock was bowled;
Then the Vice - wielding pick - unleashed The Shot,
But a second saw him sadly lose the plot.

Lurpak dropped as low as mallards fly
But could not evade the umpire with one eye.
Heroic hitting at the last from Max,
Alas, merely delayed the quivv'ring axe.

Only Selfish Batting kept the team afloat,
Till even Simon fell. With him sank the boat.

ACT III
At Tea, the ten slain men did eat and drink
But Amy's absent cake, so some did think,
Left void what even Ham could not re-fill.
A stirring speech from Skipper was the pill
Which waked our wounded heroes from their sleep,
And led them to the field again, to keep
Their noble breasts puffed out with London pride
So they could say, "If nothing else, we tried."

ACT IV
And so they fought again, with arrow and sling,
Bending their backs to tempt the ball to swing,
And these determined efforts brought reward:
Twenty runs and four key wickets on the board.

From the teeth of death, they pulled new life,
And it seemed that e'en amidst the fearful strife
This Team of Ten might steal a famous win.
And, Lo! Pigs did fly above the inn!

ACT V
For strapless jocks and spikeless socks, and even
Borrowing Andy's box could not help Stephen
Or his comrades overcome the Actors,
Who had with them the fortune and factors
Beyond the reach of even Swooping Jay;
Chief of them, The Limpet, whose lengthy stay
Crushed all hope from within the Team of Ten
And sent our wounded heroes to the bar again.

Here, scores would be settled and wounds licked,
While two chairmen, in their own war, bit and kicked;
A famous fight-back had come to naught,
And all in the name of leisurely sport.

5) CCC v Actors Anonymous - 1st July 2007

2007-06-30T10:28:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow's game will take place here. Click on the map to zoom in. The pitch is opposite Ham House. Ham House website says to take the 371 bus from Richmond, get off at the Royal Oak pub on Ham St and walk half a mile to the house/ground.

Team is: JP, Andy, SB, Max, Steve W, Chris, Rockie, Tim R, Jay, The Don, The Don's son.

Match starts at 2pm prompt. Please arrive around 1pm. 12.09 from Waterloo looks a good option.

A clap from a champ

2007-06-24T22:57:00.000+01:00

Selfish Batter today enjoyed a net with two Aussies who were passing through town. Sadly, they will not be available to face Actors Anonymous next weekend.

Please humour me by clicking on the second photo and playing spot the ball.

4) Cincinnati v Caribbean at Tooting

2007-06-17T11:41:00.001+01:00

Our Caribbean curse continues at Tooting - and this time we took a bit of a lickin'. Our batting display was pretty good. Openers SB and Tom put on over 100 for the first wicket, and we ended up with 205-9 off 35 overs. The highlights were a half-century from SB and handy 40-somethings from Tom and Will. Special mention goes to our self-appointed Best Player, who returned to the crease after a period of illness with thighs resembling Gladiator.

At tea-time, our two skippers consulted to hatch a bowling strategy. In retrospect, perhaps this picture marks the moment when things started to go wrong.

Unfortunately, our opponents had also noticed that there was a short boundary on one side of the wicket. Despite some valiant fielding, our bowlers took some heavy punishment as Caribbean reached the winning total for the loss of just one wicket.

At the close of play, our hands and egos bruised, we were left to ponder whether Tim M's pre-match musing of "I could have finished A Winter's Tale today" wouldn't indeed have been a better way to spend the day.

Result: Lost
Scores: CCC: 205-9 in 35 overs; Caribbean: 206-1 in about 25 overs.
Season so far: P4, W2, L1, ?1

Spot your favourite Cincinnati player

2007-06-11T22:33:00.002+01:00

The lull in the fixture list gives us a chance to go back to our roots and reassess our progress. Have a look at this episode of Dad's Army - there are some striking similarities to Cincinnati. The relationship between Mainwaring and Wilson is reminiscent of that between another captain and his vice. Corporal Jones's batting has something of the ex-Chairman about it. And the umpire's joy at raising his finger could apply to any one of us really.

Never resting, always testing

2007-06-11T21:04:00.001+01:00

The Chairman uses the gap in the cricket schedule to try out some possible additions to his tea menu.

Tim's bat

2007-05-25T10:01:00.000+01:00

We all wondered why he preferred a piece of formica to the traditional willow. This article explains all - look where the manufacturer has been based up to now! Great loyalty, Tim. Bad news could be looming though. In future, it might be a long trip if you ever need a replacement.

One-man show

2007-05-22T11:56:00.000+01:00

Saturday's was a fine win in quite the most picturesque of surroundings.
The idyllic Greenwich Park resembled nothing so much as a scene from a novel by Jane Austen.
Flowering shrubs at the boundary's edge echoed to the sounds of summer - laughing children, a breeze ruffling the sweet chestnut trees, the thwack of leather on ornamental parakeet.
As the smallest and fluffiest of white clouds skipped euphorically across the azure sky, nothing, it seemed, could blemish the perfection of this early summer's day. Even the neatly trimmed grass on the outfield appeared to incline gently towards the pavilion in generous and heartfelt approval.
How tragic, then, how unforgivable that such an idyl should be so abused, so ransacked, chewed up, should have the very marrow sucked from its being and spat out in ugly gobs of detritus upon the grass, as it was to be by the selfish actions of one, unnameable batsman.

No care did he have for the pink hydrangeas, the exotic birdlife or the quiet majesty of the stately home overlooking the cricket ground.
No thought could he spare for the young lads - and girls, too - who had been hoping desperately to try their hand at a game they had grown to love in the back gardens and holiday beaches of childhood.
Nor could any other appeal to basic generosity of human spirit ever hope to hold sway with Cincinnati's most selfish of batters when he was in this mood. So-called team-mates were reduced to hapless spectators as he carved up the bowling, gleefully tucking into long-hops and good length balls alike.

He offered not the faintest hint of courtesy to the tiring BK attack, apparently delighting in making even the weariest of bowlers weep into his threadbare boots. Pull shots crashed through midwicket. Drives boomed past forlorn fielders at cover, and parakeets shrieked in mortal terror as another missile pierced the tranquil air over long-on.
So self-absorbed, so intent on single-handedly plundering the whopper-filled BK take-away was he, that a bare nine balls were left unbowled by the end of the match.
In all, 110 selfish runs - more than half the 215 required to win - had been voraciously hoovered up by our hungry left-hander.

By noon on Sunday, the Royal Parks Constabulary had issued an e-fit of a man brandishing an awful lot of shots who officers said they would like to talk to in connection with an allegation of disturbing the peace.
The RSPB have now placed ring-necked parakeets on the endangered list after reports of a sudden halt in the mating activities of five nesting pairs.

And some spoke rashly of a re-match.

3) Cincinnati v BK at Greenwich Park

2007-05-18T12:09:00.001+01:00

A terrific victory against our old rivals. Not sure who won the toss but, almost inevitably, we bowled first. BK's openers looked in an aggressive mood, and it took some good bowling from Jim & Tim to keep the score down. Nevertheless, the board was ticking along and we were all relieved when Ross Bros got the measure of BK's first danger man and sent him to the changing room.

Their second danger man was more stubborn and ended up scoring a fine century. As for our bowling, the Chairman and Selfish Batter took a couple of wickets each before undefeated captain JP brought on a new trio - Caroline, David and The Don - to finish off the innings for us. All three did us proud. None of us could believe it had been 9 years since Caroline had last played cricket, David marked his CCC debut with an emphatic wicket and The Don gave an indication of how useful he could be early in an innings with a couple of slips waiting for an edge.

BK ended on 214-6 in 35 overs. Once again, our opening batsmen had to show great discipline. Not at the crease but at the boundary, as the Chmn served up the usual feast.

We needed just over 6 an over. Selfish Batter and Jim got things off to a quick start, and we never really fell behind the required run rate after that. We put on 60 for the first wicket before Jim was caught behind for 22. Tim R and SB added another 20 or so before Tim R gave way to Tim M. After that, Tim cut and Selfish pulled us to a third wicket partnership of about 140. Tim ended on 59* (I think - please correct me Tim) and SB on 110*. We won the game with 9 balls to spare.

A fantastic day all round: a beautiful ground, a brilliant win and a boring FA Cup final for anyone who chose to sit in front of the TV rather than Rock up to the cricket!

Team: JP, Simon, Jim, Tim R, Tim M, Jack R, Caroline, Don, David, Andy O (10-a-side game). Thanks to the skipper for umpiring and to our new supporter for patiently watching the cricket and helping with the tea - you brought us good luck!

Result: Win
Scores: BK: 214-6 in 35 overs; CCC: 215-2 in 33.3 overs.
Season so far: P3, W2, L0, ?1

2) Cincinnati v Caribbean at Tooting

2007-05-12T09:47:00.001+01:00

Team sheet: Oliver, Dan, Adam, Andy O, Rockie, Tim M, Tim R, Simon, Ed, Steve, Will.
Hmmm, a funny one this. For the second season on the trot, our opponents from Tooting only managed to muster 8 players. The most honest result would be 'Cincinnati win' after we dismissed all of their players for 80-odd. In order to give ourselves a challenging total to chase, however, we invited their batsmen to try again. The outcome was a target of 222.

We saw some good bowling displays again from Ed and the two chairmen (past and present). Debutant Will put in a tidy performance behind the stumps and we took some difficult catches in the field.

In reply, CCC had difficulty in getting going. After some early listing in the face of good bowling, Selfish Batter and Tim M steadied the ship with a carefully crafted partnership. SB selflessly conceded his innings one short of a half century, which brought Will A to the crease. Will showed us all how to pick holes in an 8-man field i.e. by hitting the ball over them all for 6. He was last man out for 31.

We ended up with a total of 150ish all out. Which was less than 222, or more than 80, depending on your perspective.

Thanks to the Skipper for umpiring all day.

Result: Void
Scores: Confusing
Season so far: P2, W1, L0, ? 1

2007 season - 1) Cincinnati v West XI at Kingston

2007-05-06T22:00:00.000+01:00

Cincinnati got off to a far more successful start to this season than last. It initially looked as though West XI would set us a target of over 200, but some tight bowling from Jim, the ex-Chairman, the new Chairman and Ed brought us back into the game.

The final total of 114 was never going to challenge our powerful batting line-up, particularly after our new opening partnership had taken us to 86 before the fall of the first wicket. After that, Young Tom showed us the full range of his shots - often to a single delivery from the loopy leggy - and the vice-captain looked in promising form until the skipper committed an act of sabotage.

Result: Win
Scores: West XI 114-10, Cincinnati 115-4
Season so far: P 1, W 1, L 0

Marathon Man

2007-05-06T21:46:00.000+01:00

Congratulations, Mr Chairman and Social Secretary, on a fantastic achievement in the London marathon. He's now so slim that you can hardly see him here as he skips past the 23-mile mark. Fortunately, we got a better shot of him below as he enjoyed an emotional reunion with an old friend shortly after crossing the line.

First half-century of the season

2007-05-06T21:36:00.000+01:00

Great to see a club stalwart celebrate another 50. At least, he claimed it was 50. Recount?

Paris tour 2006

2007-05-06T09:50:00.000+01:00

Our 2006 tour took us to Paris. After our Hänsel & Gretel adventures finding the ground, we drew one game and lost the other. The highlight of the tour came at the close of the Saturday game when the Social Secretary displayed his fine diving skills.