Reports just in suggest a Cincinnatian is taking secret batting lessons with a view to storming up the order this season.
According to well-placed sources, a senior, long-serving member of the team has privately engaged the help of a top batting coach behind the back of Cincinnati management.
The identity of the secret batter is as yet unconfirmed but perhaps you can unmask him.
It could be you've seen someone acting suspiciously outside the off stump or playing a highly unusual straight bat when a cross-bat swipe has always sufficed in the past.
May be you, or someone close to you, have heard the unmistakable sounds of secret coaching: the rattle of stumps being knocked over followed by "f**k! I'm wasting my bl**dy time and money!"
If so, do get in touch with the club police. The number is on page 4,986,999 of the current edition of Wisden.
But in the meantime, please - don't have nightmares. The chances of this person actually connecting with the ball are very, very remote. Sleep well!
1 comment:
Having been undone by the Chairman's genius in the nets this winter, could it be that Selfish Batter is "Secret Batter"?
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