CCC v BK - Greenwich

What is it about this fixture? Over the last few years, we must have played BK more than most teams and yet every time the two sides seem to end up locked in another thrilling contest.
This one, I would submit, takes the home-made cake.
Conditions couldn't have been more different from the previous week, when the sun beat down on a glorious afternoon and Greenwich park seemed to have slipped a few thousand miles south along the Prime Meridian to Africa - Ghana, or Togo, perhaps.
No, our home ground had rediscovered its true bearings on the chill eastern edge of the most famously miserable city in the world.
Wind howled through the white slats of the sight screens. Icy drizzle clung to newly budding trees. Shocked voles, emerging from hibernation, scurried away and threw themselves under lorries on Shooters Hill just to escape their frozen misery.
The Skipper, wisely, rigged the toss and chose to bat, mainly to give us the chance to thaw out after spending the morning forcing boundary markers into the permafrost.
Cincinnati's reliably egocentric opening pair of Selfish Batter and Selfish Butter (aka Lurpak) put on 48 for the first wicket. The partnership ended only when Lurp reverted to form after some unusually dashing shots and re-located that trusty outside edge.
Will and Simon drove and pulled their way to good scores but both fell short of 50 as BK's bowlers applied pressure and never let the Natti batters get away.
An immaculately executed 18 followed from Stephen, who looked for all the world as if he had wintered like a swallow in the warmer climes of Mark Ramprakash's Caribbean Batting Academy.
Important contributions from Rocky and the Vice Captain helped Cincinnati to 180 for 7 at tea as snow clouds gathered overhead.
In an inspired effort to warm us all up, the Vice Captain provided a glorious spread, including a pasta salad laced with explosive chillies. Amy (Mrs Lurpak) supplied the first tray of brownies of 2008.
Suitably immobilised by lard, we took the field to defend what always looked likely to prove an inadequate score.
Howling Mad Max had his first outing of the year and tore in from the Pavilion End (do we have one of those?) with a fine spell of fast bowling. He removed two key BK batters for just 26 runs off his allotted overs.
But the opposition were making steady progress towards their target, despite the best efforts of Adam and the Chairman to keep runs to a minimum. Rahman, Ferhan and our old wicket-keeping mate Pete pushed the score to within reach of our total with some determined batting.
That is, until what must surely count as one of the most remarkable transformations in modern cricketing history.
Selfish Batter, the mainstay of our top order for the past 350 years, dramatically, sickeningly, like some multi-headed slithering alien from Dr Who, morphed into The Incredible Selfish Bowler.
With a run-up that suggests an almost total contempt for the bowler's art, the ISB slung down a series of vicious swinging deliveries in the semi-darkness. From his near stationary position next to the umpire, he prized out three BK batsmen for no runs in a single crucial over, helped by some brilliant catching from Rocky. Normally, this is the sort of thing that other teams do to us, but suddenly Cincinnati were back in the match.
With just one over left and BK down to their last pair, the batsmen nicked another run.
The scores were level. There was one ball left and one run needed for a BK victory or a dot ball or wicket for a tie.
The ISB steamed in from no yards away, slinging down another yorker, but BK squeezed it away in the gap backward of point and took the crucial run.
Much credit to the final pair of BK batters for keeping their cool and curses to the rest of them for another amazing match.
Cincinnati 180-7 after 40 overs (Selfish Batter 42, Will 33. Josh 3-37)
BK 181-9 from 40 overs (Ferhan 40, Rahman 37. Incredible Selfish Bowler 3-18, Lurpak 3-43).

New season - Cincinnati v West XI, 11 May 2008

Cincinnati overcame challenges on and off the field to ensure a successful start to the new season.

Prior to the match, the Skip & Vice's long deliberations over the batting order (see previous post) had been thrown into chaos with a couple of late changes to selection. Ash's shock withdrawal on Saturday afternoon (most had been anticipating Sunday morning at the earliest) was followed by news that our "secret batter" was not yet ready to come out of the shadows.

Clearly upset by the last-minute confusion, the Skip decided to preempt the traditional coin-tossing ritual with a direct request to bat first. The rattled West XI captain obliged and, despite a sometimes tricky wicket, we scored 172-7 off 35. Main contributors were Lurpak (47), Selfish (36) and Adam (29*). The Ross Bros held things together with a fifty partnership in the middle overs and Adam hit out well in the closing stages. His straight six in the last over was bettered only by an amazing Caribbean-style step across the stumps and whack to the mid-wicket boundary.

Highlights of tea were home-made carrot and ginger cake (Chairman) and wedding cake (Lurpak). After the interval, our fielding and bowling were impressive. Selfish and the Chairman both took three wickets (the latter needing a 13-mile run to warm up for his spell), Lurpak and Adam contained well and the Skip got his first stumping of the season. Special mention to Jack for his excellent keeping. West XI ended on 153-8, 20 runs short of victory.

Who is the Secret Batter? Can you help?

Reports just in suggest a Cincinnatian is taking secret batting lessons with a view to storming up the order this season.
According to well-placed sources, a senior, long-serving member of the team has privately engaged the help of a top batting coach behind the back of Cincinnati management.
The identity of the secret batter is as yet unconfirmed but perhaps you can unmask him.
It could be you've seen someone acting suspiciously outside the off stump or playing a highly unusual straight bat when a cross-bat swipe has always sufficed in the past.
May be you, or someone close to you, have heard the unmistakable sounds of secret coaching: the rattle of stumps being knocked over followed by "f**k! I'm wasting my bl**dy time and money!"
If so, do get in touch with the club police. The number is on page 4,986,999 of the current edition of Wisden.
But in the meantime, please - don't have nightmares. The chances of this person actually connecting with the ball are very, very remote. Sleep well!

'Hotshot' good omen on eve of season opener!

Pre-season training for senior Cincinnatians at Whitstable fete paid off handsomely yesterday.
The Skipper knocked spots off the opposition (mainly five and six-year-olds but also including the ex-Chairman) at the coconut shy by hitting this fine specimen from all of two yards.
The Skipper told Cincinnati News: "When the (fish and) chips are down, it's time to step up to the plate.
"This is an early warning to the opposition not to try any quick third runs this season when I've got the ball.
"Sadly, the ex-Chairman took 'coconut shy' literally and missed by a proverbial mile.
"The Vice-Skip refused to take up the challenge but far be it for me to point that out."
Warning: anyone who alters this caption to read 'Which One is the Coconut' will bat at 12 throughout the season (rockie, is that OK? I know it's your usual position).