Selfish goes on strike at the crease but Cincers still thump Saints by 166 runs

Selfish turned militant union shop steward at the crease yesterday to down tools in a first-ever strike by a Cincinnati batsman.
The Welsh (batting) wizard was left fuming after his first century of the season (well, first for a couple of years, to be honest) apparently went unnoticed by scorer Rockie.
The one-over dispute mattered little on a day when Cincers racked up the runs - 252 for 2 off 35 - to humble opponents London Saints who could only muster 86 in reply.
Saints arrived with grim memories of previous encounters with our opening batting partnership of Selfish and Test Match.
They didn't disappoint.
The 100 partnership came up in the 19th over, with both looking impregnable but with Selfish especially plundering the accurate but gentle Saints attack.
But as Simon neared (reached? passed?) his century mark, controversy erupted.
Despite the Skip sharpening the scorebook pencil before start of play at Dulwich on Sunday, Graham was accused of missing a trio of Bevan boundaries.
Result? Selfish raised his bat to mark his 100 to be met by confused looks from Rockie who had him on only 85.
Outraged, Bevan balloted himself on strike action and then played out an entire over without scoring a run.
The industrial action was lifted only after ACAS, sorry, the Skipper politely asked Selfish to return to work.
But the strike upset Test Match's rythym and he was promptly bowled for an impressive 57.
Shortly after that, Selfish grudgingly celebrated his 'official' 100 but then cheered up and sportingly retired on 104 approx. not out.
However, he later discovered that Rockie had marked it down as 'retired out'. That won't help his average.
On a coolish day, Cincers, who'd won the toss, pressed on. Test Match was bowled for an impressive 57 to leave us on 167 for 1.
But Tom and Asim - borrowed from BK - provided the fireworks to add 73 off the last five overs.
Tom went berserk with a bat borrowed off Cincers' Naveed to whack 47, including a towering six that clobbered the portable scoreboard.
Saints got off to a slow but steady start but Abid, opening up, soon made inroads - to begin with, thanks to a blistering catch at gully by Tom.
From then on, the wickets came steadily with Abid finishing on three for 16 off 7 (including a sharp catch by Naveed to dismiss the Skip's mate John).
Rockie took 2 for 30 off 7 but were the Scorebook Gods punishing him when JP missed a skier which would have given him a third wicket? Probably.
The Skip risked a nosebleed by returning figures of 3 for 15 off 5, including two in two - including one 'hit wicket'. New keeper Afzal also took a smart stumping for the Skip's third when Hasan (technically on our books but playing for Saints) came down the wicket.
Just before the end, Test Match's Amy arrived with freshly-baked brownies to power Cincers over the finishing line.
It was all over after 24 overs.
Other bowling figures: Naveed 1 for 1 off 2, Asim 1 for 2 off 2 and Sean - making his Cincers bowling debut - a nervous but brave 0 for 18 off 1.
Thanks to Saints for a great day.
:: Pictured above - our batting trio of Tom, Test Match and Selfish with the (dented) scoreboard.

Cincers come up short after no-show by three players and Vice-Skip gets toothache

Cincinnati fell 41 runs short yesterday in a thrilling encounter with the old enemy, BK.
In a high-scoring game at Greenwich Park, Selfish scored a blistering 66 - probably his quickest 50 yet for Cincers - while Adam showed again he's a class bat with a cultured 55.
But the match ended when Ed was run out to one of the Skip's trademark suicide singles - the 'I've hit it so it's a run' reflex which has cut short many a stay at the crease.
But the game only went ahead with the generosity of BK after three of our men simply failed to show.
We knew we'd be down to 10 as JP had toothache.
We didn't know that Adnan, Khan and a new player would not turn up.
Just before the toss, they were supposed to be on their way but it was never quite clear if they were on their way to Greenwich Park.
BK had very kindly loaned us fielders and eventually turned the game into a nine-a-side as the three musketeers never materialised.
The Skip lost the toss and BK's Max opted to bat in a 40-over contest.
Cincers actually took the field with six players as Sudeep had also been held up.
Big Jim, making his debut for the season (hello, mid-June!) was immediately on the spot but without luck.
Ed opened up at the other end and soon had BK opener Simon LB (for the second time, some thought!).
But BK were soon piling on the runs at an impressive rate - partly helped by our depleted bowling resources.
Fielder Ripal took a fine catch off Selfish to remove opener Asim.
Enter the Skip's flighted leggies for what proved a traditional spell of carnage and lost hopes.
He was of the opinion - i.e. threatened to go to judicial review - that he had Gaurav banged to rights for LB. It wasn't given. Boundaries then flowed.
Tom came on and stemmed the tide, and Selfish put paid to Gaurav (for 50) with a nice slower ball.
But BK's Ferhan (56) and Pete (42) still plundered the runs until Pete departed for his classic red mist dismissal against the Skip - stumped smartly by Adam.
BK finished on an impressive 253 for 7 off 40 with Selfish the pick of the bowlers with 2 for 20 off 8. Bit expensive for him.
Ed bowled very well - before his arm went - with 1 for 34 off 6 and Sudeep coming on towards the end for his first Cincers' spell had 1 for 14 off 2.
The rest of us went round the park a bit.
Even Jim - 0 for 49 off 8. Tom had 1 for 59 off 8 and the Skip's figures were 1 for 64 off 8. Miserly for him.
A fine tea - burgers from BK and rather nice spot of cake from Jim's wife Lucy - followed.
Selfish then tucked into BK's bowling with a vengeance. The pick of his shots was a glorious extra-cover drive and a straight drive that would have taken out the Skip umpiring had it not hit the non-striker's stumps.
Tom, opening up with Selfish, was left almost a spectator.
Cincers creamed past the 50 mark well on course until Simon was undone by a ball which lifted sharply.
The old adage - get one, get two - came true when Sudeep popped one up first ball to BK's Simon at short mid-wicket.
Tom perished for 12 before Adam and Jim settled in to give BK some serious stick.
That included a towering six from the big man before he was bowled leg stump.
JIm left confessing he had 'pre-meditated' the shot.
The batmen borrowed from BK were suitably Irish given the Skip's ancestry.
One - Keith - even comes from the same Ballinasloe neck of the woods as the Skip's forebears.
May be that's why he went for a duck but Sean - playing only his third innings ever - got 19, including a mighty six.
Adam eventually went to a sharp caught and bowled. When Sean went too, it left Cincers 51 runs short with only the last pair - Ed and the Skip - at the crease.
They put on 10 before the afore-mentioned daft single.
Cincers closed on 212 for 8 (all out) off 33.3 - not a bad effort, all considered.
Thanks again to BK for allowing the game to go ahead.
The moral of the day?
We're doing ourselves no favours by struggling to get players - even many so-called regulars - every week.
It's a cricket team, chaps, not just a social club.
Use it or lose it.

Batting heroes Alex and Adam put Actors to the sword as the Ham sun shines on Cincers

Cincinnati notched up a fine win this weekend over Actors Anon in the first of our two encounters this year.
Not even Actors' demon opening bowler Sanjeev could prevent Cincers reaching 197 for 6 off 35 after we won the toss and batted first at Ham.
It didn't start well.
Test Match got a unplayable ball from Sanjeev which took the glove. He went for a duck.
The always unpredictable Ham wicket continued in a very nasty fashion with some of the best shots from Selfish and number three Alex B being their leaves.
Apart, that is, from an classic, lofted straight drive with which Alex deposited rival skipper Jamie over the ropes.
Selfish was just getting into his stride - two fours off consecutive balls - when, like Test March, he too copped a vicious lifter and was caught behind.
He walked. 'Thanks, Bat,' chorused Actors.
JP arrived and began the recovery with Alex, before drilling one to a fielder..atonishingly, in a backward point, gully-type position. Odd, that.
Enter Adam S, full of confident, 'got to be done' attitude.
What followed won us the match - a stand of 93 with Alex and Adam even seeing off the return of Sanjeev...to the relief of the Vice-Skip and new man James waiting to come in.
Adam had no idea he'd reached his maiden 50 for Cincers. Hence the sheepish flick of the bat by way of bemused acknowledgement of the cheers and applause from team mates.
Earlier, Alex had arrived at his first half-century for the club, achieved with first use of his new Salix bat.
Was it properly knocked in?
'It is now,' said Alex.
Right on cue, the Skip's aunt and uncle arrived - complete with opera glasses for Auntie, - to see him stride to the crease after Adam got out for 53.
Two overs, one ball left.
So what does he do with the first ball? Leaves it.
The opera glasses wobbled.
But in the next over, the Skip for once got runs in front of square, a cover drive for three through the ring of Actors who'd all come in expecting the traditional dribble round the corner for a streaky one. That'll learn 'em.
The shock of the shot took its toll on Alex. He was caught behind for 57, leaving James and the Skip to scramble a few and take us to 197.
After tea, Actors survived a few early chances and sadly, Max - returning after a long lay-off for injury - pulled up after just two overs.
Tim replaced him.
It was Sam who struck first, courtesy of a brilliant diving - or was it tripping? - catch by Alex W.
Then the Vice-Skip took a fine catch at gully, also off Sam.
Tim struck in a fine spell to remove the number 4 but the key wicket came when Sam bowled Sanjeev who had carved his way in fine style to 29.
Meanwhile, the Skip's first over ended in traditional fashion - a trio of boundaries and instant retreat.
Selfish replaced him, much to the frustration of Actors who couldn't get him away.
He finished on 2 for 8 off 7. Show off.
Alex W was given a spin at the other end. Among the wides and odd no ball, he shipped down a few of highly sharpish deliveries. Memo to coach Frank - one to work on for the winter.
In the meantime, Sam took a fine high catch at mid-on off Selfish.
The Skip brought himself back on after Alex and brought proceedings to a close - partly by combining with Test Match who caught the non-striker several miles out of his crease with a brilliant stop and calmly tossed the ball to the bowler who whipped the bails off.
There was also a couple of late wickets for the Skip's leggies, one caught at point by James and a juggling, almost-dropped caught-and-bowled.
No matter that one of the batsman was fresh out of knee surgery and could hardly walk. They all count.
Actors finished on 143 all out off 30.5 overs.
A fine game played in the usual Actors/Cincers'competitive spirit, including some sledging of umpire Andy by Alex W after a series of wides and no-balls were called.
Other bowling figures: Sam 3 for 39 off 7, Test Match 1 for 22 off 7, Alex W 0 for 29 off 5 and the Skip 2 for 16 off 2.5.

Caribbean smash 250-plus but storm clouds come to Cincinnati's aid at Greenwich Park

One day, we'll beat them.
But for now, thank god for that late downpour that meant Cincers' first game against Caribbean for two years was abandoned.
When the rains came, we were perilously perched on 66 for 6 off 17.1 overs, chasing Caribbean's 268 for 9 off 35 overs at Greenwich Park.
That was gentle for them. Longer-serving Cincers are still scarred by the 375 for 5 off 40 Caribbean hit a few years back at Sevenoaks Weald.
But even this time (May 16), Caribbean started as they meant to go. Our first ball, or may be the second, disappeared for four.
The barrage continued even as the wickets fell.
Sam finished with 3 for 41 off 7 while Tom stepped up to the plate after the Skip bowled one over of juicy full tosses, took pity on the passers-by and took himself off.
Tom got 3 for 33 off 6 - highly respectable given the opposition.
Ed chipped in with a wicket as did new boy Khan with 1 for 38 off 7.
The tea that followed was heavy on the pork pies (from Ocado, caterer to the Skip who was providing his first spread ever).
But sadly, not heavy enough as Caribbean looked nimble in the field and hungry for wickets.
Selfish and Tom started like the proverbial train. Then both were derailed.
JP was run out for a duck, new boy Adnan was bowled for nought and Adam S holed out for 13......hooking.
'Got to be done,' he chirped to batting partner the Skip as he departed.
Er, why?
All that remained was for the Skip himself, a fine judge of his off stump, to leave one.
The off stump survived. Pity about the middle one, though.
Then it rained. Chucked it down. Deluge.
Thank you, Lord.

Craig nets record-breaking wicket haul but Cincers still crash on wicket from hell

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.
It was certainly the worst of pitches, a threadbare, sandy outfield and a diabolical track served up by the rather pricey Regent's Park.
But Craig bowled himself into the club record books with an astonishing spell that completely bamboozled our old rivals BK and restricted them to just 128 all out.
On a freezing, cloud-covered day (May 9), the Yorkshireman took every single wioket to fall to a bowler, the other one being a run-out (BK had only 10 men).
But somehow, somehow, we contrived to lose.
BK's Max won the toss and opted to bat. Stuart, back from his long exile, and Test Match bowled tight, hostile spells without success. One chance went down when new man Alex W spilled a sharp one.
(Alex with his trademark quick fag before, after and sometimes during the action is picking up the mantle of the much-missed John Burgess).
BK were well over the 50 mark for no loss when Craig took his first wicket.
What followed will probably never be repeated in Cincers' history.
Apart from a run-out, he took the lot, five clean-bowled's, two caught's and one fine stumping from keeper (and fellow Tyke) JP.
But it wasn't over for the shell-shocked BK-ers.
Craig marched off and promptly told the bemused scorers to remove three runs from his figures, insisting they were leg byes.
The result: 8 for 20 off 7 overs, eclipsing even Test Match's stunning 7 for 56 off 15.2 overs at Whitstable in 2008.
One difference, though - in the Kent match, Test Match won us the game in a thrilling one-run victory.
In Regent's Park, Cincers miserably failed to do Craig's performance justice and were all out for 102 off 28 overs, with only a very late rally holding up BK.
Stuart batted superbly for his 30 not out, Alex W got 10 and last man Craig stubbornly held out for several overs to give Cincers faint hope of victory.
But earlier, not one of the top order reached double figures.
The Vice-Skip got a brute of a first ball while the Skip, normally capable of sticking around, was triggered LB by the Vice-Skip.
Cue a bad-tempered departure by the Skip whose mood as an umpire later one was not enhanced by JP shouting to Stuart and Alex 'Come on, lads, we can still do this!'
We ended 26 runs short.
Sorry, Craig.

Six-hitting Sinclair and BK's Pete get Cincers off to a winning start over West XI

Cincers began the 2010 season in winnning style last weekend (OK - this report is a month late so use your imagination) with a triumph over our traditional opening opponents, West XI.
A chilly day at a new ground for both of us in Walthamstow began with the Skipper losing the toss and Cincers being put into bat in a 35-over match.
A decent batting line-up, with Selfish and Test Match opening up, looked poised to begin in classic Cincinnati style.....an early innings collapse that left us teetering on 59 for 5 off 17 overs.
Selfish, Test Match, new man Tarang and Tom all departed cheaply, leaving Pete - borrowed for the day - the only hope of a competitive total.
Enter the Skip with his full array of shots (forward defence and leave, anyone? Plenty to spare).
The unlikely combination of Pete's biffing and the Skip's nurdling brought up the first 50 stand of the year until Pete went for 34.
When the Skip went soon after for a monumental 11 and new man Sudeep holed out at mid-wicket, it was left to Ed Sinclair (back after a couple of seasons off with injury) and Sam to take us on.
Selfish, whose scoring had been largely confined to pencil and scorebook, then 'advised' the Skip to tell the lads to take it easy as there were several overs left.
'OK,' said Ed respectfully before hitting one of the non-Jim biggest sixes in the club's history - right over mid-wicket, sending a snoozing Test Match scampering for cover among the kitbags.
Ed finished up on 29, Sam on 16 and Cincers had somehow got to 170 all out off 32 overs.
West XI looked confident but they have a history of early season batting traumas. Why else do we play them in mid-April?!
Early breakthroughs by Sam and Ed were followed by a swing master-class from Test Match who took 4 for 12 off 3 before the Skip took him off to give someone else a go.
So no five for then...
Rick Bullock, another loaning from BK for the day, took two wickets for 11 and West XI were all done and dusted at 97 all out off 22.4 overs.
They want to play us later in the season next year wjem they've warmed up. Spoilsports.
* Other bowling figures: Sam 2 for 23 off 6, Ed 1 for 13 off 4, Craig 1 for 22 off 4, the Skip 0 for 11 off 3.

2009 Season - Results

20 September - Bedford Row - Home - Won by 37 runs
6 September - New Barbarian Weasles - Away - Won by 154 runs
23 Aug - Finchley - Away - Lost by 46 runs
16 Aug - Actors Anon - Home - Won by 54 runs
9 Aug - Old Wimbledonians - Away (Raynes Pk) - Cancelled
26 July - Portugal Tour - Lost by 1 run
25 July - Portugal Tour - Lost by 5 wickets
19 July - Whitstable - Away - Draw - Whitstable 157-10; CCC 130-9
12 July - Village XI - Away - Cancelled
5 July - BK - Home - Lost by 5 wickets
28 June - Old Wimbledonians - Away (Raynes Pk) - Lost by 93 runs
21 June - Caribbean - Away - Cancelled
14 June - Saints - Away - Beer match - Won by 5 pints & a hattrick
14 June - Saints - Away - Won by 9 wickets
7 June - Actors Anon - Won by 5 wickets
23 May - JP's 40th
17 May - Finchley - Home - Lost by 62 runs
10 May - BK - Home - Lost by 125 runs
26 April - West XI - Away - Won by 46 runs
19 April - New Barabarian Weasels - Away - Won by 6 wickets

2009 AGM and annual awards

Player of the year - Big Jim
Batsman of the year - Tim M
Bowler of the year - Selfish Bowler
Rock Award - Danny boy

Club officers all defended their patches successfully.

Final day triumph gives Cincers a winning season after Selfish and Jim put on a show

Cincinnati closed our 10th anniversary season on a high yesterday with a thrilling victory over Bedford Row at Greenwich Park.
The 37-run success, with Big Jim and Selfish Simon starring as match-winning all-rounders and JP shining behind the stumps, means Cincers have won more games than we lost for the 2nd successive season.
But this was no push-over, with Bedford pushing us the way in a hard-fought contest.
The day dawned after an overnight deluge in (sought-after) south-east London left the normally bone-dry pitch damp and stodgy.
Big Jim eyed up the pitch and send 'Bat first, Skip'.
Whereupon the Skip promptly lost the toss and got inserted by opposite number Richard.
Selfish and the Skip opened, with the aim of establishing steady platform.
That was the intention. The Skip, though, saw some mates arrive to mark his birthday, waved madly and then set off for a suicidal single.
A direct hit by opposition keeper Stephen meant no happy returns to the non-striker's crease and the Captain trudged off in search of compensatory birthday cake. It came later.
A mini-collapse - Frank got a good-un and new-boy Nick was caught - left us on 17 for 3.
Bevan isn't called Selfish for nothing and he relished the chance to score all the runs.
Aided by Simon Hall, Selfish notched up his 50 while the entire team score was only 65.
But the partnership with Simon H was crucial, taking us toward the 100 until 'H' tried to hit out and was bowled.
May be he was distracted by repeated yells of advice from Nick, who despite playing his first game and getting a duck, continued to reproach the Cincers' batting from the sidelines. Bit like Ash but with technique.
No doubt to Nick's disgust, Selfish then holed out for 60
An otherwise good-spirited contest got a bit spicy when Be.dford's skip appealed for a caught behind off JP's bat by sprinting up to umpire Toby (a mate of the Skip's and the guy he was waving at when he ran himself out).
Toby was unimpressed. 'Not out'.
Meanwhile, Big Jim got into his stride whacking his way to 35.
Late on, Abid and Andrew put together a vital last wioket stand which brought us to 175 off 34 after the skip told Bedford that Andrew was totally new to cricket.
They promptly - and very sportingly - slowed the bowling down and Andrew smashed his first ball for four.
'Are you a con artist?' asked Bedford. 'Yes,' shouted a Cincer from off the pitch.
A fine tea - supplied by Selfish and Mrs Selfish (aka Kerry) - fortified us for the struggle ahead with Bedford needing 5 an over.
Big Jim and Sam opened up, initially without success.
But Jim has been in unstoppable form with the ball and soon removed the Bedford opener's middle stump with a perfect yorker that left the batsman on the floor and the stump likewise.
Another middle stump later and Bedford were struggling.
A flurry of boundaries helped them back up to the run rate while a difficult chance off Sam's bowling went down in the deep.
Enter Selfish who not only pegged the rate back but snaffled a wicket straight away - the key one of Bedford number 3 Tony who had played some sumptuous drives.
At the other end, Frank - who had struggled to control his swing - got in on the act by bowling oppo keeper and fellow Aussie Stephen.
Strangely, Frankie didn't do his usual 'on your way, mate' cheerio thing. Must be a 'fellow Antipodean code' rule.
Wickets continued to tumble, with Nick - 'come on, Cincers - we're better than this' (no, we're not) - doing the cheer-leading.
He also took two catches, the second off Abid a top-rate over-the-shoulder effort.
One wicket to go and about 50 to win but the light was fading.
So at one end, the Skip brought his whirling, loopy leggies on....and watched burly Bedford skip Richard whack one for 6.
Gulp! Is the silly fool going to lose us the game?
JP, standing in manfully for absent full-time keepers Jack and Adam, clearly thought so.
When the Skip finally got one to pitch and turn, he whipped the bails off to stump Bedford's last man Daniel.
Game over! Season ended! The victory we'd been after.
All that was left was for Selfish to unveil a surprise birthday cake for the Skip, complete with several bottles of sparkling shared with our rivals Bedford who were fine sports.
The bowling figures: Jim 2 for 14 off 6, Sam 0 for 32 off 7, Frank 3 for 34 off 7, Selfish 3 for 18 off 7, Abid 1 for 20 off 3 and the Skip 1 for 17 off 1.5 overs.
We rejoice and are glad.
Men of the Match: Selfish and Jim.
* Many thanks to Chris for fine fielding at square leg and for not throttling the Skip when he didn't get a bowl, to Abid for turning up at very short notice to make us 11 and taking a key wicket, and to newcomer Nick for heckling us and fielding like a pro.
And thanks to everyone this season if you played only one game or played them all.
More than 30 people played for Cincinnati this year, easily a club record.
We had 19 scheduled fixtures not including JP's 40th game.
One match - v. London Saints - included two games. Only one fixture during the season was cancelled due us not being able to field a side.
Two went west after cancellations by our opponents.
Final tally: won 8, lost 7, drawn one.
See you all - or as many that can come - at the AGM.
** Picture caption: a suitably blurred snap of the Skip and Vice celebrating their fine bowler/keeper double-act which brought the curtain down on the 2009 season.

Cincers snare Weasels in time game as Big Jim hits the button marked 'Magic!'

Stand aside, Stuart Broad - we've got the new Flintoff and he's called Jim.
The big fellow rescued Cincers from the nightmare of defeat to Weasels last Sunday with a blistering 75 not out - his best so far for the team.
Then he topped it with his first-ever five-for to ensure we won a nerve-jangling time duel.
In another first, Test Match made his debut as keeper with none of our regular wickies available.
Weasels won the toss and put us into bat in a time game on a sandy, slow-looking wicket.
Selfish opened up with the Skip for company and proceeded to pick off the accurate but gentle stuff being served up.
We got to 40 before the Skip made a big mistake. He tried to hit one and was bowled for a dazzling two. The score was 40.
Weasels' opening bowler Ged (I think) later lamented: 'Didn't mean to do that. All I did was bring in a batsman.'
Enter Test Match but Tim didn't find the two-paced, bouncy wicket much to his liking.
Right after the Skip mused to the point fielder what a good player he was, he sliced one straight to the same fielder.
Dan came in but also didn't fancy the wicket. He was caught before fencing a slow lifter on the legside.
The order was specially rejigged for this game, partly to let Max have a go as it might, sob!, just might, be his last game for us.
The homesick Kiwi showed his gratitude. He got bowled for a duck.
To make matters worse, Selfish got caught down the legside after another 50 (they come round so often, it's hardly worth a mention).
Cincers were rocking at 92 for 5.
David Hughes, making his first appearance for us this season, then steadied the ship with debutant Simon Hall who looked a handy bat.
Right on cue, then, he whacked one to mid-wicket and departed. 100 for 6, which became 110 for 7 when David went for a valuable 16.
Weasels were licking their lips. Victory at last against Cincers looked on.
It looked even more on when Jim half-lofted one just out of reach to mid-on.
That left Dan from BK, who was helping Cincers out, with Jim.
Sadly for Weasels, Jim then turned it on.
Ably supported by Dan from BK - who was helping us out on the day - Jim went ballistic.
One poor guy came on to bowl and disappeared for 27 (4, 6, 6, 4, 6, 1). He didn't get another go.
But Jim followed it up by hitting the last over for 23, including a couple of head-high no-balls which he blasted for sixes.
Dan notched up a useful 15 - his highest score of the season.
Cincers finished on 206 all off 37.
That left us roughly 30 overs to nail Weasels and keep the season alive (so far, we'd won 6, lost 7).
Weasels started cautiously against Jim at one end and Max at the other. There was no chance of them getting the runs.
Had we left it too late? Should the Skip have declared earlier?
Then Andrew, a new signing playing his first game of cricket, pulled off an inspirational catch at first slip. With the ball dying on him, he somehow got his fingers underneath it.
17 for 1. That rapidly became 22 for 2 after Selfish, fielding under a lid close in on the leg side took a fine catch off Max.
Wickets continued to tumble until Weasels found themselves 27 for 6 with 20 overs to go.
Stout resistance then kicked in. The Skip came for three fruitless overs (we'll forget the dropped catch, David) and Max took a well earned break, replaced by Selfish who had been desperately windmilling his arms to attract the Skip's attention.
It worked. He came on and quickly took a wicket, a slightly contentious LBW which had the batsman storming off and chucking his bat down not once, but twice, in fury.
At the other end, Jim got his length and finally bowled the last remaining Weasel with five overs left of the day and with Weasels only just over the 50 mark. Victory!
Jim finished with 5 for 19 off 11, Max 3 for 23 off 9 (his best-ever figures) and Selfish refused to be left out with a ridiculously-measly 2 for 0 off 4. Yup, four maidens. The Skip's return was 0 for 6 off 3.
Many thanks for new boys Simon Hall and Andrew Goodson for turning out at short notice and to Dan from BK.
So that's 7 wins and 7 losses and one draw. Win our last match on September 20 and Cincers will have a winning season
Man of the Match: the Skip for arranging the fixture, letting Selfish introduce Jim to the club and for putting Andrew at 1st slip. (Only joking - it's Jim of course).

Ashes victory lifts gloom as under-strength Cincers come up short (again) at Finchley

Nail-biting excitement, twists and turns, unbearable tension. Sunday's game had it all.
Pity all that was the Ashes at the Oval.
Up at Finchley, Cincers - admittedly minus key players moving house or soothing their aching back (Selfish and Lord Rashbrooke respectively) - were doing what we do best on that fine ground.....losing.
Not even Frank temporarily deserting Finchley for the day to play for us could end our poor run.
The Skip got the ball rolling by calling 'heads' at the toss. It was tails.
Finchley 3rds then tucked in to our bowling to rattle up 233 for 6 off 40.
Opposition skip Guy notched up his 50 and then said, did we mind him retiring as they had an important match next week?
We didn't. It was the only way we were going to get someone new on strike!
But then Test Match switched from seam to spin and quickly snaffled two for 30 off 8 - one of them a blinding slip catch from John 'my shoulder hurts' Pickersgill at first slip.
A taste of things to come? No. Sadly, JP spilled a sharp one of the Skip and Cincers still struggled to get break-throughs.
Frank had opened up at one end, economically but later, Rockie took a fair bit of stick on a lightening outfield.
Newcomer Mike Frame was wayward at first before falling over, banging his head and then taking two wickets (Note: we'll be practising this in the nets over winter).
Bowling figures: Frank one for 22 off 7, Tim 2 for 30 off 8, Mike 2 for 34 off 5, the Skip had one for 38 off 8.
For humanitarian reasons, it is better not to mention Rockie's figures or Chris's.
Oh go on, then - Rockie: none for 66 off 8. Chris: none for 25 off 2.
Tea - the traditional fine Finchley spread - was topped off with posh cake from Jack (yeah, right. Thanks Jodie).
But disastrously, the brownies were late. In fact, Test Match Tim didn't even know there were going to be any. Amy arrived with the trademark cake-tin just as Cincers were going in to bat.
Opening up was Biraj from BK - deputising for Selfish - and Test Match.
Decent start against tight bowling, with 45 off the first 10.
But Biraj perished off a short one.
Tom trotted in but the normally dynamic duo of Lowe and Test Match were becalmed against accurate fare from Finchley who were fielding a stronger side than they brought to Greenwich Park earlier in the season.
After 20 overs, we were still a run or two short of 80 - needing nearly eight an over off the last 20.
Sharp words from the Skip had failed to bring any hurry up but Tom and then - shock of shocks on his recent form - Tim M failed.
Frank came in at five and then we did hurry up. We started taking risks and putting their fielders under pressure.
In fact, the Aussie - in a gruff mood for some reason..hmmm...wonder why? - and Test Match almost got us back on track with the run rate.
But this is Finchley. We never win here.
Frank got caught behind and shortly afterwards, Test Match got run out.
The rest was history, including Tim M triggering Jack for LB despite having scoffed a fair bit of Jodie's cake not two hours before. His way of saying thanks.
We were slow with our overs and so were Finchley, meaning the match ended in gloom and inevitable defeat. Cincers finished on 187 for nine off 40.
Test Match top scored with 67 while Frank got 38.
Result: Cincers lost by 46 runs.
The morale of the tale?
Who cares! We won the Ashes!
* Cincers Man of the Match: Test Match for his two wickets, his 67 runs and his spat with the Skip about getting a move on.

Double brownies takes Cincinnati over the finishing line and Selfish over 2,000 runs

Back to winning ways
Cincers put tour defeats behind them this weekend to notch an impressive victory against Actors Anon at Greenwich Park.
Selfish reached the extraodinary milestone of over 2,000 runs for the team in (almost) four seasons while Tim M wielded the formica to his second successive 50 at Greenwich Park.
Actors acting (no pun intended) skip Jamie won the toss and put Cincers in a 35 over contest in very warm sunshine.
Problem. Test Match had been up all night as the flats above were leaking water into his.
Happily, Amy's brownies - a double helping, no less - were unaffected but the Skip had to get the pads on to resume his old opening role with Selfish.
Note: the Vice-Skip was absent with an injured shoulder. 'I've been dropped.' No, you had an injury. See you next week.
Anyway, the Skip rapidly realised that with Actors comes Sanjeev. He bowls at about 70-odd mph.
Oh dear. Selfish played him superbly and the Skip survived a few off him, including a rather fine backward cut (guess who's writing this rubbish).
It didn't last long. After seven overs, Sanjeev shivered the Skip's timbers bringing Tom to the crease.
He looked on form. More than that, he hit a sparkling cover drive. Through the offside. Yes, the offside. All along the ground.
Tragedy. He then edged one behind on 17 and did what is now known as a Whitstable Walk - so named after Tom walked at Whitstable last month before coming back and querying the dismissal.
This one involved a scenic route out to square leg, a sharp left and then a pointed glance back at the umpire. Who was unmoved.
Enter the Shelving. Tim M is on sparkling form for Cincers.
He soon began spanking the ball to all corners while Selfish powered his own way back into form, punishing the over-pitched ball on a lightening quick outfield.
Actors have a good attack but were probably a bowler short on the day.
Selfish passed 50 without a murmur of applause from Cincers looking on. Not even an acknowledgement from the Meerkat hunched over the scoreboard.
He then passed 2,000 runs for the team since joining in 2005. Still nothing.
Eventually, clapping broke out for Selfish's 63rd run. A new milestone to be marked throughout the cricketing world.
The emotion got to Selfish who promptly got out for 65.
Shelving was joined by Test Match, and the two took Cincers to an impressive 212 for 3 off 35. Shelving finished on 62 not out (he does play for another side but he doesn't get out for Cincers) and Test Match ended on 28 not out.
Tea. What a tea. A joint production by Amy and Test Match. Sumptuous.
Oh god, we've got to take the field. May be one more brownie.
What followed was a curate's egg. Good bowling mixed with dross, not helped by a rather sharp interpretation of the wides rule.
New player Inam - courtesy of Abid - struck a vital early blow removing Actors' Turner who has hurt Cincers in the past.
Then Max bowled a beauty to remove batsman Flood.
Actors revived with number three Sanjeev - he of the quick bowling - smashing his way to 23 until bowler Test Match combined with point fielder Tom to remove him.
Max chipped in with another while the Meerkat put in an impressive spell of 2 for 31 off 6, including the key wicket of oppo skipper Jamie for 35.
Wides, loads of them, marred the performance even allowing for hasty signalling from the umpires.
Actors' Richard tried to wind up one of our number by quipping that the bowling was 'too cr*p to hit' or some such. 'Just a bit of sledging,' the batsman chuckled.
But keeper Adam put in another polished performance by removing batsman Knox with a fine stumping off Craig.
The Skipper brought himself on with nine down and bowled one ball.Owzat! LBW.
Actors were all out for 163 but including 27 wides.
You can't blame the brownies. You can NEVER blame the brownies!
* Man of the Match - Selfish for a superb innings and congratulations on an extraordinary milestone of 2,000 runs.
** Quote of the Day - Tom. 'Skip, I think you should open all the time, with me at 3. You can blunt the openers but I'm always guaranteed to get in fairly early.' Thanks, Tom.
** Other bowling figures: Inam 1 for 21 off 4, Test Match 2 for 25 off 4, Craig 1 for 40 off 6, Abid 1 for 11 off 2.

A damn close run thing - Cincers fall at the last hurdle in thrilling finish to 2009 tour

Whoever said it was easy.
Cincers looked like a deflated balloon at the end of this thrilling duel in the sun.
Day Two of the tour, and this time, Cincers had only a short drive from Cartaxo to the ground.
Still not on time. Big Jim was greeted by one of our opposition - Prebensen, an Indian side from a local factory - with a unique welcome. 'Hello. You are very late.'
The toss again went Cincers' way but this time, the Skip put in the opposition in - mindful of the batting performance the day before and of the night on the tiles in Cartaxo the night before.
That included Big Jim failing to gain access to the one and only nightclub, much to the disgust of veteran clubber JP.
'He who hesitates is lost,' the Vice-Skip observed of Jim's halting attempt to gain entry.
And so the cricket.
Max and Sledger opened up for Cincers, with Jim clearly bruised from his club rebuff.
Sledger took an early wicket before Lord Rashbrooke got in on the act by bowling the opposition skipper and the number four.
But at the other end, opener Amrit began smashing his way to a formidable 80.
In the field, Cincers had a so-so game, with the odd chance going down or - in the case of one skier that landed near the Skipper - not being chased in the first place.
When he came on, Big Jim bagged two - including the key wicket of Amrit off a smart catch by keeper Jack.
This being Portugal, there was the odd language difficulty.
In particular, the Skip's frenzied 'on the boundary, please!' was clearly not in the team phrase book as one of his floaters disappeared for a six over someone's head.
(You know who you are. Please now hang it in shame.)
But Jack took a brilliant stumping off the Skip who got another one bowled.
The Chairman came on to take a wicket in his second over to leave the oppo all out for a formidable 210 off 37 overs.
Jim had 2 for 43 off 8, Max 2 for 34 off 8, Frank 2 for 42 off 8 while Tim had one for 42 off 4, with his wicket coming off his very first ball.
The Skip took 2, for 41 off 5 while the Chairman had one for 1.1 overs.
The Meerkat, formerly known as Rockie, left the fielding lamenting that he hadn't had a bowl.
His time was yet to come.
Tea/lunch was, if anything, even better than Day One with a Portuguese fish pie by Mrs Buccimazza and far too much good stuff to go with it.
When Cincers replied, it was a case of oh so near.
Selfish went - for him - early again after getting unluckily caught down the legside for 17.
But Test Match, wounded by his duck the day before, turned on the skill to hit a superb 69.
He was ably supported by the Vice-Skip who took the odd blow but racked up 26 before getting bowled.
Dan holed out for one but enter the Meerkat to give more than valuable support.
Just when it looked as though Test Match would be there till the end, he was caught behind.
Tragically, there followed two run-outs and just a single from Big Jim, leaving the Meerkat and Max to take us right to the wire.
Three balls to go and four needed. Oh dear, Max holes out after a brave 17.
The Skip comes in.
Four off two. The Meerkat hits the penultimate ball for a scrambled couple.
Two off one for victory. One for a tie.
Cruel game, this.
For probably the first time in his cricketing life, the Meerkat goes back to one and...is bowled!
Cincers lose by one run off the last ball.
Pandemonium as the oppo go wild. Cincers look devastated. We were.
But well played to the Meerkat for a thrilling 33 that took us so close.
Still, beer in the pavilion, a presentation - of a Warsop Stebbing new ball to the victorious opposition skip - and farewell thanks to Sandy and Fatima Buccimazza for hosting us.
The traditional end-of-tour dinner in the Cartaxo hotel featured tour awards, with special citations to Dan for his battling performance on Day One, and for Big Jim for his bowling.
Test Match and the Meerkat were suitably toasted for Day Two's tremendous batting performance but Man of the Tour award went to Max for a fine opening burst and fine all-round effort.
Pass the port.
* Picture caption 1: Big Jim pretends the Albergaria scoreboard is a nightclub bar after being refused entry the night before
* Picture caption 2: 'Does anyone know where the cricket pitch is?' Our dynamic minibus team of Test March and the Meerkat grimace, sorry, grin for the camera.

Helicopter stops play but Cincers lose their way in the heat of the Portuguese sun

Another year, another historic tour for Cincers.
The team travelled the furthest yet in the desperate search for a win - 1,000 miles south of Greenwich Park to a cricket pitch deep in the interior of Portugal via Lisbon.
With vines and olive trees as a backdrop, the Oeiras Cricket Club at Albergaria near Cartaxo on a hot Ribatejo afternoon is about as far as you can get from Caribbean at Tooting under leaden skies.
Sadly, the result was pretty similar but the experience was unforgettable - with fantastic hospitality and welcome from club president Sandy Buccimazza and his wife Fatima.
Day One dawned bright and fair with Cincers setting off in convoy from Lisbon to the pitch, after a slight hitch with the minibus.
There wasn't one. At least, not at the pick-up location in the city. Test Match and Rockie - the anointed driver - had to zip off to the airport to get a replacement.
That done, the team in three vehicles took to the high road for the ground, about 40 miles up the river Tejo from the capital.
Intriguely, Rockie's route involved almost coming off the A1 motorway as soon as he'd got on to it and treating his passengers to a fascinating tour of the backstreets of Lisbon before rejoining the main road one junction on.
And touring wouldn't be touring without one nervous breakdown for the Skip after the minibus missed the turn-off for the ground and arrived - after a car was despatched by the opposition to find it - about 45 minutes after everyone else.
No matter. The Skipper won the toss and put Cincers in.
Test Match, whose credit card had guaranteed the minibus to the tune of 2,000 euros, had obviously focused on helping Rockie avoid scratching the behemoth ('Rockie, the ditch! Avoid the ditch!') and not on his batting.
He got out, for nought.
There then followed a doughty stand against some very fine Oeiras bowling between Selfish and 'Sledger' (some of you know him as Frank) which took us to a healthy 46 before Sledger departed for 29 with the score on 46.
Seventeen runs later, Selfish went too.
In the meantime, Dan set about compiling the highest score for Cincers of 39 in a courageous innings - not least as the Oeiras change bowlers seem decidedly quicker than the openers.
Wickets tumbled in the middle order until Rockie and Max staged a minor revival at the close but Cincers 129 for 8 off 35 was never going to be enough.
In between, the Skipper - ever one for breaking new ground - became the first Cincer to pull away from the strike because a helicopter - dousing a fire in a neighbouring field - was in his line of vision
Just as well. He went to score.......three.
The sumptuous tea - more like a full-blown lunch - with home-made pastries, salads and cakes as well as beer and espresso - took Cincers' mind off the mountain to climb.
Oeiras's generosity in the pavilion was not matched in the field as they put on over 50 before losing a wicket.
A mean spell by Big Jim - three for 24 off seven, including one courtesy of a fine catch by the Vice-Skip - left him the only Cincers bowler to make much of an impression though the Chairman took one for 19 off four and Rockie - henceforth to be known as the Meerkat for his er, idiosyncratic run-up, one for 23 off three.
Oeiras, sportingly led by their skipper Nic Green, eased over the line with five wickets to spare.
Cincers took the hiding like men and handed Oeiras a replica of the Ashes trophy as a momento.
We should have given them a nice engraved trophy too but that stayed in Clapham and missed the flight over.

Whistable Labour Club v CCC

Cincinnati had two causes for celebration last weekend: a fine half century from founder member Mark Wright and a gritty draw earned in a timed match against Whitstable Labour Club.

Several CCC regulars toasted Mark's 50* on Saturday night in Whitstable where - possibly in a sign of growing maturity in the CCC ranks - no injuries were picked up in this year's party games.

Come early Sunday afternoon, Cincinnati players took up their usual starting positions in the field. We made the perfect start when the WLC opener hit Rocky's first ball to square leg where debutant Ben took a good catch. Our opponents then made steady progress with John Butterworth hitting a stylish half century. But wickets fell quite regularly throughout the innings. The Skipper, with the wind and slope behind his flighted leggies, took 3 wickets; Selfish, uphill and into the hurricane, got two. Tom pitched in with one before our Whitstable regular, Roger, finished things off with 2-8. WLC closed on 157 all out.

The innings will surely go down in CCC folklore as the day we finally found a solution to Tom's tendency in the covers to throw in the ball a good few yards over the keeper's head: posted on the deep point boundary, he returned the ball right over the bails to earn us a vital run out (after a dramatic one-handed misfield, of course).

Following a high-quality tea, the Wright Bros - Mark, Steve and Paul from Paris - led the CCC response. Steve in particular displayed great determination in the face of 10 overs of angry medium pace from the WLC opening bowler. Selfish contributed 41 to the middle order before making way for Jack, JP and an admirably disciplined Tom.

With the run rate creeping up, a draw seemed a safe back-up option for CCC. After all, we had 4 wickets in hand with just four overs to go. A trip to Whitstable would not be complete though without a nail-biting finish. A mini collapse - including Tom walking for a catch off his forearm for 28 - left our final pair in the middle with two overs to bat out.

Rocky danced his way through the penultimate over to leave the Skipper to face the last 6 balls. Bren heroically blocked us to the safety of a draw - a good result that leaves us undefeated in 4 trips to Whitstable.

Man of the match was the Skipper for a Montyesque display of accurate spin bowling and match-saving batting.

Shelving O'Moynihan tucks into BK for a brilliant 97 n/o but Cincers go hungry

A stunning 97 not out from Tim Moynihan rescued Cincers from another humiliation at the hands of BK on Sunday.
The formica-flashing Moyners despatched the fine BK bowlers to all corners of Greenwich Park to register his best knock yet for the team and give Cincinnati hope after another faltering start to the innings.
Sadly, it was all in vain as BK triumphed for the second time this season.
For once, the Skipper took advantage of winning the toss to put us in.
Unfortunately, Test Match departed in the first over to a snorter from BK's Rashid (Test Match walked after gloving it) while the bowler was also too good for Ash.
Cincers' pinch-hitter departed for a duck.
Newcomer Rick introduced himself at number three with the cultured shots of a batsman.
What a day, then, for JP to give his first LBW since the Romans pulled out.
'I felt sick in my stomach,' said the Vice-Skip. Not as sick as the Skip felt standing at square leg.
Rick, though, was right in front and left with no grumbles.
Enter the Shelving. The Mighty Moyners - bruised by being dropped by his other club -meant business.
Just as well. The rest of us didn't until Abid joined him with seven wickets down for an innings-saving partnership.
In the meantime, Ash made up for his duck by triggering two Cincers when he umpired - both LB!
BK insisted both were out but it'd be nice if Ash's finger hadn't shot up almost before Mr Ball met Mr Pad.
Abid finished with 34 before perishing to a fine catch by BK's Simon at cover.
Tim M battled on to finish just 3 short of his century. He'd stopped counting at 50!
The 176 total off 35 overs was probably never going to be enough against BK's powerful batting line-up.
Add to that, BK's Dan (well, his wife actually) served up a tasty tea - augmented by the world-famous brownies provided by Amy (aka Mrs Test Match) - to slow us down in the field.
But Cincers started superbly. Test Match, the first slip formerly known as Lurpak, picked up a stunning catch off a lifter from Max.
Ironically, the man out was Biraj who scored a 50 in Cincers' colours earlier in the season.
The wicket was a false dawn as Asim, his opening partner, carved his way to 40.
The Skip dropped him, a sharp chance at shortish (no jokes, please) midwicket off Max.
A bowling change brought Rick on with his leggies and brought Asim down to earth, caught at backward square off a mishit. The catcher? Old Bucket-hands himself - Max.
The Skip chipped in with three overs for 11 but no wickets as did Rockie (none for 19off 3).
All the while, Simon pressed on though not at his best (thank God after his three sixes off the Skip earlier in the season), with the odd edge flying up but not to hand.
Rashid, having snaffled three Cincers with his bowling, put the game out of Cincers' reach with a powerful 47 until he was smartly stumped by stand-in keeper JP off Dan's one over at the end.
In the meantime, Max at mid-off had given us the faintest of hopes with a brilliant run-out.
Sadly,that just brought in big Pete, the BK keeper, who chanced his arm to smash a quick 19.
BK got the runs off 31 overs, with 5 wickets down.
Main Cincers' bowling figures: Test Match one for 37 off seven, Max one for 29 off 5, Rick one for 28 off 7 and Abid none for 35 off 5.
The usual four or five jugs of ale in the Hare and Billet with BK's skipper Max, Pete, Simon et al soothed Cincers' pain.
The story of the day was, we were outgunned by a fine team.
Mind, we should make them work harder for our wickets - ahem, the Skip being a case in point after whacking a loose one straight to a fielder.
'Batting is based on a good defence,'
Many thanks to Rick and fellow Cincers debutant Khan for turning out for us.

Duel in the sun ends in knock-out for 10-man Cincers as Skipper feels the heat

Fears that the Captain had gone done with sun stroke were voiced last night after he won the toss and put Old Wimbledonians into bat!
With the mercury rising, the Captain led Cincers into the Raynes Park desert, sorry, field, muttering something about 'It'll be hotter than this in Lisbon. Best to be prepared.'
Six hours later, over Guinness and Stella (Artois) on the OW's terrace, the frazzled-Great Leader reflected on a 93-run defeat.
'D'you know, it might have been better to have a bat first,' he said.
The Vice-Skip departed loo-wards, sniping: 'Runs on the board. Every time.'
The day began inauspiciously (look it up).
A late replacement - somebody called Nan - didn't turn up.
Then strike bowler Sam rang the Skip shortly before the scheduled start.
Sam: 'Afternoon, Skipper. Have you got a first-aid box?'
Skip: 'Er, no but why?'
Sam: 'I've stubbed my big toe on an escalator. Bleeding badly. Plaster?'
Skip: 'Barman, another whisky please!'
Then Will, our number 3 batting blitzer, arrived to announce he had a very bad back or could it be a kidney stone on the way?
Cincers took the field with a depleted bowling line-up, with Big Jim, Tim R, Max and Rockie all absent.
So Selfish opened up with Ben Gill gamely at the other.
OWs began at a sedate, solid pace but without losing a wicket.
Ben struck first when OWs opener Matt Irvine (one-time playing partner of both the Skip and Rockie) charged him and Will took a steepler at cover (Hmmm. Bad back's shaping up).
Sadly for Cincers, a second-wicket partnership between Muckerjee and Ferguson pushed OWs towards a healthy score until Muckerjee (54) obligingly pulled a long hop from the Captain to Selfish at short mid-wicket.
Sam, meanwhile, had bravely offered to bowl with much limping and 'only off a few paces' excuses.
Newcomer Nick Bentley (wrongly introduced to OWs by the Skip with words 'the new bowler is Bent') sent down five overs - including not a few beamers.
Alex, our languid occasional left-hand batsman, also chipped in as did Tom and a late flurry of wickets saw Selfish almost get a hatrick.
The innings closed at 210 for 7 off 40 after some superb fielding by Cincers, with Ben a stand-out performer and Nick also pulling off some great stops.
Selfish had 4 for 11 off 8 (it's suppposed to be a team game. Can someone please tell him?), Ben 1 for 41 off 8, Sam one for 39 off 7, the Skip one for 32 off 6 while Nick had 0 for 45 off 5, Alex none for 25 off 4 and Tom's two overs cost 13. Cincers took tea confident that a top order of Tom, Alex, Will and Selfish (dropping down to 4 for a rest after his bowling).
Some rest. Tom played on/left one, depending on who you believe, in the first over and Alex was yorked in the next.
Will began impressively but Selfish holed out at point. Worryingly, the ball was hit directly at the umpire who happened to be the Skip.
Then Will was caught behind.
Wickets continued to fall until the Skip joined Adam S at 62 for six.
Having kept superbly, Adam now started batting in the same vein, with some gorgeous cover and straight drives.
A partnership of 52 ensued, thanks to the Skip's occasional dribbled singles and Adam's sumptuous strokes.
A rare attempt at an aggressive shot by the Skip led to his downfall, having crafted five runs (nose-bleed territory for him). 114 for 7.
Sadly, we only made it to 117 even though Tom was allowed back in as our 11th by courtesy of OWs captain Lawrence.
Ben was controversially given out LBW by the Skip. 'The silly fool, he thought it was going to hit the wicket but it would have missed the sight-screen,' said one malcontent.
Tom was left-stranded on 3, having hit four from his first knock. Cruel would it be to point out that was a combined total of seven was one more than the six overthrows which came off his attempted shy at the stumps earlier in the afternoon.
The day ended with the Captain leaving the field with a crazed look and muttering 'Look! Over there! Yes! Yes! It's an oasis!'
PS: Many thanks to Nick and Ben for stepping in at short notice and to OWs for a great game, nice tea and facilities.

Rockie - still fibbing about his age as 10-man Cincers score two victories in one day

Two triumphs in one day, plus top-notch brownies - Sunday's encounter was paradise on earth for Cincers but hell for the London Saints.
Cincers' first-ever hatrick - Testmatch, take a bow - Craig's 4 for and Adam S's stunning keeping left Saints self-shocked.
A 10-man team minus Big Jim, Selfish, the Vice-skip, the Chairman (need I go on? 'No, shut up') reduced Saints to 60 all out in Elstree after the Skip won the toss and put the oppo in with debutants Greg and Russ still not at the ground. The M1, a nightmare apparently.
Saints started as they meant to continue with an opener getting run out without facing a ball (smart fielding from Ben Ellery whose brother Finn played for Saints).
Craig 'Light under a Bushel' Woodhouse stole the bowling headlines with 4 for 14 off seven while everyone else chipped in including Sam Ladbury who played despite a mighty hangover (Will, are you reading this?)
Rockie turned in a wicket maiden while the Skip took the final wicket just to thwart Craig's five for.
Cincers then got the runs for the loss of just one wicket (step forward the Skip, out to a sharp catch at first slip for an nose-bleeding eight!) while Testmatch notched up 39 not out.
Time for a beer match of 10 overs and mass run-out suicides by Cincers (Greg and Russ, my office, please).
Hang on! There's Max smashing the ball to all corners. Up the order next game, Lord Rashbrooke.
Rules were one over each apart from keeper Adam. Just enough balls for Testmatch to take Cincers' first hatrick! 'Does it count, Skip?' Sure does, if only because the tea-time brownies from Mrs R. were award-winning.
Behind the sticks, Adam turned in a superb spell of keeping all day, with three stumpings in the short game (one off the Skip and two off Craig) plus a brilliant run-out although credit (most of it) must go to the Skip for bellowing 'Bowler's!' in his left lughole. After all, Adam's throw that took the stumps out at 24 yards was just mechanics once he'd got directions.
Saints needed six of the last ball to win but Rockie's 'drifter' (he calls it his faster one) baffled the oppo's last man.
Thanks to oppo skipper Peter and the Saints team for being such sports and good hosts on a tough day for them.

CCC v BK, Greenwich Park, May 10

Surveying the battlefield at high noon, the Captain's face darkened and a small cloud appeared above his forlorn sunhat.
“We’ve been given the end strip again. Just look at that short boundary,” he grumbled, to no-one in particular, or rather, no-one at all, as most of the team were still some miles away, near London.
“We’ll have to re-use yesterday’s pitch, like we did last week,” he informed a bored squirrel, who nonetheless paused mid nut, and raised a furry eyebrow as if to say, “I know your game – you’ll try anything to get your leggies to turn.”
So alone, save for the wildlife, the Skipper began to push stumps into the parched earth. Sighing the heavy sigh of captaincy, he completed one set and trudged, head bowed, to the other end to begin to construct another.
But there a rogue pebble brought his enterprise sharply to a halt. The Skipper must have spent half an hour trying like some cricketing Sisyphus to roll a stone out of a stump hole. Nothing could force it to move.
In exasperation, he finally fell to his knees, cursing his luck, and accepted that he would have to bowl on a pristine wicket, with a microscopic leg-side boundary. “This, surely, will be the graveyard of legspin as an art form in the modern game,” he sighed.
As in so many things, the Skipper was half right.
In fact, the short boundary proved completely irrelevant once the match got under way.
Despite a tidy opening spell from Lord Rashbrooke and Test Match Tim, which reduced BK to about 60-4, the batsmen soon found the bowling to be irreproachably hospitable and the outfield quick.
Runs piled up faster than Tim Moynihan’s plate during tea as two of our oldest BK friends helped themselves to a pair of 50s. Wicket keeper Pete eventually departed, stumped by his opposite number Jack off the Skipper’s bowling, but not before crashing several flighted deliveries to the ropes. BK’s very own Selfish Simon, however, went on to make a brilliant hundred and finished unbeaten on 103.
It was his first innings since 2007 and he looked like a man who had been starved of full tosses and longhops for far too long. We were, perhaps, a little too ready to oblige in putting that right.
The Cincers fielding was little better than the bowling. Test Match reminded the watching parakeets why his original nickname was Lurpak by buttering a catch to his left at slip and other chances went begging as the ineptitude spread.
But first prize went to one mesmerizing moment of paralysis where the Ross brothers nominated each other to field a looping catch off the Skipper’s bowling (“No, I insist, it really is all yours old thing”… “But I simply couldn’t, dear chap – after you” etc). Predictably it fell to the ground between them, quite an achievement given that one was at slip and the other keeping wicket.
BK finished with an imposing 255-7.
Tea was a magnificent affair of firey pasta, fresh cherries and gourmet sandwiches courtesy of the vice-skip, and augmented by a tray of Amy’s brownies.
What followed on the pitch, though, was stomach churning.
Despite a strong batting line up, even without our Selfish Simon, Cincinnati wilted under the pressure to achieve such a huge target.
Taking their queue from the Skipper’s earlier trouble with the stumps, every man in the side became inexplicably obsessed with woodwork. Nine out of 10 ‘Nati batters were bowled. The other, Steve - always one for doing his own thing - trod on his stumps instead.

By the end of the innings the wood at both ends had taken a fearful hammering and Cincinnati were all out for just half the BK score.

If only we'd used that other strip...

BK 255-7. Simon 103*, Pete 60. T Ross 3-28, Lord Rashbrooke 1-27.
CCC 134 all out. Tom 21, Ash 21. Rasheed 2-12, Josh 2-19.
Result: Lost by 121 runs.

2009/2 West XI v CCC by The Skipper

Test Match Tim combined with Big Jim and 'broken bat' Bevan to lead Cincers to a superb 46-run triumph on Sunday.
An extraordinary new ball opening spell by Jim and Tim rescued West XI to 24 for 7 - yes, 24 for 7, folks - and rescued Cincers from a disappointing batting effort.
It was extraordinary we were playing in the first place.
Over a dozen regulars were not available, including the Vice-Skip with a sore foot, Rockie studying for an exam and the Chairman also out (family engagement - three-line-whip), for a match which looked destined for cancellation late last week.
Step forward a quartet of new boys, including Biraj - kindly lent by BK.
After the Skip won the toss and with an experimental batting line-up (yup, stand by for disaster), Biraj biffed his way to 51, accompanied by elegant left-hander Alex until he discovered the joys of a slower ball and had his off-peg readjusted.
Test Match arrived at the crease with his new bat and Cincers sped towards the century mark when Biraj holed out.
Selfish strolled out with his trusty Salix, and we seemed set fair - our traditional stout opening partnership at the crease and 100 almost on the board.
Tragically, Bevan discovered a whopping great crack in his bat (kept it indoors over winter, central heating etc, tut, tut, Rockie will be furious) and had to use Jim's for the rest of his innings.

'Too heavy,' he muttered before clipping a catch and departing for 12.
O me miserum. Cincers slumped from there to 147 all done, with Tim bowled for 22 and various zeros along the way....including a second-ball duck for El Capitano and for Chris.
Briefly, Jim gave us some 'magic', including a forward defensive that nearly went for a straight six, while new boy Ben imitated absent Will to hit 15.
Tea came with Cincers contemplating defeat against some fine bowling, not just from West XI's Neep but from others including Chris Dane and Aussie opener Mr Boden. West XI's skip Chris Wright - who could be joining us on tour in Portugal - was a bit rapid.
Over winter, Tim politely pestered the Skip about fielding at first slip. He forgot on Sunday and took up post at fine leg.
The Captain, of course, never forgets (apart from match fees) and promptly ordered Tim to his new post.
After Big Jim removed West XI's keeper Bapu by shivering his timbers, Tim took a spectacular to-his-right slip catch - just like on the telly!
Selfish hates being out of the limelight so he took a brilliant forward-diving, ball-inch-off-ground catch at cover to give Test Match his first wicket.
And so it continued, Jim whipping out four for 15 off seven and Tim three for 9 off 7.
New boy wickie Adam Smith kept superbly behind the stumps as West XI subsided in a heap.
All over? Not yet - bowler Neep turned in a blistering 64 (next top score in his side was 7!) to keep Cincers at bay, advancing down the wicket and carving the second-string around the park despite desperate dives all round including from new boy Mark Hookham.
We also managed to spill five catches....
The Skip's leggies (0 for 27 off 4) wilted and Selfish (one for 8 off 5) seized his chance to restore order.
Eventually, Neep holed out off Alex's medium pace (two for 7 off 3) to a beautifully judged outfield catch from Selfish who also took the last wicket.
Now he has to buy a new bat. Jim's isn't good enough for the likes of him. Typical.
Result: CCC won by 46 runs