We are a London-based cricket club. Although we don't have our own pitch, we usually play our home fixtures in Greenwich Park. This blog records our regular triumphs and occasional failures.

Monday 21 July 2008

Cincinnati v Whistable Labour Club - Whitstable

Cincers began their coast-to-coast march across the UK with the annual trip to Whitstable. The local Labour club once again served up a well-kept pitch and a splendid tea - terrific hosts. As for the game, only Hollywood could have come up with the plot that unfolded.

The Skip won the toss and decided to bat. He and Rocky got us off to a steady - some might say slow - start. Their partnership was broken when Rocky mistook Brendan's cry of delight at middling a wide one for an instruction to run. Poor Graham never stood a chance.

Dan ended the watchful nonsense with some fine attacking batting. He and Lurpak were joint top-scorers on 31 - until Tim added a discretionary 12.5% tip to his score, rounding it up to 35. Our guest Roger made a useful contribution at the end of the innings and the Wright Brothers scampered a single off the final ball before tea. Who would have guessed the significance of their effort at the time?



We ended on 130-9 from 43 overs. Custodians of the spirit of the game would have been gladdened to see Cincinnati at least come out to field after tea in the wake of last year's vulgar decision to whack a few more boundaries after enjoying a slice of cake. The relief however would have been short lived. After Batting On After Tea last year, the Cincers this year challenged etiquette by Only Using Three Bowlers All Innings. More on that later.

As we took our positions, the Vice Captain was looking subdued at point (his preferred patch of the cricket field). John had picked up a thigh injury during drunken antics at a house party the night before. A sad indictment of a Beverly Hills lifestyle?

The Yorkshireman in him was soon reawakened when Mark W, standing at slip, helpfully offered to swap positions with him. The Skipper stepped in: "No, we need WICKETS!". With edges anticipated on a bouncy track, the Skip's thought processes were clear to all. The lad from Leeds just jutted his jaw. "Hear all, See all, Say nowt..."

All the while, Lurpak was charging down the hill with a hint of devil in his eye. He struck twice to remove the openers. Adam was coming up the hill.

When two well-coached youngsters started hitting fours through the covers we all wondered if we were watching a sequel to the BK game. Whitstable were halfway to victory with 8 wickets left. In the nick of time, Brother Jack combined with Tim to dismiss Number 3. Then Selfish swung one to trap Number 4 LBW. Could the scriptwriter really pull off such a twist?

What followed was, in the words of the skipper, the finest display of catching in CCC's history (surely jinxing the tour in the process) as we worked our way through the middle order. Rocky joined in the self-congratulation with his own "excellent catch". And still Lurpak tore down the slope.

When Whitstable's last man came out to bat, they needed 6 to win. A few runs were scrambled off Lurpak and Selfish. 129-9. 1 to tie, 2 to win. Lurpak began his demonic charge for the last time. Number 10 swiped at a delivery outside off stump. He connected and the ball flew away just behind square.

The Yorkshireman hadn't moved. A slightly raised eyebrow was his only facial reaction to the approaching ball. "Take all, Keep all, Drop nowt". As the leather, and with it victory, finally settled in his bruised hands, the Vice gave an almost imperceptible nod of the head, perhaps confirming to himself that an earlier insult from the other side of the Pennines had been set right.

Next second, the dour Yorkie had disappeared and Hollywood was back in town. The hero's dash towards the sunset, all sails rotating, teammates in pursuit, just needed a wide camera lens and a superimposed 'The End'.

Epilogue: Man of the Match and Best Supporting Actor Lurpak ended with the extraordinary figures of 17-2-56-7. He deserved his fish and chips - before presumably pounding the road back to London.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Outstanding effort CCC - especially from our man at the ES.

On to Wales, with confidence, with ethusiasm, and, I hope, with a new batting order!

Your humble servant

"Big" Jim

The Skipper said...

What was wrong with the batting order, Big Jim!? and what does Selfish mean by "steady...slow"? I was going like a train until I hit the ball.
Anyhow, well done to all who played in the epic!